The other day when I was talking to my shrink, we began to talk about my father, I reverted to a child-like state, I curled up into a ball and wouldn't look at him, I just focused on my hands and kept quiet. I don't remember any abuse in my past but the way I acted pointed directly at abuse. Is it possible that my fathers arrogant presence and physical prowess makes me feel as if I have been abused, or maybe his verbal abuse still haunting me, or is it possible that I was abused and just don't remember?
All these things are possible.... But if I were you I would look into getting involved in cbt and a cbt group. It focusses on learning to deal with your future as you cannot change what has happened to you in the past, but you can learn to deal with things from here on out and relieve your anxiety and depression. Plus cbt is the most proven successful (80-90%) treatment for anxiety and depression without meds.
Yes dear it is possible that just the way your father makes you feel makes you feel this way talking about him. And it is possible that there was abuse that you blocked out somehow. I agree with trying to move on and everything, but the truth is you need to find out what happened first, before you can move on. With almost all people who have blocked out abuse, you will eventually suffer a breakdown if you do not deal with it. I would suggest hypnotism. It is the only thing I have ever heard of that helps you remember your past.
But if you would rather not know and want to just try to move past it without knowing, then I would definately go with the above advice. I would go with the above advice anyway, but I think it would help to make sure you know exactly what it is you are dealing with.
I was not ever abused but i'm a little over halfway through a cbt group (8th week of 12) that meets once a week. We have several people in our group who suffer from different forms of health anxiety as well as people suffering from depression, sad, ptsd (abuse) and panic (which is what i'm there for). I'm really starting to make progress and it's definitely worth trying.
I was abused by my (x) father since the day I was born my twin sister was not in year 3 half way through some school holidays I went to visit him my step mum and sisters when he tried to kill me been suffering for my entire life i'm getting counsiling but it isn't working cause all she wants to do is talk bout my (x) father to which i'll never do when ever I hear his name I through or hit something though wanting it to be a person I know where he lives in brisbane the problem is i'm moving there cause mums in the army and already have planned how to get him back so he never will forget
I agree totally with purple.
Revenge on him is going to do nothing but further destroy your life and he will win.
Get counseling and find a way to try to get over this. Way easier said then done, I know. But, you can overcome this. Don't let him ruin your whole life. Take the rest of your life and make it wonderful. That will show him more then any kind of revenge ever would.
How old are you? Do you have to go with your mum? Is your (x) father the one you almost killed? _ understandable reaction, but he is not worth ruining your life over & what about your twin sister, where's she? & was she also abused? Is she someone you can talk to??
There are plenty of places where you can get counselling here, many covered by medicare, some require part to full private health cover though. From my own life there are a couple of things that I do not talk about so I understand that & I believe that you have the right not to talk about something if it is too painful etc. But since this did, has & is destroying your life you need to make some decisions>>>>>>>>&
1) is he worth it? 2) do you want him to win?? - I mean here, he hurt you, do you want that hurt to get worse without his help so that he wins??
3)what choices do you have? (affected by age, family, friends, location & what agencies are nearby to assist you).
4) if you could (big ask here I know) get over/past/through this what would you choose to do with your life? Where would you choose to live?
5) do you want to make positive choices for your future or negative ones that hand the power back to your (x) father????
6) ask &/or pm me & if you want some help getting things sorted, figuring out what you want & where you want to go & what you want to do - well i'm here & I am sure that there are others.
I am 15 and he is not the one I almost killed I now live with my mum and with me sister and I would rather be dead than talk to that lazy !**@!!!!!!!
To me at the moment he's winning cause me step sisters are suffaring the older one and who knows who else is suffering lets see where could I choose to live what bout on another planet? Me future at the moment is planning to become a forensic pathologist actually I don't mind talking bout it it is just with me family or people who only want to talk bout him that I stay away from me entire life is ruled but negative things but I can't help it thinking positive feels wrong and strange to me