why would he want you to sleep with another guy and watch you? that's just not right in my eyes. I mean ya'll two should be commited to each other!

Hotmom is married and they want to sleep with other people. That is just crazy when you've made a legal commitment.

all Men like threesome but don't want to say it. They don't want you to get mad. But they do not want you to find the other guy;. They want to pick him out. And do not pick some one you both know or will see again. That could be a problem. Go on a little Cruise or vacation and do it. You will both have fun and still be happy. It not a big deal. Tell him you are doing this for him and him only. And when he wants to stop, just stop. Make sure he cums last. Let the new guy get off first. Have fun.

i dont want to be used by some other guy...thats what I consider it..if he picks a random guy that neither of us know..basically the guy is using me...and if he's using me..i'd feel trashy because i was raised not to take sex as a casual thing..its a love thing, when you love someone you share yourself as an act of love...if I let a guy, that I dont know...have something that only he and I are supposed to share, that i waited 20 years to give up...what the hell makes it so special now? he should feel special, that out of every guy ive dated HES the one I chose to give it to...and now..i waited to share it with a guy I fell in love with only to share it with everyone else? why did i wa/t..if i didn't have these morals, I sure as hell wouldn't have been a virgin before I met him...trust me, there are PLENTY of guys before him that I wanted to be with...but i didn't becuase of the fact that I didn't have those feelings there....so, whats the point now...i feel like he doesn't value it the way i do and inviting another man into the bedroom is only asking for trouble

Part of the excitment of having sex with somebody is the visual aspect of seeing and sharing that other person.

To go one step further, is to be the one in control watching you play out the sexual fantasy scene. It is called voyeurism, and I can see where it could be stimulating and in a sense dangerous. Different strokes for different folks.

You are still a very young woman. Never put yourself into a position that you are uncomfortable with.

And, remember, men love to talk. My former BF loved nothing more than to talk mostly about himself and sometimes about trying to seduce my Godson's mother down here for a threesome. What in the world would he do with two women? He had this big fantasy built up in his mind about being with the two of us. She is a great friend and played along to the extent of coming down to visit me. But, never would she be with a guy like him. She is into black guys. Both of her sons are born of African American fathers.

He was over here the other day and asked when she is coming down. Still in the back of his mind even though we broke up a long time ago and he now lives with a woman old enough to be his mother. Still not enough for him. I have told him what makes him think my GF would be interested in having sex with him, even in a threesome, now that I am HPV positive with the high risk types. He is unable to comprehend what that means.

So, talking about it to your BF may just be a sexual game that turns him on. Nothing wrong with that, but as others have said, taking the next step in another matter.

Take care.

Bobbie

I believe that the OP has the right idea....and Bobbie was right, don't go along with someone else's fantasy if you're not comfortable with it....I do see that the real problem is trying to avoid hurting your guy's feelings because he keeps going on and on about a threesome....There is no easy way to burst someone's fantasy bubble, but that's what has to be done....Just tell him that are some things that you will not do and a threesome is one....I'm not sure every man wants a threesome, but it doesn't matter....A relationship requires give and take and constant adjustments, so start setting some ground rules....If he loves you, he won't force you to do something you're uncomfortable with. If he does, then maybe he's not the one for you.

exactly..thank you, relationships are about compromise, give and receive and respect and trust...and if there were something I were interested in, that he were umcomfortable with, i love him enough that that would be ok..i'd get over it, maybe its something we could revisit later on in the future, and its not like he's nagging about it, he just likes to throw it out there randomly every now and again...see if my opinions have changed haha

i dissagree jack. i would not like a 3some at all. i like intimacy kept between me and one person. (hopefully for the rest of my life) however thats highly unlikely. but i still just want her. and no one else involved.

yeah. i would say dont do it. but i dont wanna tell you what to do.
i just know i wouldn't. pretty much no matter what. unless someone was waving like 2 million dollars in my face... i miiiiight just want to.

if you aren't comfortable, its not right. theres basic logic our mind has set for us. LISTEN TO IT!

Split from Women's chat so the guys can give their input

Alot of people have threesomes on their mind, I do as well but it just doesnt feel right, just not with two guys. Im bi and I have a tendancy to be sexually attracted to woman over men, Im just repulsed by the majority.

Anyways my point is how can we deem a normal relationship as being only two people, what is normal and how do you define it?

The only question you need to ask yourself are you comfortable with it? sometimes in a relationship you have to compromise but only if you feel comfortable. Never do anything against your will, you will hate it afterwards it always turns into amniosity.

-edited-

if he wants you to and you dont then dont do it but if you want to as well then go for it

Ok i COMPLETELY know how you feel.. My current boyfriend was my first and as a joke one night i asked him what one of his fantasties were and he said he didnt know.. and i started naming things off and threesome came up.. he said wow now thats something.. i felt HORRIBLE it was just a joke to me but he actually went out looking for other guys..(hes bi curious btw) anyways the one he found and liked made my skin crawl so i said NO way.. hes been kinda blah towards me since he dropped it but then about 6 months ago asked again finding another guy i didnt mind this one but ugh he didnt like him go figure.. But then i realized i didnt want to be with anyone else and it hurt so bad to even think about seeing him with another person so again i said no way i cant do that sorry.. Hes been the same it sucks.. but yea i know what you mean firsts are always hard and no one seems to compare.. i dont give a crap about anyone elses dicks infact i hate when guys show me i'm like so what.. its just a dick and go to thinking about my guys.. or i ignore that person sometimes.. Just dont let him pressure you into anything i was also your age when i was with my guy for the first time.. we've been together 2 years now.. so if you dont feel comfortable with it tell him he should take your feelings into account.. firsts are the most special

yea..it'll be 2 years for us in 2 weeks...i really have no interest in other guys, i mean..i look obviously..you cant not look but...i never wonder what it would be like in bed with them or w/e...it just really doesn't cross my mind or interest me...but, we always talk through it, the only time he really brings it up is when he's really excited or sometimes when he's drunk...maybe he thinks if I "loosen up" with alcohol i'll give in....noooo way...i really honestly dont believe in casual sex i'm way too emotional and dont take sharing my body lightly...hes lucky hes gettin any himself! I'm a southern baptist and was taught to wait until marriage...up until him i was doing just fine! haha

