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My Life Has Changed

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July 13th, 2007
2 years ago I worked in a office with 2 other girls,. we had been in the sane office aprox 9 years spending 8 to 10 hours everyday and somtimes much longer together, there were only of 3 of us there so needless to say we became like family,
One morinmg on the way to work ( they call pooled) they had a head on collision with a tractor trailor. Both were killed instantly. I waited for them for 30 min they didn't arrive I knew something was wrong. I can't get over it I still work in the same office with 2 new girls I have not allowed myself to get close to them I can never bear that pain again. It was carried over in how i relate to my husband my children and grand kids. Therer just not the love their once was. maybe i an scared of another hurt and maybe my feeling are just shut down, I know one thing for sure it should of been me killed that morning the other 2 girls would of went on a had a happy life not wasting it on daily tears and sadness. is there anyone out there who can help me come back to my life not this one of pain
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twilight_mist
replied July 14th, 2007
I do wish I could just sweep all your pain away hun.

People react differntly to tragedies in their lives. Some, like you, seem to emotionally shut down. Do not judge yourself to harshly for this.

Have you tried talking to your husband and children about how you are feeling and why? If they know how you feel, they'll be more likely to understand, and perhaps they can help you to slowly get back to how you used to be.

Shutting of your emotions might be a defensive reaction, but in the long run, it will not help you. Try to change it, but don't rush it, take the time you need, and don't be afraid to ask those around you for help.
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rosalee
replied July 17th, 2007
It sounds as if you can't put down what happened. Everyone has their own grieving period. It can be days, months, even years. But when it goes on for too long, it's time to seek help.

Losing people you love is definitely traumatic. You could be suffering from PTSD, which can lead to many other things such as depression, which includes a symptom of shutting yourself away from everyone and shutting your feelings inside. Do you ever relive the memories in a dream? If you do, please find counselling.

Best wishes to you.
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BOB12345678910
replied July 18th, 2007
Hi there lots of people say that it will take a long time to get over somthing like this but talking to your family about this can help thats what family is for and talk to your new work mates they really do know what has happened but dont want to say anything to you
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