I am a student , 21,Male. I had a lot of friends through high school and had a bunch of friends [5-6] through my UG. however over the last year things have really changed. I am one of the brightest students in the class, but made few wrong decisions and ended up landing a job which I really didnt like. I started brooding over it and was slightly pissed with myself and society[Its amazing how having knowledge about your field may not get you a job, but knowing someone in the field who will put in a good word for you will] One of my close friends used a recommendation, and remained sly about it and I got to know about it through some one else, and I no longer trusted him. That triggered a series of events which left me friendless and alone. Its like, people dont see me anymore. People talk to me, only when they need me to do something for me. It seems like no one really trusts me, perhaps I have done something to deserve that, Suddenly not everyone decides "lets not trust this guy" . Ill be done with my UG in 2 more months, and I just want to be done with it. However I have no clue about what Ill do after that, and wherever I go would I still remain friendless and wierd? Oh and my GF broke up with me and started getting "Friendly" with one of my friends. SO that didn't help either. Overall I just feel lonely and just go through the motions everyday. I hardly go out anymore, have no one to go with me. So I stay at home, and keep thinking about how I have no friends and how miserable my life has got in the last 12 months.
I am not sure what you can to help me, but like I said I dont have any friends. Can't share it with anyone in person[No one cares and ll listen to it] So God bless the internet.
Moving away and making a fresh start could be what you need.
If your 'friends' dessert you then they are not true friends therefore aren't worth thinking about. The same with your girlfriend. For those that only talk to you when they want something from you, dont give it to them. Tell them that you dont want to help them because they only seem to talk to you when they want something so if they dont want to get to know you properly then dont bother talking at all.
It might piss them off but they'll get over it. Only you can change the situation and stop people from taking the piss and treating you like a door matt.
Go get a haircut a new look or something and just head to the bar who cares what people think? Sometimes sitting in a bar on your own can lead to more postive things and it gets you away from your house where you sit and think about the not so good stuff. Even if you just go for a walk one evening it's something.
Exercise is good for improving your mood and keep you fit at the same time.
Thank you for the quick reply
Ill get a fresh start in a few months, but I am just worried over years I have become strange/wierd and perhaps lost qualities of making friends. I have been told am funny and good to hang around with but seem to have trouble making true friends.
And about people talking to me only when they need stuff, I didn't really mean it in a wrong way. I mean we all have gone upto an acquaintance with whom we hadn't talked much before or after and asked for a small help.
So I can't really say NO. It's just that at the moment everyone just seems to be an acquaintance who ll come up with their own agenda.
I will get that new haircut, perhaps it ll help me get a new perception
i do have the same issue just like yours. you know i have felt better after reading your words. i have felt that some on in the world share me the same issue and express it in the same words. but i am still lonely, no friends, i go out alone, i don't have a boy friend and when i had they asked me to change my character because i am strange and weird. i express my faults directly and that is the thing that makes me strange. i see that life is very short and i shall do any thing i want now because there might be no time for doing the same faults in the future. i am 2o years old and female in Egypt, in such country, there is a big difference between boy and girl. if i expressed my desire to go a night club, that will make me a bad character. i do have the way of thinking in the European culture but in am living in Arabian culture. And, that makes me strange and not accepted easily by any one here.
Hey I am a 21 year old female. I am married and have been in the Marine Corps but now that I am out I have noticed that living here where my husband is stationed I do not have but 3 friends that live in my home town- not where I am at. I find myself often very depressed and shut off from the world. I miss haveing things to do with friends and it is messing with my head very bad- I am afraid that my social skills have gone down greatly and my head is so messed up from the lack of socialness except for with my husband and phone calls to the three friends I do still have at home. I fear for myself and sanity-
Go on line and find some social clubs in the area. Attend social events either by yourself or with your husband. Make some friends that you can meet up with and get to know so you dont become too isolated and depressed.