Hi Chris,

It seems that you guys are going thru alot of changes. Change is often difficult for people to accept or to deal with, and stress can manifest itself as illness or emotional problems. Also, keep in mind that we all carry around alot of baggage from our past - resentments or fears that left unresolved can come back to haunt us when we something brings them back to the surface.

There are many ways to clear yourself of this, usually by some introspection or meditation. However, if a person is not willing to seek change there may be little than you can do to force them to recoconcile with their past.

What do you guys do in your free time? Does she have interests outside of work? Does she get enough rest, spend time in nature?

Daniel

Thanks Daniel.

I don't think she has anything in her past to be concerned about unless she has not told me about it.

In our free time we generally don't do too much outside of the house other than going shopping, gardening, visiting friends and family, drinking on a weekend, etc I think we could both do with a holiday but she would rather fit a new kitchen...lol. Before we bought the house we used to holiday twice a year which for me is a little depressing but doesn't seem to bother her.

We also have a little kitten that takes up a bit of our time at the moment but she enjoys spending time playing with it.

To be honest regarding rest she is pretty lazy sometimes. She will make dinner on a night but after that she will go on facebook for a few hours and watch soaps. I generally do the pots, tidy up, sort clothes washing out, decorating, etc.

I do agree that she could probably do with a hobby of some kind, maybe she is just bored. I think she is bored of her job as legal secretary and wants to do something totally different like photography or something creative.

She is the type of person that has no patience and wants everything now. She also had a bad experience of her dad being a drunk and causing troube for her mother but this was years ago and she doesn't see him anymore, she has 2 sisters and 3 brothers so she is not alone and has plenty of friends.
I think this has resulted in her being very untrusting and independant, which means that talking to her about things takes a while to the point at which she will sometimes break down in tears before she tells me. It makes me annoyed that she does keep things inside but I tend to try and not show my annoyance and stay calm with her.

I think in our case it is a multitude of things, I just want to find the major causes and try and work on them for her sake as she is reluctant to want to do anything about it.

Thanks

Chris

Does anyone have anything further to add to my post above?

Thanks

Chris