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still friendless (Page 1)

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I haven't had any friends over 10yrs since my last friends betrayed me. I get real bitter whenever I see a group of friends laughing & talking glance so I go elsewhere to be by myself. I don't know how to make new friends. I'm not very good at making conversation Confused & I hate going places by myself. I don't think I can go on like this, I'll have to find a way to put myself out of my mysery..sad2
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First Helper xxxlauraaxxx
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replied December 4th, 2008
I've been betrayed by my friends too!
Dear Lonely Daisy,
It sounds like you have been betrayed liked I was. Now I don't have any so called best friend because I had given so many years to friends that now seem like wasted time. Now I'm very careful about who I can trust and I don't want to love a friend and get hurt again. Life isn't very easy without a girlfriend that you can tell just about everything to. My life sucks also. It makes me really sad to see girls laughing and having a great time together when I can't do the same anymore. I'll write again to see how your doing. Do you have any sisters?
Samrella
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replied December 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
you cant really force friends..some people just click..id suggest getting involved in an activity you enjoy, maybe join the gym and join a fitness group you'll get in shape AND make friends or get involved in some sort of sport or club...its all up to you, if you sit around by yourself then nothing will change..you have to make the effort at least..
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replied December 4th, 2008
Re: I've been betrayed by my friends too!
worrywart01 wrote:
you cant really force friends..some people just click..id suggest getting involved in an activity you enjoy, maybe join the gym and join a fitness group you'll get in shape AND make friends or get involved in some sort of sport or club...its all up to you, if you sit around by yourself then nothing will change..you have to make the effort at least..
I don't know how to make new friends. I'm not very good at making conversation Confused

samrella wrote:
Now I'm very careful about who I can trust and I don't want to love a friend and get hurt again. Life isn't very easy without a girlfriend that you can tell just about everything to. My life sucks also. It makes me really sad to see girls laughing and having a great time together when I can't do the same anymore. I'll write again to see how your doing. Do you have any sisters?
Samrella
I also feel that I can't trust anyone anymore b/c I'm also affraid of getting hurt again. Being backstabbed by friends caused me to suffered from depression, I had to take meds to keep from having a nervous breakdown. I'm not very close with my family. I think it's boring going places with them, I rather go places alone. If you like to continue writing to me you can send me PM.
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replied December 4th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
i too am very shy at first when it comes to meeting new people..its also hard for me to just go up to some random person and just start talking..thats why i suggested you find something you enjoy that way you have some sort of common ground...that makes it much easier
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replied May 26th, 2011
Hey that sounds like me, can i give you my umber so that i can actually have 1 friend....
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replied May 27th, 2011
Wow-amzaing how this is wht's posted when this is my #1 issue right now. Sad too.
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replied December 10th, 2008
Well, I suggest you to practice a conversation with the mirror, maybe it helps you to open your conversation and to be more self-confident, it helps people to improve their dialogue.

I agree with worrywart01, you should go to a club or to a theater group so you will meet more people. You must make an efford, it´s the only way to make friends.

Think about things you like, or about a hobbie or the music you like, writting in a forum about that may help you.

Please, be patient, you must find the reason why you don´t have friends, There must be something you can change to be more friendly.


Good luck!!! I hope I gave you any useful ideas Wink
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replied December 10th, 2008
hiuthere wrote:
Well, I suggest you to practice a conversation with the mirror, maybe it helps you to open your conversation and to be more self-confident, it helps people to improve their dialogue.
That's REALLY hillarious, suggestions?!

