I've had what I've learned is a swollen lymph node in my groin for several months. I initially thought it was an ingrown hair -- I get those a lot -- but it kept getting bigger and didn't go away, and I noticed it would swell more during my periods, so I finally went to see my gyno. He said it was probably a hydradenoma or an infection, or maybe even a pimple. So we've been checking on it every few weeks. It is generally painless, except when it is exceptionally swollen right before or during my period. The lump is about 2cm by 1cm. It's been a little over a month since I first went in, and my gyno is ready to have my lymph node removed/biopsied. He wants to see me one more time first, though. But I just received some news that makes me think I probably don't have cancer...

I started dating a gentleman about two months ago. I've known him for four years, though, and live in a small community, so I can verify his entire sexual history. We had both been tested for STDs, and had not had sex in months, so we assumed it was safe to have unprotected sex (I'm on the pill).

We broke up, but he called me a week ago to tell me that he thinks he has an STD. First the underside of his testicles started itching, then one of his lymph nodes became swollen and tender, and now one of his testicles is swollen.

It's hard for me to determine what symptoms I have. I've had vaginismus all my life, so sex is almost always painful for me. And I always have a discharge.

I am now left with several questions:

1) Back when I got tested for STDs at the sketchy free clinic, the doctor didn't perform one of the standard tests -- which one it was escapes me now -- because he said that I would definitely have symptoms of it at that point. I waited 2 months after having sex to get tested. What test do you think it was for, and could that be what's causing his and/or my symptoms?

2) The guy I was seeing went to Planned Parenthood to have himself checked out. The doctor thought he had herpes because she knew we'd both been tested for STDs, but neither of us have sores. Could it be herpes?

3) Could these potential STDs be causing the swelling in my lymph node? Or should I go ahead with the biopsy?

4) I do have some pink bumps on my skin around my bikini line, but I am fairly confident that they are just pimples/ingrown hairs. I tried googling images of herpes, but I could only find really severe examples. How can I distinguish between a Herpes lesion, another STD lesion, and a pimple? I was able to pop them, and pus came out just like a pimple. And most of them had an obvious ingrown hair in them to be plucked out.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me! I'm terrified, broke, and about to lose my health insurance indefinitely.

Thank you.