Successful Bipolar BPD Relationship Advice

This is my first post and I thought I'd give back to the community with some helpful advice I've learned over the past year.

I've been dating a person with BPD for over 6 months now and I would never even know what BPD or bi-polar was without dating this person, NOR would I be the much stronger, more confident person that I am today.

I see the same common story all over the internet: person with bipolar/bpd is treating you wonderfully one day, then you wake up and BAM they're a completely different person.

I've been through it as well.

Now I know BPD and bipolar are different. BPD is like bipolar on steroids. Where a bipolar person might leave every 4 weeks or so, a BPD person could leave every other day. Anywho, the advice I have is for both and I hope it works for you. Just note that if you're dating a BPD like I am, you had better be a strong dude. And if you're not, get strong quick as I had to (which is a good thing).

There's a reason why you don't hear about people writing about their successful bipolar/bpd relationships. Obviously, there ARE successful relationships out there. The guys/girls that "get it" don't even think about coming to a forum for help.

Luckily, I have a friend that has dated multiple bipolar/bpd women and he's enlightened me. And now my relationship is better than ever. So this is what I want you all to do:

The next time you're with your partner and they grow distant/cold/give you that speech about how you guys can't be together anymore, just do a simple "Okay that's cool" and leave. LEAVE. Just go.

Don't sit around and try to figure out what the heck happened - just get up and leave.

If they text you about how they want a break or whatever, just reply with "k"
THAT'S IT! short and sweet, nothing more.

Now - expect your partner to GET MAD. Seriously. When I first started doing this, my gf got MAD. She started texting me about how much she hates me and how I'm a huge douchebag. Don't panic and DO NOT react. When I get those texts, I reply with something simple like "nice." or "very mature." something along those lines.

DO NOT get emotional and start saying things like "I think we're great together..." or anything like that. These people have an ILLNESS and this is simply what happens. The BEST way to treat it is to GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT. We are NOT their Hero. They simply need a break and the best thing to do is DISAPPEAR.

Do not text, do not call, do not message, do not email, etc. do not CONTACT them at all until they contact you. And when they do, make them WORK FOR YOU. Do not bow down when they try to get you back. For example, I ALWAYS make my gf drive to MY HOUSE when she comes around. It's usually pretty rare for her to leave these days because she knows I can leave her... if you're getting all emotional when she leaves and needy, you're only making the situation worse...

Ok, I want you all to TRY THIS next time and report your results here. It can take a few days, sometimes a week for them to come back to you at first. But the more you show that you're willing to leave and willing to MOVE ON, the LESS they leave. People with bibolar/BPD cannot have normal relationships. They are ill. The normal relationship is actually painful for them as they were raised in broken homes (usually).

Therefore, if you're willing to have a relationship with someone that doesn't know what love really is nor what a real relationship should be like, you need to know that you're going to have to be able to walk away. You already know that bipolar/BPD people are pretty much always on the extreme when it comes to their feelings - they either extremely love you (which is why we stick around) or they extremely want to break up. So when they're on the negative extreme as I call it, just leave. Deep down, they simply NEED TO KNOW that you WILL leave if they give you crap.

By letting them know that you're willing to leave, it actually MAKES YOU LOOK BETTER because it shows you're a strong dude that's not dependent on them, as well as making you look like a desirable person.

I know it doesn't really make much sense right? Well guess what - you're dating a person that's wired differently than you and has a completely different view on relationships. If you can't handle it/accept it, date someone else :)

There will always be tough times and in order to PROVE your worth, you MUST walk away. It validates their beliefs by letting her know that YOU ARE STRONG and WILLING TO LEAVE. This shows STRENGTH which is what THEY NEED. Hopefully it's starting to click for you.

'Normal' people don't need this validation because they were raised in a healthy environment. They don't need to play games. People with BPD, however, were usually abused and raised in broken homes. They deep down NEED the STRONGEST man out there to be with them (usually due to the fact that they had a poor relationship with their father therefore they have trust issues with men). And by leaving, you are proving that YOU'RE STRONG. And in the end, that's what wins.

It IS confusing because you about their fear of abandonment and such right? So you might say to yourself, "If I leave, I'm abandoning her!" It looks like that on the outside. But think INTERNALLY. She needs to KNOW that you are STRONG. Strong, confident men DON'T stand around and take abuse. It shows you're weak. By leaving, it shows you VALUE yourself and aren't going to take her crap. You simply say something like "Look, I love you but I'm not going to be around you until you cool down. Peace." And LEAVE!

So don't get bitter towards your bi-polar/BPD girlfriend when she grows distant. This is simply how they're wired and brought up. You CANNOT change people. You ARE NOT a hero. Your role as a man is to be their EMOTIONAL ROCK and you do this by PROVING YOUR STRENGTH and one of the BEST ways to prove this is by being firm and the willingness to leave when times get tough.

Give it a go and I hope this helps you all out!