step-daughter hates im pregnant

hello (again) all! im 8 weeks pregnant and have so much negativity around me that i feel like im might go insane or break down or both. my parents arent currently speaking to me because im not married. for the record, im 27 years old (will be 28 when the baby arrives), have always held down a job, never asked them for anything, have been in a loving, supportive relationship for quite some time with a really good man with whom im purchasing a house (we have lived together for right at a year but dated way before we 'shacked up'. as if that wasnt enough, my boyfriends daughter, shes 9, whom i sincerely love and adore hates that im pregnant. her mother (my boyfriends ex-wife) called my boyfriend yesterday morning and told him that he needs to spend more one on one time with his daughter. i completly agree with that. i would NEVER EVER EVER want her to feel like she is 2nd best or to feel jealous of her fathers attention. but on the other hand, im pretty upset (though i havent said anything about it) by the fact that his exwife was the one that called him. that she was the one to tell him all this and to top it off, she also told him that his daughter is afraid that he is going to somewhat ignore her in favor of me because of what im going through. i havent said anything to anyone about this. i just dont know how i should react. he knows and his daughter knows that i care very much for the both of them and it would make so so so happy if she were close with her little brother or sister. i just dont know what to do. could this just be the old ex wife mind game? ive never had a problem with her before. and regardless of my feelings of what she said, how do i handle his daughter? how can i make her feel that her place in this family is solid and the love that is felt by her father and/or myself will NOT be lessend by the new edition? im so happy at the thought of having a little one and all the love and joy and craziness that comes with motherhood but i am freaking the "F" out right now on how to deal with all the pressure!!