Hiya, I had my gall bladder removed on 17th June 2009 and an ERCP to remove a stone left in my bile duct on 24th June 2009. I have since been back to hospital twice due to on-going pains still. I don't seem to be recovering. However I have been in a relationship which has just ended this week. It has been a very stressful relationship as my ex-partner was extremely jealous and abusive at times calling me names non stop. I was told by her that I was to blame for how she treated me because, there were a few times during our relationship that I lied. She asks a lot of questions regarding my past i.e. people within my past. We have argued a lot about my past with her calling me insulting names over it, which has put me down. Therefore I lied only to avoid an argument because I felt under pressure. I never actually wanted to lie or had anything to hide. The things I lied about were stupid. For example she has an issue regarding men therefore I stated that I could not tell the difference if a guy was good looking or not. I just wanted to avoid an argument and for us to be ok. Therefore she says if I hadn't of lied to her those few times; even though it was stupid things they were still lies. She stated if it weren't for me doing that she wouldn't be abusive and call me, and it's my fault. I have had this continually for nearly 2 years and then I fell ill with my gall bladder. We have just ended because, I cannot physically or mentally cope anymore. I came out of hospital and we ended up arguing which made me more ill and I ended up back in hospital. I am not recovering at all. Now I am being told I don't care and never loved her. I cannot cope anymore. She cannot see how things have affected me. I understand my actions and behavior contributed to her mistrust in me but, I have really tried to make her see she can trust me. I always have made sure I do anything she needs and try never to say no. I have just always wanted to prove that I can be trusted. I have always had to watch what I say in case I trigger an argument. I have avoided seeing my family or texting my friends because, I either got asked detail for detail what was said, or she would check my phone. She does not like my family because they have commented in the past regarding the way we argue. She has said she does not ever want to see them again and has called them endlessly which, has upsetted me a lot. They were only looking out for me because, they love me. I am at the end of my limit of coping. Could all this stress have triggered my gall bladder problems?
If any one can provide advice that would be great. Thanks
I'm not a dr. but I believe stress can certainly play a role in the symptoms of GB disease. I have a high stress job and my symptoms really appeared at their worst when I was under the most stress.....so I do think it does.
Some stress is unavoidable, yours sounds like something that can be avoided if you choose to. Having positive influence people in your life would be a good start.
Sorry to hear that you are going thru all of this...I also had a X that was exactly the same way...its control...this person in your life is very insecure and controlling...it actually makes me angry to hear the way that she is treating you..I understand why you lied because so did I for the exact same reason..Nothing you can do will make it better..its now a weapon for her to use against you...take care of yourself!!! She is not going to take care of you so you MUST do it yourself...This is YOUR LIFE and YOUR HEALTH!!! as the previous poster stated "Having positive influence people in your life is a good start" Surround yourself with Positive people..not someone who is trying to tear you down...Good Luck
Thank you so much for your replys. I just hope that I now start to recover. We have broken up now, I'm not doing that great but, I guess possibly one day I will see the light. I have a arranged for counselling. I did do it once before but, my girlfriend was not too comfortable me talking about our relationship therefore I just decided to not go back. I will stick at it this though.
The strangest thing is I don't understand why I miss her so much. My family are being really supportive. However whenever they are around I am constantly putting on a brave face. They have been upset to the point of tears seeing how everything is affecting me. I don't wanna hurt or upset anyone anymore. I just wait until everyone is gone until I let my emotions flow. I don't want to rub my negative behaviour on them too. It's not fair, they have seen me up and down constantly for a while now.
I still feel like I am to blame for our relationship, maybe with counselling that will change, after it gets drummed into my skull!! I just wish I had never lied, I keep thinking what if that...what if this.....I dunno.
Thank you so so much for your replys. It really brings me to tears that I am hearing that I am not crazy or a bad person. I have been believing I am for so long and that I to blame for everything and that I deserved it. I just want my girlfriend well ex (I still have to get used to that) to be happy.
You have fallen into the mindset that she has been trying to have you fall into...when you talk to your counselor (which is a great idea) they will explain that she is "abusive" to you...remember you dont have to be physically hit to be abused...she keeps you or wants you to stay away from your family and friends..isolation...that is one sign of an abuser...please hang in there and stick with the counseling..and beware that your X will try just about anything to make you blame yourself..she will say anything and do anything...please dont fall for it...the lie you told was not a deal breaker by any means...it was a perfect Weapon to be used against you to keep you down...let it go and forgive yourself and take care of your health...plz plz plz do seek counseling and keep going...of course your going to miss her...you love her..what you dont understand yet is that her love is not a healthy love..you will see that eventually...just take it one day at a time..one minute at a time if you have to..dont take her calls and dont call her...and crying is ok..its actually good to release it...a good cry can make you feel emotionally alot better..plz dont try to self medicate with drugs/alchol or even a presciption...it will make it worse...take care of yourself ...love yourself and be your own best friend right now...let your family help you...they want whats best for you...and most of all QUIT blaming yourself!!!! start a journal ...simply write down how you feel at any given moment...it really does help...let it out...someday you will look back on it and be amazed how far you have come...ow and one more thing- dont wonder what if ...there is no logic in her behavior and you will never get your answer...of what if..so dont torture yourself..