TMJ and Swollen glands/lymph nodes

I was diagnosed by my primary doctor with TMJ about 6 months ago. I frequently have swollen glands or lymph nodes (embarrassingly I don't know which is which) that are terribly painful. I am so terrified that something else is really wrong with me other than TMJ. This anxiety could possibly be making my TMJ worse. I was a smoker, and occasionally have a cigarette (trying hard to quit completely), and when I do my neck swells up horribly (I also get pain in my ear). It's always on the right side. Does anyone else have the same problems?