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Finally Admit That Am Struggling Singlehood ...

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bel_bel Experienced User
July 12th, 2007
I almost can't take it anymore, and really don't know where to start from here... it's torturing... I have never really been in a relationship before, some steady relationship that you look forward to spend time with someone that you can want to spend your life time with, a soulmate...
I hate those outing, those outing that full with couples, pair by pair, although some are really good friends and they tried their best to make me not feel 'out', but i still feel... Horrible... what's wrong with me? i could have a relationship and fall in love with any human with the chromosome .Y , I am a successful career women, great parents, sibbling, i own a house & 2 apartment, i am well educated, get to travel around the world, 26 years old, and am not ugly! sometime i ask .God, whole heartly.. y is this happen to me.. is it just because no one is perfect in this world that you have to take something away from me? don't you have an .Adam for everysingle .Eve?
why all the guys i fall for just never fall back, am so sick of falling in love with the 'wrong ones', am so sick of myself, pathetic, lonely, hide up and cry... everyone thought i have evrything, i already accomplish evry result anyone could ever want, do they know i just shed my tears in front of my laptop at 4pm yesterday, and quickly dried it with tissue before boss walked across ... before my engineers come over for advice and find tat am in pool of tears.
of cos i use to tell myself am good , am fine, am single and happy and i choose to be single.. No.. am not.. i just try to get someone i have feelings for to watch a movie with me, y i need to ask him 20times and get 20 lame excuses? i just feel so cheap, pathetic, i want my self-esteem back, i deleted his contacts (and hope that the one i remember in my brain is not correct). and then my heart sunk.. holy pathetic me... and then i cry, not just for that guy, i know, is for my loneliness, and longing for love... i have all the love from my sis, grandma, and mum, dad.. is jus different love am looking for now...
and.... w.o.w.. i never know i can be so vulnerable.. but yes.. am vulnerable! am not the dragon lady that my boss call me that way, am not the-girl-who-have-evrything..

i'm jus glad am being authentic here at this forum..
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Spirit
replied July 13th, 2007
Experienced User
I'm with you! Having your life all set up...........career, investments, family etc...................means nothing if you have no one to share it with...............and you right you aint ugly.............sucessful and driven

........so what's the problem?...........Dunno, maybe try toning it down a little?..........despite what men say most are threatened by successful women................make yourself more accessible..........smile, look em in the eye just a little longer than necessary, show em your genuninely happy to see em.................go where the men are...............difficult to find a mate when your in the workplace and the "pickins is slim"...........and personally I find the men in office-type jobs just a little too femininized for me....................and if you want to go out, try not to surround your self with lots of friends..............one at the most will do..............the friends act as an invisible wall and only the bravest of the brave will dare approach you

.............don't worry bout the one(s) that got away.................there's a reason .He doesn't give us .Everything we want.................He knows better Smile
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bel_bel
replied July 15th, 2007
Experienced User
Thanks spirit... People here are very helpful and some of them get thru and know more bout 'life' more than me... I am gonna get this book "Why men marry b!+ches?" by this week, is recommend by a friedn here thru pm after seeing my post...
will update my feedback and browsing round here.. Wink
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j_j89
replied July 15th, 2007
Re: Finally Admit That Am Struggling Singlehood ...
I understand what you mean about being among couples. It gets a little hard to deal with sometimes. Quite a few men feel the need to be the "breadwinner" or superior in some way. I find it highly attractive and impressive of what you have accomplished for yourself. But on average a man feels threatened or intimidated by this. This may account for your problem. I also understand what you mean by a different kind of love is desired, its so very different and also just as important as love coming from. Just be glad that you have that love coming from your family, if you did not have that you would probably have another issue in relationships. It will probably just come down to you finding the confident man you need who is not afraid of some power or make less money than you, or own less than you do. You are a talented professional who knows what she wants out of life, that is a wonderful thing that will set you apart in a good way. Don't shed those tears! You are way too beautiful for that. Often the best love is the love that comes and grabs you. Good luck out there
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Spirit
replied July 16th, 2007
Experienced User
Re: Finally Admit That Am Struggling Singlehood ...
[quote="j_j89"]I understand what you mean about being among couples. It gets a little hard to deal with sometimes. Quite a few men feel the need to be the "breadwinner" or superior in some way. I find it highly attractive and impressive of what you have accomplished for yourself. But on average a man feels threatened or intimidated by this. This may account for your problem. I also understand what you mean by a different kind of love is desired, its so very different and also just as important as love coming from. Just be glad that you have that love coming from your family, if you did not have that you would probably have another issue in relationships. It will probably just come down to you finding the confident man you need who is not afraid of some power or make less money than you, or own less than you do. You are a talented professional who knows what she wants out of life, that is a wonderful thing that will set you apart in a good way. Don't shed those tears! You are way too beautiful for that. Often the best love is the love that comes and grabs you. Good luck out there[/quote

Well said..............and ditto! Smile
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achowd
replied September 6th, 2007
Finding Love Is Taking Risks....
Hi,

I feel for your pain. It is tough to not be able to share a life or your interests with someone who is compatible. Judging from your post - you have a lot to offer. Not only a successful career woman but also an intelligent caring person.

With that said, one piece of advice I can give is to date. And I mean date a lot! Go out and join different group activities that your schedule permits - from sports leagues to art groups and such. THe more you're out there the more potential there is for your to meet someone not only for a relationship, but also for friendship. Expand your network!

This not only allows you to make new friends, but also allows you to be choosy because you have so many to choose from! lol. But in short, be happy with what you have, and mix with as many people as possible!

good luck!

AC
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Mo1111
replied February 6th, 2010
I'm 27
Its an endless issue due to we (Age Group 24-30) were raised by parents who were dedicated to develop economic and material skill ignoring inter-relation, social, and most important emotional skills.

Develop Social, Ignore Money, Ignore Material.
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Mo1111
replied February 6th, 2010
I'm 27
Its an endless issue due to we (Age Group 24-30) were raised by parents who were dedicated to develop economic and material skill ignoring inter-relation, social, and most important emotional skills.

Develop Social, Ignore Money, Ignore Material.
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mya89
replied May 22nd, 2010
Hello, I just want to say I feel your pain. I am a 20 year old female in a similar situation. Sometimes it gets to me, sometimes it doesn't..whilst the entire, we're so conscious of the fact that time's ticking and we're not getting any younger.
Please don't put yourself down, you know yourself that you're a good, sucessful person, not a loser by any means but sometimes, a certain culture or environment we find ourselves in may mean that some good qualities aren't desired by the opposite sex. I think if you're desperate enough, lower your standards and make yourself accessible to men. I know that's my problem, and the little issue of confident as well haha but I struggle to follow it through and go into a whirlwind of fantasies that people will just accept me for who I am which isn't always true.
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