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Q: Lost And Confused
asked by:
janey45
on July 12th, 2007
New User
well i met my ex-about a year ago and i never though i would fall in love with him because he is so different from the men i ever dated before,
anyway,
little by little i fell more and more in love with him, we talked about our futures, our aspirations and even children! but he knew i couldn't have any now because i am only 20 and still in school. He's 26. Anyway 2-3 months ago i noticed that was not spending as much time with me and that he was always out working or with friends. even during my spring break i barely saw him. Even my mom said that if someone loves you they find a way to see you however tired they might be. and you know for being blind and in love i dismissed her comment that he might be cheating on me, but boy was i wrong!!!
about 3 weeks he invited me to the movies and the whole time i was a little mad at him because he took awhile to pick me up. anyway throughout the whole movie he tried to kiss me and was holding me and putting his arm around me i finally let me kiss me and i know that he felt something because he looked like he enjoyed it. Anyway after the movie he said he needed to be somewhere at 6pm, supposedly a guy party i got mad again bu i was like whatever just go. i told my mom and she knew something was up and she was right. At about 2am that night he called me to tell me he didn't love me and that he needed to be alone for awhile and that in time he might want to get back with me. of course i was devestated and hurt and confused with his attitude i asked him why did he kiss me and not tell me at the movies that he wanted to break up, and he didn't answer.
anyway a week went by i was of course sad and confused and i get a call from his family and they tell me that he cheated on me with some women they met last week at 6 pm and that she moved in 3 days after our break-up, i just broke down on the phone, he never seemed like the type of person that would do that to me. they of course didn't think he'd do that either and told me to come up with something to get him back, i was just in total shock the whole conversation. i just ended up saying if thats his decision will no one is forcing gim to do it he did it himself. The thing that really bugged me besides that fact they already live together is that the women has 2 kids that are not even his, i mean what type of guy does that? i know i should not blame the girl but obviously she does not have good intentions, i mean what type of women moves in with a guy she barely knows???
i know i have my defects but why her why a woman with 2 kids? and why did he not tell me? why did i have to get lies from him and his family told me? i ahte this feeling!!!
i mean i know the women is using him and i still love him want him to be happy but i just know he is making a huge mistake.
After though, the following day after not sleeping the whole night i wrote him a letter and decided to stalk him in the mourning before he went to work. i don't know how i got the courage to do it but i did, and i asked him why he did that to me? he couldn't look me in the eye at all i ahd to keep on asking him to look me straight in the eye. he said that because i took to long to get ready and that we always fought. in my mind i was BS!!! i mean just for that, our little pity fights didn't even last a day we made up within the hour always. He also said she treated him better, but common they met at a club and what woman with 2 kids and no baby's daddy won't treat any guy nice? she doesn't have much more opportunities left!!!! but i think because i gained weight throughout our relationship and because i only see him on weekends because i go to school he just had too much liberty and used it against me.
all i wanna know is why he left me for a women with 2 kids that aren't his and they already moved in together, i don't think thats right the only explanation i have is that she might be pregnant, but supposedly shes not, but i know that in time she will be because she is that type of woman.
sorry for making it soooo long!!!!
|
Replies(5)
young Girl
replied on July 12th, 2007
Especially eHealthy
Re: Lost And Confused
| janey45 wrote: |
| Hello i'm new here and i have been reading some of the advice given to people going through heart breaks but i feel my case is somewhat different.
