I am 17 years old and i dated my ex for 4 months and he dumped me. i didnt know i was pregnant for about 4 or 5 months. when i found out in December when i wasn't with my ex anymore. I didnt tell anyone. not even my parents. i did everything by my self. i went to a friend who's stepdad is a doctor and had him do all these tests for me. at first, i didnt know i was having twins and when i lost my first baby, a girl, I named her Alba Mae. It was a still birth. My best guess is that my drinking nd being around smokers had a huge part of the cause. I decided I had to tell someone. so i told some friends and they told me I had to tell my ex. Its hard enough to tell ur ex that hates ur guts that ur pregnant but to tell them that the baby is dead, is so much worse. Then I found out that I was still pregnant with Alba's twin, a boy I named Cameron Micheal. When I told my ex (while I was still pregnant with Cameron) he called me a liar so I was left all alone. I was already having problems with Cameron, he would kick hard and I would have really bad cramps and would start bleeding like I was on my period. So I had my friend take me to see his stepdad and I lost Cameron as well. I currently have a bf who i love and it is hard to talk to him bc it happened while we frist started dating. i Just dont know how to handle this. i still feel like they are still in me and are just sleeping or whatever. A girl in my class just had a baby so everytime i see her with her baby, i keep thinking "That was supposed to be me." i miss them so much it hurts everyday and idk how to handle this. idk how to cope with this. im too young. help me please.