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x-shaz-x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 4
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Midwife says I'm too young for motherhood
Posted: 05-04-08 15:09pm
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hi im a little bit worried, im 20 i have a
3 yr old and am nearly 14 weeks pregnant,
i have been to see my midwife and she
seems to think that im to young to have
two children, by the time this baby is
born i will be 21 and my son will be 4.
does she have the right to tell me this ,
i mean i got pregnant at 16 with my son
and i mannaged i have a full time well
paid job, my own house and my partner and
i are engaged and have been together from
when we were 14. my family and his are so
happy for us both. but it just makes me
feel down she is my midwife she should not
be alowed to make me feel so bad . or is
she ?? 
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Amethyst_Butterfly
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Posted: 05-04-08 15:11pm
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Wow, that would seem out of line in my
book.
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x-shaz-x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 May 2008
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Posted: 05-04-08 15:16pm
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i thought that as well ! but am just not
to sure !!
x-shaz-x
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mominashoe
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Posted: 05-04-08 15:44pm
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If you don't like your midwife, I'm sure
there are other ones that are much more
positive than the one you have! She was
way out of line to say that. You should
be straight up with her and stand up for
yourself and your baby. If she values her
job as a midwife, she will have to be
encouraging to moms, or no one is going to
want to go to her. I sure wouldn't. All
because you are young doesn't mean that
you aren't capable.
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Zanny
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Posted: 05-04-08 15:56pm
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Your midwife is completely out of order.
You should ask to see someone else, I
wouldn't stand for that. I am 19 &
this is my second pregnancy.. &
luckily my midwife is very nice &
hasn't made any comments on my age. You
don't have to put up with her negative
attitude.
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FlowerMom_03
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Apr 2008
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Location: Da Boon Docks, La
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Posted: 05-04-08 16:58pm
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I am 25 & have 3 children....8, gonna
be 6 & gonna be 2.
I always took care of my babies & I am
a good mom.
You sound the same way, If she makes any
more comments like that or derogatory in
any way, you should let her know how you
feel. It's none of her business in my
opinion.
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Jules
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Posted: 05-05-08 06:22am
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If you were, say, 14 and physically and
emotionally immature then I would
understand her concern but you are an
adult and it is not her place to judge
you.
What a cowbag.
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PenguinsRus
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Posted: 05-05-08 09:47am
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That is very rude of her. You are
perfectly capable of making your own
decisions at this age. If I were you, I
would find a new midwife. I don't think
I'd be comfortable having one who I knew
was looking down on me.
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Mabel
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Posted: 05-05-08 10:32am
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I'd like to know the context of how she
said it. For instance, did she say
something like, "You don't look old enough
to have two children!" That is
considerably different than her saying,
"At age 21, you are far too young to have
two children!"
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Dannzibelle
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Posted: 05-07-08 15:21pm
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she doesn't have the right to say that,
she should keep her opinions to herself. I
was 15 when i was pregnant so i'vehad alot
of people saythat to me
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krystineM
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Posted: 05-07-08 16:16pm
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thats seems way out of line to say...you
should mention it to your doctor and see
if they can find a new midwife, someone
who isn't rude like that.
You may have been young when you had your
first, but you've done very well
considering having a child at 16, your
still with the same guy and engaged, and
now having a second child, she doesn't
have a right to say that.
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Mabel
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Posted: 05-07-08 17:18pm
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I'd still like to know what the context
was the midwife said this was. There could
be a lot of things that could be said
about age that could be taken the wrong
way. We don't know it was derogatory.
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Lilly Ivy
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Posted: 05-11-08 00:44am
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I'd definitely say she's out of line if it
was said in the manner of 'OMG, you have
two kids already?! you're way too young!'
But if it was said 'you LOOK too young to
have two kids' I'd take that as a
compliment 
IMO, if you can physically (money,
shelter) and emotionally support your
kids, age shouldn't matter. I have a
friend that just had her second and she
just turned 20 (I think her oldest is 3
too).
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jessamyn
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Posted: 05-12-08 15:12pm
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It is her personal opinion. If you are
unhappy with her services then you should
look into transferring practices. She may
also be focusing on yoru body
structure/development from having a child
so young and then another?
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x-shaz-x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 4
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Posted: 06-05-08 22:01pm
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no she said to me i think your a bit to
young to be having two children dont you
?? what if your partner leaves you could
you cope on your own ?? i have seen her
again from then and again she asked me the
same question and i asked her what made
her say that, all she said was 20 with 2
kids , dont you want a life ? i told her i
love my life just how it is thanks, gosh
im sorry im not sleeping ablout going out
getting so drunk i dont remember and not
having a job !! is that what i should be
doing ??
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Moo
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Posted: 06-06-08 04:42am
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Maybe that is her opinion but she has no
right to make those comments to you and
it's unprofessional to ask questions like
that - anyone's partner could leave them
at some point, doesn't matter what age you
are! She really shouldn't be saying those
things, her job is to provide you with
your maternity care not question your life
choices!
If you can I would say something to her
the next time she makes reference to her
opinion of you being "too young" (not
rude, just ask her to keep her opinions to
herself and that you're more than happy as
things are ) but if you can't
then ask to see another midwife, it's too
much of a long process to have someone
you're not comfortable with providing your
care.
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Dannzibelle
Supporter
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Posted: 06-07-08 15:10pm
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personally i'd change midwives, pregnancy
is a wonderful thing and i'd want to enjoy
my appointments not feel asthough i'm
being judged
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