well i met my ex-about a year ago and i never though i would fall in love with him because he is so different from the men i ever dated before, anyway, little by little i fell more and more in love with him, we talked about our futures, our aspirations and even children! but he knew i couldn't have any now because i am only 20 and still in school. He's 26. Anyway 2-3 months ago i noticed that was not spending as much time with me and that he was always out working or with friends. even during my spring break i barely saw him. Even my mom said that if someone loves you they find a way to see you however tired they might be. and you know for being blind and in love i dismissed her comment that he might be cheating on me, but boy was i wrong!!! about 3 weeks he invited me to the movies and the whole time i was a little mad at him because he took awhile to pick me up. anyway throughout the whole movie he tried to kiss me and was holding me and putting his arm around me i finally let me kiss me and i know that he felt something because he looked like he enjoyed it. Anyway after the movie he said he needed to be somewhere at 6pm, supposedly a guy party i got mad again bu i was like whatever just go. i told my mom and she knew something was up and she was right. At about 2am that night he called me to tell me he didn't love me and that he needed to be alone for awhile and that in time he might want to get back with me. of course i was devestated and hurt and confused with his attitude i asked him why did he kiss me and not tell me at the movies that he wanted to break up, and he didn't answer. anyway a week went by i was of course sad and confused and i get a call from his family and they tell me that he cheated on me with some women they met last week at 6 pm and that she moved in 3 days after our break-up, i just broke down on the phone, he never seemed like the type of person that would do that to me. they of course didn't think he'd do that either and told me to come up with something to get him back, i was just in total shock the whole conversation. i just ended up saying if thats his decision will no one is forcing gim to do it he did it himself. The thing that really bugged me besides that fact they already live together is that the women has 2 kids that are not even his, i mean what type of guy does that? i know i should not blame the girl but obviously she does not have good intentions, i mean what type of women moves in with a guy she barely knows??? i know i have my defects but why her why a woman with 2 kids? and why did he not tell me? why did i have to get lies from him and his family told me? i ahte this feeling!!! i mean i know the women is using him and i still love him want him to be happy but i just know he is making a huge mistake. After though, the following day after not sleeping the whole night i wrote him a letter and decided to stalk him in the mourning before he went to work. i don't know how i got the courage to do it but i did, and i asked him why he did that to me? he couldn't look me in the eye at all i ahd to keep on asking him to look me straight in the eye. he said that because i took to long to get ready and that we always fought. in my mind i was BS!!! i mean just for that, our little pity fights didn't even last a day we made up within the hour always. He also said she treated him better, but common they met at a club and what woman with 2 kids and no baby's daddy won't treat any guy nice? she doesn't have much more opportunities left!!!! but i think because i gained weight throughout our relationship and because i only see him on weekends because i go to school he just had too much liberty and used it against me. all i wanna know is why he left me for a women with 2 kids that aren't his and they already moved in together, i don't think thats right the only explanation i have is that she might be pregnant, but supposedly shes not, but i know that in time she will be because she is that type of woman. sorry for making it soooo long!!!! |
he left you because he's [please use proper words on the forums.thank you]
lol sorry hun
your better than that jerk
he didnt even have enough balls to tell you himself?!
|
Willa Weintraub
replied on July 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Re: Lost And Confused
| janey45 wrote: |
| i mean what type of women moves in with a guy she barely knows???
|
|
janey45
replied on July 13th, 2007
New User
Still Confused
well he never wanted me to know about his infidelity, i learned about it from his family, i mean he didn't have the balls to tell me!!! that really hurt but its better that i know that, than live a lie!
anyway i'm getting mixed messages from the family supposedly they know each other for a month but when he told me he said a 4 months, that really hurt!!!!
anyway i still don't understand, there being so many woman in the world he goes after highly availables! i know he one as well but common she has 2 kids, not his and already moving in with a guy, what type of mother exposes that to her children???
anyway thanks for your advice!!!
anyway i'm getting mixed messages from the family supposedly they know each other for a month but when he told me he said a 4 months, that really hurt!!!!
anyway i still don't understand, there being so many woman in the world he goes after highly availables! i know he one as well but common she has 2 kids, not his and already moving in with a guy, what type of mother exposes that to her children???
anyway thanks for your advice!!!
|
Willa Weintraub
replied on July 13th, 2007
Extremely eHealthy
Re: Still Confused
| janey45 wrote: |
| well he never wanted me to know about his infidelity, i learned about it from his family, i mean he didn't have the balls to tell me!!! that really hurt but its better that i know that, than live a lie!
anyway i'm getting mixed messages from the family supposedly they know each other for a month but when he told me he said a 4 months, that really hurt!!!! anyway i still don't understand, there being so many woman in the world he goes after highly availables! i know he one as well but common she has 2 kids, not his and already moving in with a guy, what type of mother exposes that to her children??? anyway thanks for your advice!!! |
|
womaninpain
replied on July 19th, 2007
Experienced User
Ok I read your original post and your threads thereafter...
