staring at razor blades and safety pins, moms knives?.

This sounds horrible, even to me. But I've been staring at razor blades and saftly pins, and my moms knives. My parents always baby my 10 year old brother, they don't care about me, I'm telling you. They haven't been to one of my swim meets, when they make it to every one of my brothers, and he gets whatever he wants. Also, my dad abuses my mom. He's went to jail for it. My dad gets in my face, and I feel so scared, like I'm next. My mom doesn't do crap when my dad drags her around, but I do! And one of my best friends and boyfriend are dating, and I feel like smacking them to shut them both up, I don't feel like swimming anymore, I dread going home, I don't have hardly anyone to talk to. I thought of going to a cousler, but I cry thinking about it because she'll tell the police about my parents, or she'll call them, and there going to think I'm crazy! I've wanted to cut myself over and over again... But I'm a good student. Straight A's, advanced classes, I do all kinds of sports, plen