PLEASE READ THIS!
I will NOT deny that ADD and ADHD are real disorders. I have known adults with genuine cases and kids with genuine cases I am not here to tell you not to medicate, but I wanted to share my story.
When I was around 6 or 7 my parents were convinced I had this. The pushed my doctor at the time to put me on ritalin. Now keep in mind I was there for a lot of conversations between my parents and the doctor, he repeatedly insisted I had no signs of the disorder and just more emotional problems. Still my parents PUSHED for me to get a prescription. I don't know how they talked the guy into it but in the end I was put on it. The story doesn't end there.
Because of this, I had to go see the doctor about once a month so he could assess me and if the medication was helping. My parents coached me on what to say when I went in so that I could remain on ritalin. I promise you this is not a lie. I guess at the time I didn't think of it as odd but I was 6 years old, looking back now I see how weird that is. Anyway before I went in my parents would ask me things like, "What are you going to tell the doctor?" and my response was always something like, "I don't know." Then they would say, "Well tell him how much it helps you focus and how happy it makes you, okay?" and since my parents were very controlling and rather emotionally abusive, I was scared of what they would do if I disobeyed so I lied to the doctor.
Don't know what happened but we abruptly stopped seeing that doctor and moved to another one. Again, I heard the doctor tell them over and over that I did not have ADHD, they still insisted that I be kept on ritalin. I was abut 11 at this point in time, it was crazy stupid to me as I was beginning to start to agree with the doctors as I was older and thinking more logically. Not to mention the fact that I had an adult reading level at age 11 and was reading a Stephen King book at the time. This is important to mention because in that particular book a very similar situation was going on with one of the characters. His mother was convinced he was sick, convinced him he was sick, and got him on a bunch of stuff after finding a weak doctor to prescribe the medication for her peace of mind. So I was starting to draw connections and get suspicious.
Maybe 6 months later I was pulled from that doctor and we went to yet another one, my parents were again told the same thing. I was put through a lot of clinical tests from age 6-15 ALL of them concluded that I did not have ADHD, but my parents were insistant that there was something wrong with me. TO THIS DAY if you ask my dad (I am not longer speaking to them at this point but this is just one of the reasons why) he will tell you I could benefit from Ritalin. He is NOT a doctor, he's a lawyer, he has no way of knowing any of this.
At 17 I decided enough was enough. I refused to take it, then there would be consequences. At first it started with severe grounding, then threats of bodily harm, and then actual bodily harm until I took it. This was done in a very private fashion as well, none of my sisters are aware that I got slapped around as much as I did because my parents never did it in front of them and apparently only did it to me as I have heard from them 100 times that our parents were not like that. But I digress. Finally after NOT relenting no matter how bad it got, my parents decided one last time to have a study done. Once again NO SIGNS POINTED TO ADHD. I doubt they would have stopped there but soon after I turned 18 and was kicked out of the house so there's not much they could have done at that point anyway.
The whole reason I am saying this is: Unless you are a psychiatrist, or a psychologist and work specifically with children DON'T PUSH a diagnosis on them like this. Especially when it causes horrible stigma for them at school (trust me I know because my parents insisted I get a dose of ritalin at lunch period and that was announced over the PA system with a few other kids known as "spazzes" to come to the nurses office to get it) not to mention I was already a loner and a loser so this just added to my isolation. I don't know WHAT compelled my parents to decide that they knew I had it and no one would tell them different but they made up their minds and I suffered.
Consequently, I was given another throw away diagnosis at 16, borderline personality disorder. My sister who is getting her MSW now says that it's a "Catch-all" disease anyway and when I was diagnosed it was the popular thing to explain behavior problems. If my parents hadn't been so bent on labeling me with something that fit their idea of what I should have, the truth would have been squirrled out and I would have gotten better far quicker than I did.
At this point, all diagnoses have been revoked. No borderline and never any ADHD. The most I will cop to is my anxiety problems and abdandonment issues as I am adopted. I do not at all think I have anything else, and considering how much I have improved in just the few months where they took me off of the really heavy mood stabilizers I was on and switched me to a low dose of prozac, everyone BUT my parents (who I recently cut ties with) sees that I was boxed into a bunch of things I didn't have because my parents wanted an explanation for my behavior. After a long and detailed history was taken from my newest doctor, she said what probably happened was I had PTSD at the time because of a sexual assault I never disclosed to my parents as the first time I was sexually assaulted they blamed it on me and I was punished for it. I was too scared to go though that again so I kept silent, which turned into PTSD, which happened around the time they labled me borderline at 16 years of age.
All I am saying is, these labels will follow your kids for a LONG time. You have no idea how mentally screwed up I THOUGHT I was and STILL THINK I AM when all evidence points to me being relatively fine. My parents clearly wanted me to have some sort of problem and be some sort of leech on society because where I am now is basically where they put me when I am starting to realize the potential I actually have without having to be on the medications they forced me to take for so many years. I never went off of the heavy stuff even after I turned 18 because it was so drilled into my head I would die without it, be suicidal or psycho or something. I was on zoloft for 15 years, 200mgs (And I detoxed from it late last year when my doctor insisted I didn't need it, might never have needed it, and should go off sooner rather than later as it's one of the hardest drugs to get off of) I was told so much by my parents that I would become some sort of danger to myself and everyone else if I didn't take the meds THEY chose for me (and I can list 100's they THEY decided were working when they weren't) that I was brainwashed into thinking at a young age that it was the pills that kept me "normal" when there was nothing all that wrong with me to begin with.
All I am trying to say is, hear my story. I am all for getting a second opinion if you don't agree with the first, seriously, I have done that myself as an adult. BUT when 4 or 5 doctors are giving you the SAME opinion it's time to STOP trying to shove things down your kids throats, and teach them to lie to get more drugs because you are convinced they will help them when you actually have NO IDEA what's wrong you just want to be able to put a name on it.
Thank GOD I voluntarily decided to stay in therapy, and with the hell my parents made it before I could reach confidentiality I don't know why I didn't just stop all together at 18. I am finding that what they boxed me into and how they treated me dictated for a very long time how I would react. Now I have completely disowned them because they still tell me that going off my medications was wrong and that I am not healthy and my diagnosis just doesn't "Go away" when yeah actually borderline can depending on how hard you work on it and how much therapy you do. This has caused extreme IRE between me and them and I can't forgive them for it as I would have started to excel so much faster than at age 27 if they just would have SHUT UP and listened to the doctors and stopped trying to put a name to what was wrong with me.
That's all I have to say and I hope you understand I don't think all parents are like this, this is a unique and extreme case I am sure of it, I just want you to know what can happen if you stop listening to your child and put all your faith in medications that sedate him or her.
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