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Think I need to get rid of him - Help!

I've been in a live-in relationship for 5 years. He moved in to help me and basically started controlling the finances and spending - vacations, lavish dinners, furniture, etc. His credit is horrible so everything was spent with my credit. He got fired from his job and so for the last 15 months hasn't been contributing to the household expenses. I've been paying off all the debts. I learned a while ago he had back child support he owes as well. He also swindled me into putting a car lease in my name due to his bad credit so the payments would be lower. He's been working and making some money but still doesn't contribute anything. All we do is fight for the past 2 years and we've never had a sex life to speak of. I'm angry and want to kick him out but he has no money plus I don't know what to do about the car as I can't afford to keep it and make the payments. Every time I tell him to go, he threatens me and says I'll know when he has gone - as if he's going to take things from my house. I feel like he's used me and has taken no responsibility for anything. What can I do?
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replied November 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Unsure what threats you speak of but if it is bodily harm then you could see about a restraining order against him. What could he take that belongs to him? From what I gathered it is all in your name & belongs to you, correct?

As far as the car is concerned, try to get out of the fleece, I mean lease...or see if it can be refinanced or do a private sell and if you can not get what is owed on it. See about getting an unsecured loan for the difference. I would rather be a few thousand dollars in debt vs the whole thing. And by letting a vehicle 'go back' will put a big dent in your credit.

Might I suggest that for your own peace of mind that you sit in on a meeting or two or even meet with a counselor who handles support groups for abused women. They are great resources as to what you need to get out of this relationship and how to do it safely.

~Zig
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replied May 2nd, 2009
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i was in a simular situation. my ex didnt have anything and he sucked everything out of me mentally, emotionally, and financially. he told me i couldnt kick him out b.
/c he gets his mail there.
buy a new lock,kick him out, call the police,do what every you have to do. he's taking to much from you & that's not the way it's suppose to be.
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