hiuthere wrote:
I agree with worrywart01, you should go to a club or to a theater group so you will meet more people. You must make an efford, it´s the only way to make friends.
If I had every dollar for hearing that B.S. I'd be rich!
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replied December 10th, 2008
Hi Daisy,
I was just wondering with all the online meeting places if there is something we both could find in our home towns? Maybe there's a friends website forum or something. I live in Massachusetts( southshore, close to Plymouth, mass.) So, Friday is my last day at one of my jobs. The reason I have to leave is my boss pushes too much work on me without any raise. The place is a dirty, roof is constantly leaking on my head. A mess of a building, anyway so I won't miss it. And the girls that work there are in their middle twenties. I feel more like a mother figure for them instead of a friend. Especially wanting to go out after work. I think I would put a damper on the men they would want to meet. Not that I'm ugly just older(45). I watch two boys, 3 and 5 years old during the morning hours so that keeps me busy.I hate not having any friends to celebrate the holidays with. I've been married for 15 years and finding that I should have waited longer then 10 months of knowing him to decide to marry him. He's a great guy but he's 12 years older than me and He's starting to get on my nerves more often now that he scared away the friends I had years ago. He once said when you get married you don't need girlfriends. I think you need friends more as you get older. So it sounds like depression is very common these days. I've been off and on(off now)depression meds for years because of chronic pain and sadness. What part pf New York do you live?
Gotta go cook, I'll chat with you later,
Sandy
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replied December 10th, 2008
Really dumb mirror suggestion
Talking to yourself in the mirror. That's really funny. I needed a good laugh today and that took the prize.I just want to chat with people that are going threw the same friendless life we have. Not people that have talked to themselves in the mirror and it made them feel better about themselves. That's when you really start talking to yourself and don't get any answers. I think we'll both be alright Daisy.Hopefully in the near future we will meet our next new friend that we can try to trust and just enjoy each others company. I was wondering if you have G mail. If you do we can chat in real time.
We'll chat soon,
Sandy
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Users who thank samrella for this post: LonelyDaisy 

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replied December 10th, 2008
Re: Really dumb mirror suggestion
samrella wrote:
Talking to yourself in the mirror. That's really funny. I needed a good laugh today and that took the prize.I just want to chat with people that are going threw the same friendless life we have. Not people that have talked to themselves in the mirror and it made them feel better about themselves. That's when you really start talking to yourself and don't get any answers. I think we'll both be alright Daisy.Hopefully in the near future we will meet our next new friend that we can try to trust and just enjoy each others company. I was wondering if you have G mail. If you do we can chat in real time.
We'll chat soon,
Sandy


I just wrote that response out of anger b/c I've been nice to people especially my former friends and they treat me like crap, and whenever I try to talk to people I get rejected. One time in one of the social places I went to, I was trying to make conversation with this women b/c she was sitting by herself and she gave me a dirty look, then I overheard her talking about me to someone else. I was so embarrassed Embarassed that I walked out and was crying on the way home.. Ever since then I was affraid to approach people and talk. This is why I get so bitter and angry even if it means I'll never make new friends. It's hard to recover from what I'm going through. Your response made me feel a lot better. It wouldn't have worked anyway if I practice in front of a mirror b/c I sound very stupid.. That's Y I said the mirror idea is dumb.. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings here with that remark. Crying or Very sad
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replied December 10th, 2008
Experienced User
Do you work?? I know at my job I have met tons of friends!
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replied December 10th, 2008
No harm meant either
I don't think it hurt anyone's feelings. Maybe we all have tried different things and aproaches toward helping people. And sometimes have to laugh at things that seem serious to some but silly to us. Different personalities make the world crazy I guess. I didn't mean any harm either. It just made me laugh. I try to laugh daily if I can find something funny. It does make me feel a little better. When you deal with chronic pain and depression like I do, you search for distractions each day.
Have a good night!
Samrella
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replied December 10th, 2008
Experienced User
in order to HAVE a friend, you first have to BE a friend. i think where you're going wrong is that you are expecting someone to be your friend without you making any effort to be a friend to them.

if you don't socialize in any way, you can't expect to make friends. if you don't talk to ppl or engage them in any way, they will never be close enough to you to be your friend.

relationships take effort and work. i have been hurt by many friends. perhaps dozens...but i have a few REALLY good friends who wouldn''t stab me in the back ever! now even though i say that, those great friends may let me down from time to time. i've let them down too...although neither was on purpose.

when you're a friend, you have to forgive your friends inperfections. you have to accept them with the flaws they have. there are no perfect friends.

there's a poem...it goes like this...

