i am sorry for your loss! my grandmother passed away last year and my daughter had just turned three. i don't know what your religious beliefs are, that is personal, but when my grandmother passed i told her that jesus took her home because she was not well here. it had helped that my grandmothers wishes were that she stay at home until everyone arrived then she was to be taken out. it helped her out to see her at home after she passed then just in the cascot. she knows that our grandmother was in alot of pain and that this was how jesus healed her. i hope this helps, i know it might not, it is not easy explaining these things to young children.

I'd suggest that you look for a children's book that you can read to him.

A Butterfly for Brittany: A Children's Book About the Death of Another Child, from a Child's Point of View by Cristine Thomas.

A Letter From Heaven by Steve Butler

I Miss You: A First Look At Death by Pat Thomas and Leslie Harker

The Next Place by Warren Hanson

These might be good places to start.

Thank you both so much for your replys. He actually took it pretty well. Asked some questions typical of a 5 year old. What makes us nervous it that right away he said "I knew he died". It turns out that to him, every time he stays a few more days at dads, that someone has died. His grandfather, his grandmother. We hadn't even picked up on it. Wow was that an awakening. We talked it over and periodicly we are going to keep them a day or two extra. Just until this fear of his goes away. : ( How sad.
Again, thank you so much for your responses. I'm going to look into those books asap.

Thanks again!!!

This must be the hardest topic to discuss with a small child. You have all my sympathy and I'm very sorry for your loss. My baby died last year shortly after birth and I really didn't know what to tell my elder son (he was four at the time). He didn't take it well at the time and got the crazy idea that it was because he was "naughty". It broke my heart. We reassured him that it had NOTHING to do with him or anything he did. We also told him that he's in heaven with Jesus because he was sick. All he wants to do now is become a doctor so that he can heal sick children. He still breaks my heart with his childish wisdom some days and frequently asks when he'll be getting a brother or sister again (working on it, with difficulty).

This book helps luke the older son (6yrs) understand what spirit is, and how Jake went to go be with Jesus. It is a wonderful story of the loved they shared until Jesus to Jake home to Heaven. By Cristine Thomas for the Liddle family in texas who lost little Jake to SIDS.

It may not be so bad too not tell him until he is older I know its easier said than done. But if it arises to were he becomes questionable on the situation tell him. It is alot easier the words you use and I know it sounds almost immpossible but try too hold your emotions, because children reaction vary even more when they see someone older reactions. I have never been in the situation but I am willing too help any way.