Tired of being alone
At least I'm not alone in this. However my situation is a little different.Just to set the premise, when I was a kid in school I had no problem at all meeting girls,making out,etc. In fact I made out with a girl for the first time in kindergarten I mean open mouth and all,we could've won best kiss on one of those award shows.Later when I was 14 I fell in love I mean really in love and by the time I was 15 we were VERY sexually active.I was just too young and she was 19 and moved on with some G.I. who could take her horseback riding and what not. Then when I was 18 I fell in love in again this girl was 15 at the time and I really loved her. We were close friends,the kind that would just sit and talk for hours.I had no problem telling her that I loved her and assured her that I didn't care if she didn't feel the same way I just wanted to be honest with her about how I felt and that I wanted to be more than just friends.We continued to be close despite the fact that she usually had a boyfriend most of this time. one time she actually cancelled plans with a boyfriend to hang out with me and I think she was starting to fall for me too. That was about the time that I had what's known as a nervous breakdown due to ALOT of stress and lack of sleep (I was running a 500k a year business at an age that was way too young,there were other factors too but that's too long a story and kind of off topic.At any rate I didn't want her to see me like that so I just told her I had some legal troubles (which was true at the time) and that I would have to go away for a while.So I went away to the country to recover and for those six months all I could think about was her and getting back to her.When I recovered and returned she said I had abandoned her and she refused to speak to me.I had tried to call her while I was gone but she wouldn't take my calls.I was crushed that was june of 2001 and I haven't had any connection with anyone since.Only 1 or 2 dates that didn't even result in a good night kiss.Now I'm 29 and just stuck in this hopeless situation.If it was a sexual "hookup" that I wanted I've had opportunities for that and turned them down.Obviously I can't talk to the fellas about this and I don't have any female friends.So here I am posting this in the hopes that someone can tell me how to meet and form a connection with someone.I've seen alot of material on attracting women, blah blah blah. I even took my screen name from my favorite writer on the subject(sorry Style).However most of this material is geared towards sexual conquest which is not my goal.I feel like .... I mean I've even had a threesome which most guys only dream about but I feel like it's much better to make a connection and fall in love which makes it possible to MAKE LOVE which is waaaaay better than some casual sexual conquest.I mean sex is not my primary concern I just want to love someone again.Someone please offer some advice for me.
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