Friendship

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible
comfort of feeling safe with a person
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words - but pouring them
All right out - just as they are -
Chaff and grain together -
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them -
Keep what is worth keeping -
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.

it's by Dinah Maria Craik

it demonstrates that noone is perfect...but a friend has the grace to allow YOU your faults as you allow them theirs. in order to receive the love from someone, sometimes you have to first - show the love to them.

jasmine
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replied December 11th, 2008
Jazzy77 wrote:
in order to HAVE a friend, you first have to BE a friend. i think where you're going wrong is that you are expecting someone to be your friend without you making any effort to be a friend to them.

if you don't socialize in any way, you can't expect to make friends. if you don't talk to ppl or engage them in any way, they will never be close enough to you to be your friend.

jasmine

OH MY GOD, How many times I got to hear this crap coverears, after I finish explaining how I was being nice to people and try to make friends!! \mg:16fed31360]
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replied December 11th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
People are going to talk about you..this is something you're just going to have to learn to ignore..I had a girl that I'd been friends with for 6 years talk about me behind my back..it took me 6 years to realize what kind of person she REALLY was...the kind that would do/say anything behind your back to become friends with someone else and then come up to you with a smile wondering how you've been..FAKE...just be true to yourself please for one thing, fake people dont keep friends for long..needless to say I dont talk to her anymore...i'm sure you'll find someone you can hang with..good friends are hard to come by..i've learned that..
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replied December 11th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
well..fantastic i'm glad we could help dear Rolling Eyes

we have ALL been nice to you...you are the one getting upset and laughing at everyone...take a look in the mirror and ask yourself why you dont have any friends...why dont you reread a few of your posts and maybe you'll understand..sorry..i've tried to help idk what else to tell you..clearly you dont care anymore anyway
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replied January 1st, 2009
You're calling everyone pathetic and insulting their help.

No wonder you're friendless.

and please save your "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE" cause I have been through worse cases than you when i was young and I survived.

How about you take a nice big cup of "Shut the F up" and listen to what people have to say.

They are here to help you!!!
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replied January 1st, 2009
Experienced User
Jazzy77 wrote:
in order to HAVE a friend, you first have to BE a friend. i think where you're going wrong is that you are expecting someone to be your friend without you making any effort to be a friend to them.

if you don't socialize in any way, you can't expect to make friends. if you don't talk to ppl or engage them in any way, they will never be close enough to you to be your friend.

relationships take effort and work. i have been hurt by many friends. perhaps dozens...but i have a few REALLY good friends who wouldn''t stab me in the back ever! now even though i say that, those great friends may let me down from time to time. i've let them down too...although neither was on purpose.

when you're a friend, you have to forgive your friends inperfections. you have to accept them with the flaws they have. there are no perfect friends.

there's a poem...it goes like this...

Friendship

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible
comfort of feeling safe with a person
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words - but pouring them
All right out - just as they are -
Chaff and grain together -
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them -
Keep what is worth keeping -
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.

it's by Dinah Maria Craik

it demonstrates that noone is perfect...but a friend has the grace to allow YOU your faults as you allow them theirs. in order to receive the love from someone, sometimes you have to first - show the love to them.

jasmine


i have friends who love me and accept me for who i am! i love them, and i'm very happy with those relationships. the difference between the original poster and myself (and the others on here who have attempted to offer helpful heartful advice) is that i (we) didn't come on here whining about not being able to make friends.

if that makes me a pathetic person, then i can accept being pathetic...and i'll contemplate my pathetic-ness all the way over to my BEST friends' house!
jasmine
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replied January 2nd, 2009
Jazzy 0wned daisy xD!

thats why she needs to take a nice big cup of shut the f up. She wont listen to anyone and keeps insulting, even thou we are just trying to help.

to be honest, the one being pathetic over her is daisy. She came on here whining about her problems, we tried to help and all she is doing is insulting. In the end she just wanted some attention.

this forum is for people with actual depression. Not emo problems like yours. Go write a diary or something and slit urself while doing it.
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replied January 2nd, 2009
Experienced User
Re: still friendless
LonelyDaisy wrote:
I haven't had any friends over 10yrs since my last friends betrayed me. I get real bitter whenever I see a group of friends laughing & talking glance so I go elsewhere to be by myself. I don't know how to make new friends. I'm not very good at making conversation Confused & I hate going places by myself. I don't think I can go on like this, I'll have to find a way to put myself out of my mysery..sad2


i'll be your friend if you want. i'm a good friend...a fine friend. very pleasant and loving.
your choice. in my world one never has enough friends.
let me know.
jasmine
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