Medical Questions > Parenting > Teens Forum

16 too young for sex ?

Okay so the other day I was talking with a friend. She is 15. She was telling me about how her and her boyfriend had sex, (why, i dont know) and I'm thinking, are your parents okay with this? And she said Well I told my mom the first time it happened (right after she turned 15) and she said she understood that she was a teenager and things like this happen. I was shocked because first of all, I dont understand why her mom didnt knock the crap out of her. Because I think 15 is way too young for parents not to over react. I think Im too young to do it, even though I did and Im 16. Then I started asking to some other people if they're parents knew they were sexually active. Which, lets face it, most teenagers are. Anyways, and they said that their parents were understanding. So I dont know if Im the only one, But apparently I am the only person whose parents would beat the crap out of me. If i had the guts to tell my mom i had sex the conversation would go a little like this. (sorry for the language)..oh wait nevermind ill have to block it out anyways to post this.lol
Me: "Mom, I need to tell you something."
Mom: "What did you do!!!"
Me: "Well I thought you should know, (my bf) and I had sex. I know it was irresponsible and stupid but i promise its not going to happen again, im sorry"
Mom: "you did what?!?!?!?!?!? You little (hor)! you are way too young to be doing that !! "
Me: "i knowwww..i wont do it agian i promiseeee" (as she grabs the back of my hair and starts beating me in the face)
Mom: (continues the beating while saying) "I know its never going to happen agian. I'll make sure of it. You are NEVER going to see him again, actually your going to call him right now and break up with him, THEN im going to talk to his mom and if i find out anything else you've done, this beating wont be no where near as bad as the one your going to get!"
Me: (cries, calls boyfriend, tells him she's making us break up) and after im off the phone
Mom: (yanks the phone from me, grabs my by the back of my neck and shoves me in my room) "Get your butt in there. You're never seeing that boy again." (stomps off mumbling stupid (beach)

So yeah.. i thought this was normal to happen if you told your mom you wasnt a virgin anymore. but yet im reading all the stuff
on how 16 is a normal age to do that. is it really?? If so, someone tell that to my mom.
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replied February 17th, 2011
Well i don't think any one should have sex before marriage, not only that your mom was a teen at one point and time....
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replied February 17th, 2011
Just do it with-out telling you mom?
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replied February 17th, 2011
"Just do it with-out telling you mom?" dont listen to this guy...
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replied February 22nd, 2011
you should tell your mom. But don't say it with confidence. You should'nt be confessing, but at least tell her it was something you needed to get off your chest (because it obviously is). i'm 15 and me and my gf hav'nt had sex, yet. but when i do lose my virginity to her ((because she already lost hers)or anyone else) i would be sure to tell my mom. probably not the day after but maybe after a week or 2. hope i helped you with your problem
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replied April 8th, 2011
i think it depends upon the attitude of your mom Smile is she a nagger or understanding or what ? anyway what is your nationality..
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replied June 29th, 2011
Experienced User
i am 16,very nearly 17 and my boyfriend is just 17. we have known each other 6 years and been together 1 year. i have had sex with him a fair few times. we wiated 6 months of being together first. his mum found out a few weeks ago and having been engaged at our age and on the pill all she said was you're being responsible, well done, and it's your life, you're legally allowed, you can share a room now. she was very calm about it as she knows me really well and knows how much i actually care about her son and the same for him about me.
my family is the opposite and make up lies about why we can;t share my room, even though i have two single beds in there. the funny part is is that she obviously knows what happens just doesn;t want to admit it. i think 16 is completely fine as long as you can live with yourself afterwards. don't regret anything.
i am so glad i have slept with this guy as even if we break up at least i won't feel i've waasted it on someone who didn't care, idid'n tknow or a drunk event.
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replied August 27th, 2011
what the..? 16 is WAYYY TOO young. I mean you have to wait !! You are young and u wont be with this boyfriend anymore so , I think being a virgin its so important and you have to wait til marriage!! I'm 15 and I'm not allowed to have a bf ,none of my friend are.Not even talking about sex.Any parent who would understand this is not a good parent at all
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replied August 27th, 2011
Experienced User
lesliebee,

I'll be 25 in a couple months and I started having sex around your age, my mother wasn't particularly thrilled, as any parent should be because you put yourself at risk, but so long as you're responsible about it if you decide to continue to have sex. You should tell you're mother, it's better she finds out from you versus someone else because then she'll really be pissed.

If you do tell her, sit her down and say mom I need to talk to you but I'll only talk if you don't yell, scream, or interrupt me. I need to get this off my chest and I need you to understand that I'm sorry but it happened.......
then go on with...... my bf and I had sex we were responsible about it (i hope you were) I know I'm too young but it happened and we all know it was bound to happen but I felt I needed to tell you because I trust you and knew you would be understanding.

with you telling her like that she'll know you trusted her enough to come to her, she'll know you were responsible about it and are willing to accept the consequences she will put forth.

I hope this helps feel free to email me if you need any clarification on what I said

Good luck!
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replied August 27th, 2011
Experienced User
i don't get why everyone is saying it's too young? in the UK the legal age is 16. parents know what it's like, if you're safe it's YOUR CHOICE not theirs. i slept with my boyfriend of a year when we were both 16 (we're 17 now and not together) and his mum found out. all she said was good for you! and at least you're safe. that was it. his dad said good on you too! becasue they knew me really really well, trusted us and knew we were happy together. end of the day, your choice. if you mess it up that's your fault to live with.
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replied August 27th, 2011
Experienced User
the more your parents say no.. the more you will do things. mine have never said "don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs". they trust me and we've learnt about it all at school etc. only one of those i do is drink.. they have been there most of the time and buy me whatever i want as i'm TRUSTED and also 17.. so i could drink in a year anyway. it annoyed me they wouldn't talk about sex, just avoided it but too bloody bad! i knew how to act, waited a long time and was safe and happy, which is all they want as it's unrealistic to think 16 year old won't have sex.
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