The wives stand their to show they believe in their husbands, a show of solidarity, whether it is real or not. I agree, it is sick. I don't think I could do that.

I looked it up:

“When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,� the popular psychologist and radio personality said."

“The cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving,� Schlessinger replied. “But, yes, I hold women responsible for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.�



Maybe Gov. Sptizer's wife is in shock? This just happened. I would be in a state of confusion and distress.

well, they guy who had the homosexual affair, can't remember his name but his wife was on oprah, she said the same thing; she was in shock at first and wasn't sure how to react. after she got over it, she kicked him to the curb and wrote a book about it.

i think attitudes like "dr. laura's" are just sick because if women want to stay in the relationship after he has cheated she is viewed either as weak (because of such a view) or as having some kind of alternative agenda like money or power.

It's as if women aren't entitled to their own happiness.

Sooo true.. Most men and women cheat for a reason, and it is usually because what they had when they met goes away and they look for it else where. Men and women both tend to lighten up on their affection, praise and all the nice things they did in the beginning of the relationship.

I'm not saying cheating is right. But we all need certain things to make us content. And I can see why it happens.

if someone is a cheater it is not because the other person "lightened up" on their praise. in my opinion you're either a cheater or you aren't. you either respond to problems in your marriage by cheating or you don't. if the problem can't be fixed then you part ways so that you can be with another person in a honest way. if the problems can be fixed then you work on them. you don't just turn to someone else and betray the person you are supposed to be committed to because they are not as nice to you as they were when you were newlyweds. if you want or need to be with another person then be honest about it and end your relationship first don't sneak around then act sorry and say "oh yeah you weren't being nice to me anymore so it's kind of your fault too." that's not how adults are supposed to act and it's not how a marriage/committed relationship is supposed to work.

Dr. Laura makes men sound like spoiled, needy little brats that need a servant rather than a partner to function. An adult does not require 24/7 attention bordering on servitude to feel valued...at least, not a stable adult. If men are cheating because they aren't getting 0 of their wives' attention at all times, they are the ones with the problem. Catering to the selfishness of the childish ones just sets back our progress in treating women with equal respect and dignity.

What if the woman had cheated in this case? What if she slept with a male prostitute? Would the man be looked down upon if he stood by her? I'm not to sure of the answer to that, but I can bet that the husband wouldn't be the topic of conversation like Spizer's wife is here. Such a double standard.

I personally think that many people enter into relationships without a clue of what they are doing.

I’m not saying it is ok to cheat and of course men and women should talk things out and try to work out problems, But sometimes men and women try and tell their spouse things are going south and they refuse to listen or change. I don’t think either should ever cheat. I’m just saying I can see why some do. The person they married changes. Doesn’t want to do the things that made them attracted to them in the first place. Gains lots of weight, takes up bad habits. They are not reason to cheat. But I can see why some would.

What goes into making a relationship work? What goes on behind closed doors, goes on behind closed doors. Who of us can say?

Nobody gets married or goes into a relationship to hold the other person's hand 24/7. You go into a relationship, for goodness sakes, at least be grown up enough to give the other person some space here. Nobody is going to make you 100% happy all the time.

First of all, you have to have some peace and happiness within yourself. If you are in such need yourself, how are you able to give to anybody else but yourself?

Cheating? Wanting to be with someone who will listen to you? It really boils down to the fact that you are just plain not happy. What do politicians and wealthy people have? Public lives and not much of a private one. Let's face it, maybe they don't want a private life, only a public and political one for their own goals and needs.

The thing I saw on the wife of the Governor of New York was shock and great disappointment that they drug her on for a photo opportunity. She looked like she could have been anywhere in the world except for that one. That took real nerve to bring her on to stand by her man. As Tammy said, "don't drag me into this mess." You all know what I am talking about on this one.

this is from askmen.com 10 most reason men cheat.
Number 10
Your lady doesn't put out
Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform fellatio. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Niro said in Analyze This , "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.
Number 9
She cheated on you
So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency.
Number 8
It's challenging and exciting
If you consider the women you sleep with "sexual trophies," chances are you have already cheated at least once in your life. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the hunt, the chase and the conquest. For other men, the excitement is in the variety, like changing ice cream flavors for one day after years of sticking to just one.
Number 7
You can get away with it
"What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for some men to grab a different helping. But be careful; as men get craftier with avoiding detection, women get more sophisticated with detecting, not to mention boosting their network of spies.
Number 6
It boosts your ego
Nothing lifts the old self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire you sexually. When in long-term relationships, men may begin to question their sexual marketability, which will lead some of them to sow their clandestine wild oats. Once a man knows he can get back in the game, he'll return to his mate; or not.

