Hi Everyone! First of all, you are not alone in battling this horrible disorder. May it be you suffering from the ED; or the person who cares about the sufferer of ED -YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
My Boyfriend Jason (not real name) has been struggling with Bulimia for the past few months now. I clearly understand that outside circumstances and events have led to this; and somehow, despite of how we those who don't suffer this disorder perceive the world to be normal, my boyfriend and a lot like him simply don't. Some of life's punches -may it be simple or harsh, I can simply deal with it and not let the worst get out of me. But for Jason, he handles it so differently like the world is bound to come to an end. His choice of solace is to binge and purge. The one thing I admire about him is that he has always been honest about this disorder to me. The one thing that seems to gives me so much stress is his reliance on making me find the answers and help from this problem. Of course, I can never be in his shoes and suffer the way he does. I am deeply concerned and worried for everything that this disorder does to any human being. The mental anguish one goes through each day just striving to not do something we know is completely self-destructive, the psychological impact this does to those who don't suffer the disorder (simply going of our wits ends to figure out how to help those whom we love), and the numerous and endless confrontations and fights we end up having because one tends to look for the answers in you, while the other is left dumbfounded (scratching their heads) figuring out what better way to administer help when the every piece of advice and answer you give will always be the wrong one.
I simply would like to know from those who have managed to stretch their patience this far because they truly care and love the sufferer is, WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO SAY? I've read countless of books on how to have a decent dialogue, but it always ends up just backfiring back on me with me looking like the villain as I'm the one with no answers to the solutions.
Jason is just as stubborn as how the books would describe people with ED. He refuses to go through therapy cause he thinks it's a waste of money. He refuses to visit a regular physician cause he's afraid that the doctor might give him the bad news about his health and how he has managed to destroy it with this disorder. When I encourage him, all we'll end up is fighting cause he simply believes that everything I say does not matter at all. The guilt is always left on me when he says "What do you want to do? Just watch me die?" I feel like I just want to beat him black and blue right there on the spot and let him a dose of reality that what he's doing to himself and how it affects our relationship isn't worth it through his own vanity and selfishness.
What is the right thing to say? I need tips to better approach Jason; make him understand that I care -as he thinks I don't. Make him believe I love him -when all he thinks about is himself?
