Swollen, Itchy, inflamed vagina... Help please? =(

It can definitely be the soap. The best way to wash down there is with clean water and fingers, not soap, feminine wipes, douch or sprays.

Get a small spray bottle and spray yourself after urination to stop the stinging. Then pat yourself dry.

Use an icepack covered in material ( to prevent ice burn), wear full cotton panties (not string panties), sleep without panties if it is safe, and keep yourself dry and cool.

Monitor yourself for a yeast infection or an UTI. (Google it and look at the signs). If it does not get better, speak to a doctor or nurse.

I believe I know what you are talking about... and there is a wonderful site I will post once I track it back down. I get this every so often and its like my life has to come to a stand still because its like walking with a golf ball (that's exaggerated) between my legs. It's a beeyatch. I got this the first time when i was 16 and had never been sexually active. I think it has a lot to do with hormones though. And definitely a sensitivity to certain lotions.
I read that its like a pimple in the respect that it needs to drain. Do NOT try to pop it. Soak in a warm bath without any ANY anything in it except plain clean water. A white-ish snotty secretion will slowly come out over time and that is good. but you do not want it to dry or harden on the inflamed area as it will cause massive itching. DO NOT itch or pick at it. Take a warm bath as often as possible. Put a pillow between your legs at night to keep em apart. Air, limited motion or walking, clean after peeing but keep from touching it as much as possible -- just relax and let it mellow out on its own. Usually this is a 4 day deal and then its over..... it sucks big time. Since i was 16, and now am 27, this has happened a good 8 time. Now that I just leave it alone it really gets better faster. I have 2 toddlers i gotta chase after -- life is too busy for this to happen. But it does. Remember to smile through it and chin up