i posted about being only 17 and prego and
gettin married but i have a bigger
problem on my hands now. i have yet to
tell my grandmother that i am pregnant!!!
she knows i'm gettin married, and already
she says i'm destroying my life!! she
wants me to do what she wants me to do !!
not what i want to do! i want a family,
she wants me to forget about that and go
after a career in art and become a famous
artist. and shes already said if i ever
get pregnant that shes making me get an
abortion! she can't do that but i'm
worried that if i tell her and she gets
mad at me and yells and screams at me that
i will lose the baby from all the stress.
i love her very much. but with the way she
is i know it will cause a huge amount of
stress on me, HUGE AMOUNT!!!! can it make
me lose my baby ( i'm only 9 weeks)
or should i even tell her? someone help me
please!!!!
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
Thanks: 30
Thanked:15
Posted: 03-27-08 12:28pm
First, she cannot make you get an
abortion.
That's your choice, if she does not want
to be supportive in your decision, she can
kiss it...no offence, but why are you
supposed to do what she wants you to do in
order to be happy. You have a brain, you
have your own view on what is right and
what you want to do, she can just accept
that, or get on with her life.
It takes a lot more stress to make you
lose a baby. Some yelling wont do it.
Do you know how many pregnant teens are
stressed about telling their parents..it
takes loads more stress to make you
miscarry.
Do your parents know, and are they at
least supportive, if they are you should
take your mom or someone with you down
when you talk to her about it.
Your grandmother sounds selfish. And if
she cant accept your decision thats her
problem. You shouldnt stress yourself out
about her problems.
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rainstorm
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 68
Posted: 03-27-08 17:36pm
Krystine is right, lots of people feel
extreme stress while pregnant and they
don't miscarry.
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iams0prep
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 5
Posted: 03-29-08 23:16pm
Hun, she will NOT hate you. i promise you.
If she loves you now, then she'll still
love you when you tell her. TRUST ME. I
know from experience. I kept telling my
boyfriend & myself that my parents
would hate me. But,after everything was
out in the open. They didn't hate me. Yes,
they yelled. Yes, they were disappointed.
& Yes, they didn't talk to me for a
little while. BUT, all in all, it is what
it is & they will still love you.
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sarahhendrickson
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2006 Posts: 30 Location: MO
Posted: 04-11-08 09:31am
She might be upset at first but she can't
make you get an abortion, and I promise
she will come around, it is her only
choice if she wants to be involved.
Believe me, my mother in law hates me, she
threatened to kill me on more than one
occassion including when I told her we
were expecting our first. But after a
while she adjusted and now she is more
loving towards me because she knows that
if she is violent I won't let our daughter
visit her. She will come around, if my
mother in law can!
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
Thanks: 30
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-11-08 11:00am
Your the grown up in this situation right
now.
Your not a child anymore who has to listen
attentively and do what your told.
You have your own brain, and you probably
already know what decision you are going
to make.
The people around you just have to listen,
give their two cents about the situation,
and be as supportive as possible if they
love you. You also have to listen to what
their going to say, but explain what steps
you are going to take in raising this
baby.
Its a hard thing to get out in the open,
and something no parent really imagines
hearing, but your being responsible in
telling them what is going on, and your
grandmother just has to live with the
decision you choose.
She cant force you to go anyway in this
decision, she'll be upset..but like my
grandma said when she found out, "if your
happy Krystine, then im happy for you."
And now when i see her, she rubs my belly,
i showed her the ultrasound pictures, she
asks how im doing and if the baby
kicks...its a hard thing to hear at first,
but they do come around. Some people take
a longer time to adjust though because
they have how things should have been
worked out in their heads, and can't
accept how reality really is playing out
[like my mother.]
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 04-12-08 21:23pm
parents or grandparents they all get mad
or disapointed and yell and scream bt they
get over it!! my parents didnt even speak
with me for like 6-7 months of my
pregnancy!
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krystineM
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 1355 Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
Thanks: 30
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-12-08 22:02pm
wow! thats harsh.
My parents slowly are accepting my
pregnancy, although my mom seems a little
off...shes jealous of my step mom and how
my step mom does a lot of things with me
like buying me some maternity clothes,
getting my hair done, but my mom will
never admitt it. My dad is accepting it
more each day, and is alot more
understanding. And so is my grandma, but
my mom is still believing in her mind, how
things are [or were] supposed to play out.
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Altari
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 127 Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posted: 04-14-08 18:56pm
The stress won't make you miscarry. Women
still managed to give birth in
concentration camps, and I think that's a
bit more harsh on your system then telling
a cranky grandma!
My one granny wouldn't talk to me while I
was pregnant. Once the baby was here,
though, she had to see her. Eventually she
got over it. Grannies always do when there
are great-grandbabies involved.
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mvis
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 22 Location: Idaho, USA
Posted: 04-21-08 14:38pm
If you are so worried about stress. then
wait until your at least 13/14 weeks. your
chances of miscarriage go's down a lot.-