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Tell grandmother I'm pregnant

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michellep2

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Tell grandmother I'm pregnant
Posted: 03-27-08 12:20pm

i posted about being only 17 and prego and gettin married but i have a bigger problem on my hands now. i have yet to tell my grandmother that i am pregnant!!! she knows i'm gettin married, and already she says i'm destroying my life!! she wants me to do what she wants me to do !! not what i want to do! i want a family, she wants me to forget about that and go after a career in art and become a famous artist. and shes already said if i ever get pregnant that shes making me get an abortion! she can't do that but i'm worried that if i tell her and she gets mad at me and yells and screams at me that i will lose the baby from all the stress. i love her very much. but with the way she is i know it will cause a huge amount of stress on me, HUGE AMOUNT!!!! can it make me lose my baby ( i'm only 9 weeks)
or should i even tell her? someone help me please!!!!
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krystineM

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Posted: 03-27-08 12:28pm

First, she cannot make you get an abortion.
That's your choice, if she does not want to be supportive in your decision, she can kiss it...no offence, but why are you supposed to do what she wants you to do in order to be happy. You have a brain, you have your own view on what is right and what you want to do, she can just accept that, or get on with her life.
It takes a lot more stress to make you lose a baby. Some yelling wont do it.
Do you know how many pregnant teens are stressed about telling their parents..it takes loads more stress to make you miscarry.
Do your parents know, and are they at least supportive, if they are you should take your mom or someone with you down when you talk to her about it.
Your grandmother sounds selfish. And if she cant accept your decision thats her problem. You shouldnt stress yourself out about her problems.
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rainstorm

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Joined: 12 Mar 2008
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Posted: 03-27-08 17:36pm

Krystine is right, lots of people feel extreme stress while pregnant and they don't miscarry.
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iams0prep

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Joined: 29 Mar 2008
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Posted: 03-29-08 23:16pm

Hun, she will NOT hate you. i promise you. If she loves you now, then she'll still love you when you tell her. TRUST ME. I know from experience. I kept telling my boyfriend & myself that my parents would hate me. But,after everything was out in the open. They didn't hate me. Yes, they yelled. Yes, they were disappointed. & Yes, they didn't talk to me for a little while. BUT, all in all, it is what it is & they will still love you.
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sarahhendrickson

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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
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Posted: 04-11-08 09:31am

She might be upset at first but she can't make you get an abortion, and I promise she will come around, it is her only choice if she wants to be involved. Believe me, my mother in law hates me, she threatened to kill me on more than one occassion including when I told her we were expecting our first. But after a while she adjusted and now she is more loving towards me because she knows that if she is violent I won't let our daughter visit her. She will come around, if my mother in law can!
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krystineM

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Posted: 04-11-08 11:00am

Your the grown up in this situation right now.
Your not a child anymore who has to listen attentively and do what your told.
You have your own brain, and you probably already know what decision you are going to make.
The people around you just have to listen, give their two cents about the situation, and be as supportive as possible if they love you. You also have to listen to what their going to say, but explain what steps you are going to take in raising this baby.
Its a hard thing to get out in the open, and something no parent really imagines hearing, but your being responsible in telling them what is going on, and your grandmother just has to live with the decision you choose.
She cant force you to go anyway in this decision, she'll be upset..but like my grandma said when she found out, "if your happy Krystine, then im happy for you."
And now when i see her, she rubs my belly, i showed her the ultrasound pictures, she asks how im doing and if the baby kicks...its a hard thing to hear at first, but they do come around. Some people take a longer time to adjust though because they have how things should have been worked out in their heads, and can't accept how reality really is playing out [like my mother.]
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jessamyn

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Posted: 04-12-08 21:23pm

parents or grandparents they all get mad or disapointed and yell and scream bt they get over it!! my parents didnt even speak with me for like 6-7 months of my pregnancy!
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krystineM

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Posted: 04-12-08 22:02pm

wow! thats harsh.
My parents slowly are accepting my pregnancy, although my mom seems a little off...shes jealous of my step mom and how my step mom does a lot of things with me like buying me some maternity clothes, getting my hair done, but my mom will never admitt it. My dad is accepting it more each day, and is alot more understanding. And so is my grandma, but my mom is still believing in her mind, how things are [or were] supposed to play out.
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Altari

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Location: Chicago, IL USA

Posted: 04-14-08 18:56pm

The stress won't make you miscarry. Women still managed to give birth in concentration camps, and I think that's a bit more harsh on your system then telling a cranky grandma!

My one granny wouldn't talk to me while I was pregnant. Once the baby was here, though, she had to see her. Eventually she got over it. Grannies always do when there are great-grandbabies involved.
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mvis

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Joined: 18 Apr 2008
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Location: Idaho, USA

Posted: 04-21-08 14:38pm

If you are so worried about stress. then wait until your at least 13/14 weeks. your chances of miscarriage go's down a lot.-
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