I'm going to give you my whole story cause I need to let it out. My name is Paul and I've takin pain medicine for the last 6 or 7 years. It used to be just Codeine Aspirins when I was younger. Then I got in a car accident a few years ago and my addictions have spiraled out of control and I'm afraid I'm going to OD one of these days. I have constant back pain but I'm not sure if its the pain killers or the accident that is currently causing the pain. I took Vicodens for the 1st year and have been battleing to stay off of them ever since. I have a history of depression (I've been taking Cybalta for it for 4 years) and anxiety problems (I've been taking Zanax for 2 years). I haven't taken any Vicodens for a few weeks now. I tried taking Tramadols instead of Vicodens cause they're not as strong but I found myself taking 12-14 of them a day so I figured I should try another pain med. Here is what I currently take every single day - 6 or 7 650 MG Darvocets, 1 Cymbalta, 4 or 5 750 MG Methocarbamol's (a muscle relaxor), 1 or 2 Zanax's, and 1 Flexeril 10 MG so I can go to bed at night. I also take Nexium cause my stomach's messed up from taking all of this crap. I have severe back pain all the time now even when I'm taking all of this medicine. In the last few weeks I've been getting really nervous that I'm going to accidentaly OD but I don't know how to stop. I've taken some kind of pain killer everyday for the past 7 years. I've tried stopping at least 5 or 6 times but never make it more than a few days. I've talked to my doctor about how I didn't want to take the Vicodens anymore so he gave me a prescription for the Tramadols. Those never got rid of the pain so I've been taking a mixture of muscle relaxors and Darvocet's everyday to numb the pain. I really, truly want and need to stop before something bad happens. This morning I missed my Godson's 3rd birthday cause I was uncontrollably crying all morning and didn't want to cry in front of my family. I have lost my relationship with my parents cause of my addiction and I am not there to see my neice and nephew grow up because I stay in my apartment and take pills every second I'm not at work. I can't go into detox or rehab cause I can't miss any work cause I used up all of my sick and vacation time for the car accident. I NEED to stop but dont' know how or what my next step should be. Please help me. I need someone to talk to about this but have no one I can. Thank You.