Congrats. I understand what ya mean. I look but i dont think about that either.. just want to be with him. Well if he keeps pressuring you maybe you should cut him off.. hehe i know what you mean i was doing pretty well too but something i dunno what it is but.. i wanted to be with him.

For your BF to believe you getting sauced and him too will get you in the mood is totally ridiculous. That is how people find themselves in real trouble with STD's.

I don't think there really is such a thing as casual sex. Some people may think that there is, but in the back of your mind, you are going to be wanting more than just a casual liasion.

You are a really nice girl, anyone can see that by your honest postings. Just don't let this guy sway you into a lifestyle that could change your life forever.

All of us have had a first time. Most are only that. Give yourself the time to grow into the beautiful woman that you are destined to become.

Take care,

Bobbie

I dont believe in casual sex either...i understand some people may be able to do that...but i know me...and i'm a very emotional person and i just cant simply detach love from sex..for me it goes hand in hand, its a way of showing love, and i cant just simply share that with another man that I have nothing with...

thank you roberta for your post and trust me, I'm very stubborn like my mother haha, once i've made up my mind i cannot be swayed and i understand that if he DOES love me like I love him, he wouldn't pressure me to do it...which like I said, very very rarely does he bring it up, so i guess hes fine with just me for now!

You know, i always thought that a guy would feel special to be the "first" you know...and to know that I chose him, and I haven't been with another guy, it just surprised me when he asked me to share that...you're my first and only, and you're asking me to share myself? Guys are....confusing....

men are confusing and are often times confused about what they want. They do not love in the same manner as women do. Women do love completely, body and soul when they love. For men, they detach love from sex. It sometimes becomes just sex for them. Some cannot let a woman into their hearts and souls. I know, sadly from my experience with someone I loved completely. I would have done anything for him but not the threesome thing. He too used to pester me about it. He was totally into the thing, or, at least, the idea of doing it. Would look happy as a lark and his face would light up like a Christmas tree when he talked about it.

Even after we had broken up last year, he was still asking about my GF coming down. He still had that in the back of his wee brain even though he is living with another woman who does everything for him. Maybe he should ask her.

You never forget your first time. I remember everything about it.

Stick to your guns and your BF will only respect you all the more.

Bobbie

I never really had the threesome fantasy, but there was one night when my older best friend took me out on the town to do the crawl shortly after my 21st birthday, then we went back to his place and laid into a bag of, um, extra pure hemp. My girlfriend showed up to drive me home, and she laid into the goodies too instead, and we both had to crash there. We collectively got the idea that it would be cool/fun/different/whatever to have a three-way.

It wasn't.

I never had a paternity test, and I'm 90% sure my 14 year old is really mine, but I can never be totally sure without a paternity test. She conceived right around that time, and we only had one condom, not two.

I'm not pissed at Mike about this, because we all came to the same conclusion by mutual agreement, but he and I have barely spoken five words in the past 14 years, and our relationship was never the same after that.

I think the whole thing is a really bad idea.

If you're not down with that, then definitely tell him to get over it. Feel free to tell him my story as an example of why it really seems like a horrible idea the morning after.

(And I never touched the, um, hemp again after that either.)

well i've heard many times that IF you do ever even consider looking into this DO NOT go after a friend as the third party because it would make things incredibly awkward...ESPECIALLY in my situation...my brother is my boyfriends best friend..hahaha..sooooo yea...but IF i were to ever consider it for some reason (which..theres pretty much no chance of it happening) but if it would it would be on a vacation or something where theres NO chance of accidently bumping into that person again..i've learned the world is a small place, everyone has a friend of a friend that knows someone who knows you and thats not something I would want to get around...i'm a one guy kinda girl, so..if he cant accept that then..i guess eventually we'll both have to move on..though, its been 2 years...so if it is a big deal i would think he would have moved on by now....i just dont want to settle down and 10 years from now him have some resentment towards me for not letting him have his fantasy..or even worse him cheat on me so he can have his fantasy! He's only 20, i'm 21..i think neither of us(especially me) are mature enough to handle that situation and i really feel like though he says he wont he would loose alot of respect for me

It is, and I used to travel for a living. Even when all of North America is your back yard, it's still a small place, and you wouldn't believe the stuff that can follow you around.Yup. Exactly. People can't fundamentally change who they are, and what gets their motor humming. There's some room to play around and try out each other's ideas, to fulfill each other's fantasies, but if anything ever pushes you past your limits, you shouldn't do it. Period. Ever.

In my experience, women like you are the norm, and I don't think you should worry in the slightest about not being interested in having another partner.Probably.Resentment over a long span of time really can be a problem, but the more up front you are here and now, the more likely it is that you can avoid that eventuality.That's a hard call to make until the morning after. Nobody can sort that one out except the two of you together.