I do wish I could just sweep all your pain away hun.
People react differntly to tragedies in their lives. Some, like you, seem to emotionally shut down. Do not judge yourself to harshly for this.
Have you tried talking to your husband and children about how you are feeling and why? If they know how you feel, they'll be more likely to understand, and perhaps they can help you to slowly get back to how you used to be.
Shutting of your emotions might be a defensive reaction, but in the long run, it will not help you. Try to change it, but don't rush it, take the time you need, and don't be afraid to ask those around you for help.