Virginity is just as much about how you feel emotionally and mentally as it is a physical thing. If you believe you lost your virginity from that experience, then you did. If his penis went in, then it would be more cut-and-dry. At this point, it's up to you and how you feel.

It doesn't sound like you are ready for all of this. That's okay. Just because your boyfriend is ready doesn't mean you have to be. If he doesn't understand that, then he isn't the guy for you. I know it's easy for me to say that, but it is true.

Also, whether you believe you lost your virginity or not, it doesn't mean you have to do anything you aren't ready for. Even if you did go all the way, that doesn't mean that you don't still have the right to decide if you want to again.

Sit down and really think about what you want and if this is the guy you want to lose your virginity to, either now or in the future. Maybe you do love him and want to be close with him in that way, but now doesn't have to be the time if you aren't ready.

When you do decide you're ready, make sure you protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs by using a condom *every time* you have sex. I don't want to see you back here in a couple of months with a "missed period" question. So please, use protection every time. Sex is complicated enough early on without worrying about pregnancy and STDs.

I hope this helps. Just do some thinking and decide for yourself what you want. Write back if you need anything else. I wish you all the best.

if he tried to put it inside and it was too tight to do so. then you are still a virgin. some people believe if you participate in any sex act (oral sex) that means your not a virgin any more. but you can honestly say that you had no penile penetration.