Hi all,
There is this girl from my school who i
have started talking too (almost 2 months
now!) as the rumours spread that i fancied
her, she knew that i fancied her. We have
been talking too each other every single
day; online, texing, or we might just have
a little talk. i have been out with her or
you could say a "date" 2 times now (not
the most successful ones though!),i love
her alot and she loves me alot, we have
held hands and huged eachother (we are not
in a relationship yet!)... However i am
too shy too ask her out and what too
do/say too her, could anyone give me some
advice as too what i should do/say too
her. Im not the "romantic" kind of person
so nothing too cheesy ...
Thank you so much for any help,
Dan.
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Beline
Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 499 Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 131
Thanked:150
Posted: 07-17-08 12:25pm
I’m considered the most unromantic
person alive so no chance of any
‘cheese’ here. I think the two of you
should spend a little more time face to
face so you could feel more comfortable in
her presence. It will make it easier to
ask her out.
It seems like she is really into you, so I
doubt think there will be any problems in
that regard. Once you are comfortable
enough throw a line at her like: I like
spending time with you. If she responds
positively tell her that you would like
her to be your girlfriend.
Good luck, Dan!
Ps. I guess it’s a little late to wish
you a happy Birthday?
Im in a very similar situation.
i too started like meeting up with her
about 2 months ago, and have had 2 so
called dates and ive kissed her (though i
was drunk). we're both 17. im pretty sure
she likes me back, eveybody else asumed we
were already together at a recent party,
however i always have trouble popping the
question.
i think that the straight off "will you
go out with me" is a tad childish. take
her somewhere nice that means alot to the
pair of you, like where you first met or
her favourite meal, or even better, cook
for her. one thing you have to relax and
dont go over it in your head over and over
again. and definately dont do it by text
or IM.
ill probs just ask her if she wants to be
my girlfriend about halfway through the
date, that way i dont seem pushy, and i
still get to have a nice intimate time
with her.
good luck, let me know how you get along
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RoboBunny
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 4 Location: ,
Posted: 10-06-08 11:17am
WARNING! Large post coming up! If you want
to do this with tact, you better read it
all, buddy.
Well, joking aside: it's pretty simple,
really...
You don't ask her out... Yet...
In order to avoid potentially losing her
as a friend and making things very awkward
between the two of you, you'll first have
to figure out whether she's really
interested in you.
You can do this pretty easily:
1. move closer to her (when sitting on a
chair for example), turn towards her, lean
in to whisper something to her.
2. touch her. A casual touch on her wrist
when making a point or when laughing in
conversation. Or when she's sitting
somewhere with her back turned to you and
you walk up to her without being seen,
gently touch her shoulders when greeting
her.
3. TOUCH HER! But this time, do it
'romantically loaded'. When talking, just
stop, or stop listening when she's talking
(i.e. shift focus completely to her hair
or mouth), and then try to touch her more
intimately, like stroking some hair behind
her ears, or touching the side of her lips
when there's some food or moisture stuck
there or something. Hugging her tightly (5
seconds or more) when thanking her.
And then WATCH HER RESPONSE. WATCH HER
RESPONSE WATCH HER RESPONSEEE!!!!
If she backs off or if she looks like
she's saying 'get him off me!' in her mind
(even if it's slightly), you'll have some
work to do, because she doesn't feel
comfortable around you being so
touchy-feely, and she probably isn't very
interested. If she seems receptive, on the
other hand, when she smiles and looks you
in the eye, when she blushes or (ideally,
of course), when she touches you back,
then you're probably on the right track.
Now, one final note: I want you to do this
presicely in that order - do not suddenly
start feeling up her lips when you haven't
touched or been remotely close to her
physically before, it'll just be creepy -
and don't do it in machine-gun tempo.
Easy, cowboy, you have the time. You
should ideally do this over a couple of
days.
One more warning: if she seems unreceptive
to your advances, then don't persue it. If
she doesn't like you being closer to her
than you normally are, then don't touch
her (yet, there's always a way to turn
things around). If she doesn't like to be
touched, then don't go lip-smearing (yet).
Honestly: you might still stand a chance
when you take things slow and stop when
she wants you to stop (even if she doesn't
say it verbally), but when you're being
all creepy and pushy, then it's game over
for you.
Now, there are other ways to find out
whether she's interested in you, of
course, but this is the simplest, most
effective, most 'unromantic' (that is: you
don't need very much skill in romance,
tact, or romantic/sexual conversation to
do this).
A'ight?
Great! Report back in a couple of days (or
less) when you've done this.
Or, if you want to quicken things up, you
can pop the question about you've really
posted this thread about when the tension
is high between the two of you.
If you brush her hair back, she seems
receptive (and ideally, of course, when
she's appearing to be shy, shyly smiling,
or blushing, for example), just ask 'hey,
I just remembered, I'm gonna go to the
cinema [or shopping or whatever you want
to do] this weekend, wanna come with me?'
And again: watch her response. Look at her
bodylanguage, her tone of voice, the way
she looks at you.
And again: report back once you've done
all this. Report your every move, and her
every move, in as much detail as possible.
And don't forget to look at this stuff
objectively. Do not get all subjective
when observing her, if she backs off, she
backs off. There's no 'but' here.
Mmkay?
See you then! Cheers and good luck!
-RB
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RoboBunny
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 4 Location: ,
Posted: 10-06-08 12:17pm
Right, never mind, she likes you...
Now all that's left is asking her out and
making this more romantic, a'ight?
Just casually slip it in a conversation
like I've said before: just ask 'hey, I
just remembered, I'm gonna go to the
cinema [or shopping or whatever you want
to do] this weekend, wanna come with me?'
That should be enough.
You shouldn't be worried about asking her
out. You should be more 'worried' about
the date to come.