I am now 29 and again still single one
girl that I have been seeing for a little
over a month but she never here out on the
road all the time and anytime I try to
express any sort of feelings to her she
pulls back. I haven't told about my lack
of experience because when I alluded to it
once she was all taken aback by it. I feel
things for her but the way she acts when I
let those feelings out makes me feel like
those feelings are wrong or out of place.
I think that part of it is that my actions
are telling her I have never been with a
woman really and she is not liking this. I
mean she has even been engaged like every
other girl I meet I have nothing to
compare it to or relate it to or anything.
I feel like worst then ever with this one,
can't go forward it seems and don't feel
like I have time to keep looking or
something. I feel like the only solution
may be for all this to end, I am just
getting to point where simple existence is
too much to deal with I can't let anyone
else know how I am feeling because then
they will know what I haven't done in my
past. This is starting to not only effect
my personal life but my work life too. I
can't find a solution to any of this other
then an end to all of it.
Its almost funny I crashed my motorcycle
about a week ago and quite honestly what
pissed me off the most was that I
survived. I really wish it had done me in
and then all this would be taken care of.