I have quite a few things to say...
First off I totally understand where you are coming from...I have been there and been cheated on.
Second I think that it is really crappy for his family to call you and tell you that stuff...if they had any sense they would realize how much that would hurt you and they would try to talk to him themselves and make him realize what he lost and go run for it, not have you go run for him.
Third you DON'T know how long exactly it has been, you don't know how fast the relationship with them progressed. Just because she is a mother with 2 children does not make her horrible. There are many single mothers out there for various reasons, who should not be alone, they deserve love...what I am saying is that she is not the culprit and there is nothing wrong with her because she has children, you are saying these things as if she had or was a disease. She is human. You can't be mad at her unless she knew about you and honestly it is my thought that she had no idea and she thought he was her prince charming.
Lastly you have to know that if he did it to you with her than he will do it to her with someone else. So sit back and wait for it all to happen...or you never know he might get hurt in it all..
You know, what goes around comes around, and his day will come.
He is not worth your time or effort and the last thing you should do right now is show him how much he hurt your and how much you care because he does not deserve it at all. I know that it's hard and that it hurts trust me I do, I went through 6 months of not eating or sleeping for the same thing...but it passes in time for some people it could be a week for some it could be a month or a year you never know but it will pass. You have to let it pass and not let him see it. You will get through it but you need to cut it off and stay away, you are so young and you will find someone who deserves you.
Also don't try and search for reasons for why he did this to you. You will make yourself feel worse. There are NO REASONS why someone should do this to someone. Gaining weight being not as pretty...these are not reasons, it has nothing to do with you and is not your fault at all so stop blaming yourself and the things that you have done or the way you are, it's him and don't allow him to blame you any longer either because if he were a real man he would have left you and then started a new relationship.
If you need to talk you can PM me
I have quite a few things to say...
First off I totally understand where you are coming from...I have been there and been cheated on.
Second I think that it is really crappy for his family to call you and tell you that stuff...if they had any sense they would realize how much that would hurt you and they would try to talk to him themselves and make him realize what he lost and go run for it, not have you go run for him.
Third you DON'T know how long exactly it has been, you don't know how fast the relationship with them progressed. Just because she is a mother with 2 children does not make her horrible. There are many single mothers out there for various reasons, who should not be alone, they deserve love...what I am saying is that she is not the culprit and there is nothing wrong with her because she has children, you are saying these things as if she had or was a disease. She is human. You can't be mad at her unless she knew about you and honestly it is my thought that she had no idea and she thought he was her prince charming.
Lastly you have to know that if he did it to you with her than he will do it to her with someone else. So sit back and wait for it all to happen...or you never know he might get hurt in it all..
You know, what goes around comes around, and his day will come.
He is not worth your time or effort and the last thing you should do right now is show him how much he hurt your and how much you care because he does not deserve it at all. I know that it's hard and that it hurts trust me I do, I went through 6 months of not eating or sleeping for the same thing...but it passes in time for some people it could be a week for some it could be a month or a year you never know but it will pass. You have to let it pass and not let him see it. You will get through it but you need to cut it off and stay away, you are so young and you will find someone who deserves you.
Also don't try and search for reasons for why he did this to you. You will make yourself feel worse. There are NO REASONS why someone should do this to someone. Gaining weight being not as pretty...these are not reasons, it has nothing to do with you and is not your fault at all so stop blaming yourself and the things that you have done or the way you are, it's him and don't allow him to blame you any longer either because if he were a real man he would have left you and then started a new relationship.
If you need to talk you can PM me
|
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