According to the data you provided, you might be experiencing bacterial or fungal infection of the vagina. The redness and soreness on the penis of your sexual partner might be caused by the infection which is transmitted to him.
You might want to visit your gynecologist and have a vaginal swab, which will determine the exact cause and treatment. It is very important that both you and your sexual partner undergo a treatment at the same period. If not, the one who did not take the treatment would transmit it back to the healed one and take you all the way to the begining.