This is a tough question. I end up venting to my husband about the latest event I've encountered with my grandmother or mom. I also try to remind myself that this happens as we age, it will happen to a lot of us. I've been caring for the elderly for years but it is a whole different story when it's someone in your family.
Sometimes a good cry gets me out that funk and back to reality..Does that make sense?

I wonder if it's not perhaps, the amount of time you have been doing it. You might not realise it, but it might have been just as difficult with strangers in the beginning. As you take care of your own family more frequently it would, not necesarily get easier to do, but definately easier to "handle".

My Biokineticist spoke to my about that the other day. It is sometimes very draining to her, not physically but mentall, especially with problem cases (Which now includes yours truely). She says that most of the time, she would get home and just not feel like doing anything. She struggles to explain it to her family and friends...

She had done boxing for quite a while and that used to help her a lot...but the patients is getting more as she has now gone from being an intern to a regular at the Biokineticks centre.

There is one day at the Biokineticist that I just have to share with you

Due to the marfans, I am a very tall guy and even though I am scrawny, I have a very large chest and wide shoulders, so I don't look "weak". My Biokinetecist on the other hand is a head shorter than my shoulder and has a very "petite" build. As I am lying flat on my back on the exercise matt, one of the other lady-patients walks by and goes "Oh my word! I have never seen such a huge guy being manhandled by someone of your size!".

In the moment, it was really hillarious...I think for any other guy it would have been quite embarresing but strangely enough, it didn't bother me in that way

But I think it does make sense that close family will allways upset you more than "strangers".

You should also count your self lucky, rather than embarresd by the fact that you can just sit down and cry out all those painfull feelings... It's definately doing you more good than bad

* Huge Hugs * & * Big Respect *

yeah tough question. ive gotten tired of taking care of myself in a way. i have to do it. i just dont do enough for my self ---and i should. i take care of my guys more than i do myself.

It's been a while since any replies on this topic. I haven't had much time to take care of me...in the time I have had, I've been sitting outside trying to relax.
I've been through a few deaths this past week (3 in 5 days).
To say the least it was and still is a rough time. I'm trying to stay upbeat for my grandmother, she lost her brother. now she is having an emotional time. I wish I could be there for her more. It's so hard to be in many places at once and when other family members don't help out it makes it very tough on the ones that are there.

In response Seraph's post...Thank you. It was and still is tough when I lost a client. Some of them become "family." When we spend 30 hours a week with them you really get to know them and they know you. You share stories and it is very heartwarming to know we are helping to make their final years a little more comforting.

Tmddyan...you need to take care of you also...I know I need to do the same. We all have big hearts to this type of work whether we get paid or not, it is built in us to be caregivers.

*HUGS* Butterfly.

Hope you are doing o.k. It must be really tough to lose so many in such a short time.

It's really saddening when family don't seem to care. My grandma recently collapsed so we toke her to the hospital. When an old person falls down, it usually means major trouble, so we notified the family. My aunt arrived and sat through all the tests and x-rays but when all came through clean, she went ballistic and screamed at us for "wasting her time" and then later on, she screamed and yelled at my grandma for not looking after her self. Now, my grandma has made us promise that we would never again notify my aunt of any health problems that she is having...

All of the best to you guys. You are doing a huge service to those in need!

yeah i know---i have sever tmd---ive had it all my life among other things---im tired of blendng things,shoping for things i can eat and walking out emptyhanded cause its all to hard---i just wanna be "normal" I have to go throughgreat lengths to take care of myself---im just a little tired of doing it

Seraph

Thanks for the hugs.. I'm doing OK.
Your aunt sounds like mine but my aunt wouldn't even go to the hospital, she'd say call if it's anything important. We already said if something happens they will be the last to know and some of the "family" members won't give us their numbers so they can read it in the newspaper. It's really sad things have to be this way but it's what they want.

I'm glad your grandma is OK. Keep an eye on her and keep us posted, please. Does she have any help coming to her home (nurses, homemaker or companion)? It helps to know that for a few hours someone is there to help us out.

I understand...I'm here if you need to talk.

thanks

How's everyone doing?

oh not too badly---you?

Hanging in there...

yeah me too

Hi guys
Been busy working and getting my oldest son ready for Grad.Hope everyone is well.

That's another part of caregiving..taking care of the kids...my youngest is graduating high school next month and my oldest is graduating college next week...happy and sad at the same time...does that make sense?

aflsh

How you holding up emotionally with his graduation?