So my girlfriend and I have been together
three years and we have had sex a million
times, never a problem. A couple of weeks
ago, for some reason, I guess because of
stress and anxiety, I couldn't maintain an
erection long enough and went soft before
entry. I really felt ashamed because
nothing like that had ever happened
before. So then the next time we went to
have sex I was thinking about my previous
failure and worrying about it happening
again, and what do you know? It happened
again. This same thing has happened about
4 times now and it is really starting to
bother me and my girlfriend. This "fear of
failing" thing was never an issue and now
all of a sudden it is. I've been under a
lot of stress and anxiety lately and that
might have something to do with it. But
has anyone on here ever experienced this
before? What's the best way to get past
it? Its crazy because even when I go to
masturbate I get the same nervous feelings
and my heart starts racing and it becomes
difficult to maintain an erection. I feel
like I'm letting my thoughts take too much
control over me. I'm thinking maybe I need
a complete lifestyle makeover at this
point. I don't exercise, I drink a ton of
coffee, my job stresses me out, and I eat
bad. I think it is starting to take a toll
on me.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-15-07 19:32pm
stop drinking so much coffee
eat a good diet
and quit thinking about it ok?
thats why its happening
sounds like you need to enjoy life more.
theres something your missing. i love my
life and me and my boyfriends sex life has
never been better because we are both at a
happy place in our lives
when you are too, your sex life will get
better again
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Mangucho
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2007 Posts: 26
Posted: 07-16-07 14:18pm
Maybe your food is doing it, yeah stress
can do it as well. But the biggest reason
why its happening, its thinking about the
errection.Thats what I had on my first
times, the first 3 times, i finished numb
and soft. Becouse i was thinking "please
dont go soft", but then, I just relaxed,
and didnt think about, just when youre in
bed, with the girl, dont and again dont,
think about it, if you will think about
it, you will fail again, and again, and
again. The thing is not to think about the
errection, but think about the things what
make you errect, like look at her, and
look at her breast how they swing, listen
carefully to her moans. And let she tease
you, by putting her hand near your penis,
or even let her touch, play with it. Thats
what worked for me, and WOLLLAH ! And
remember the longer you will feel stressed
and emberassed about it, the longer you
will fail. As soon as you will accept it,
and keep an thought in your mind if you
fail again, just accept it, accept it as
it would be normal thing. it happens,
mostly all men have experienced this, in
their first times (like me), or later. But
most of them ( I hope) have got trough
this, without much swet
Oh and if you get morning errections, or
if you can get an errection while watching
porn, then its a menthal problem, not
physical. Its all in your head. And kick
that crap outta your head.
Just keep on moving m8
Sorry for my bad english, its my 2nd
language.
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womaninpain
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 179
Posted: 07-16-07 14:21pm
Stress plays the biggest part, another
reason is because you are fearing it and
thinking about it...you have to try and
think about all of the times you didn't
fail and imagine yourself doing it and
doing it good without failing..yes
exercise and diet might have something to
do with it BUT if you haven't changed your
diet and you were the same way before with
that as now then there is a smaller chance
that diet and exercise has something to do
with it...
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shgrdii
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Mar 2005 Posts: 14
Posted: 07-16-07 14:37pm
Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I've just
been in my head a lot lately and I gotta
get out of it. I've been thinking
obsessively about everything lately, which
has worsened this situation. I just gotta
relax and realise that throughout the
course of our relationship, I performed
perfectly 99.9% of the time and that these
past few times that I couldn't, I should
just put them behind me and not worry
about it anymore. Thanks again.