What's a guy to do when his girlfriend's-a-naggin' and opportunity comes-a-knockin'? Next >>


Number 5
The opportunity was there
It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself. Maybe it's a frisky ex-girlfriend, maybe it's a horny hottie on the dance floor. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime occasion that might never be available again. Carpe diem , as they say.
Number 4
Your girlfriend is a nag
Most men have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making him feel like crap. Constant nagging, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin.
Number 3
Women let us
Truth be told, women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behavior. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their men's infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with homicide might compel them to double deal repeatedly. Just ask Bill Clinton.
Number 2
She doesn't turn you on anymore
Long-term relationships have the annoying habit of making people lazy. No longer concerned with staying fit and attractive, a committed woman might lose the allure she once had. Her man may simply not find her beautiful anymore, and making love to her is not as stirring as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women.
Number 1
You don't love her anymore
Alas, after a long time together, you have lost the feelings you once had for her. But the relationship has remained too much a part of you. Separating seems so painful, so radical that it's almost inconceivable. So instead of separating, you go elsewhere to get your physical gratification. Most times this does not help matters, but only prolongs the inevitable breakup.

i'm sorry but i for one don't buy the boys will be boys stance that men "can't" say no to sex. i think we've been giving men this excuse for far too long. i think it is a stereotype and that men feel entitled to behave that way because of this prevailing attitude in society. as far as i'm concerned it is as much a need as women have for having a baby. not everyone has it and you have the choice to say no to that "need." you will not die if you don't have sex and i'm tired of hearing that men have "needs." if a man thinks with his penis that is a choice he makes and has more to do with his upbringing and attitude than with how he is "hardwired." i just don't accept the fact that men can't say no to sex i just think that they don't because society seems to expect them to act that way and our culture just puts value in male promiscuity. if a female acts that way there are a lot of names you can call her but when a man does it it's because he couldn't help himself. please.

I think if someone cheats, it is completely thei own fault and no one else should get the blame. No one made them cheat, no one forced them to hae sex with another being. If you want to cheat either try and fix the problem or split up. It's that simple.

I think you are completely right about that. But, I believe these powerful politicians want to have it all. They think, why break up my family if I can get away with this? It seems that these wealthy, powerful people have to have that risk of being caught, even when they have everything to lose.

The original question was about the woman standing up there by her man. Why?

I think part of it is that people expect a woman to do that, whether it's right or wrong. I'm sure Mrs. Spitzer is still in shock that this private transgression is being blasted around the world for everyone to see. Most of us regular people would be allowed to handle this privately.

It does seem that powerful men do have a drive that goes beyond the norm and they aren't thinking about being caught. In fact, I don't believe Gov. Spitzer was thinking at all. He had a great wife and family, great education (Harvard), solid career as a prosecutor and the highest office in the state and he STILL risked it all. Jay Leno said it best when he asked Hugh Grant: "What the hell were you thinking?"

Having not been in that position, maybe Mrs. Spitzer doesn't want to be seen as a deserter even though she didn't do anything wrong. Since this type of thing has happened a lot lately, it looks like the transgressor tries to follow a media plan to take responsibility without really giving details about the bad thing he/she has done.

Mrs Spitzer is a smart woman and I'm sure she is thinking about her three daughters and how this will affect them. We don't know how upset she is with her husband, but as a political wife, she has learned how the media works. Now that he's resigned as governor, I believe the two will settle the problem as privately as possible in the near future once the cameras are off.

That was brilliant. And after reading through all of it, I believe that your last comments are the most valid. When, after all is said and done, if there is no more love, it is over. It just comes down to the split/breakdown/going separate ways.

Roberta,.
I think number 10 through 9 lead up to number 1..

those "reasons" are artificial. men who cheat do so because they are cheaters and lack respect for themselves and their partners. it is a dangerous myth to perpetuate that men have no control over their actions when it comes to sex and that's pretty much what that article is saying. i have a friend who was a pilot for a saudi arabian airline. she is a pretty icelandic woman and she had to fly to middle eastern countries. part of her job training was how to stay safe while in the country by covering your whole body and not looking any man in the eye because if a man starts masturbating in public in front of you or decides to rape you it is not his fault because you must have enticed him somehow by making eye contact or showing your hair.

Are you JOKING ME!?!? Well then it would be American self defese to rip his nasty balls off!

There is no excusable reason for cheating in my mind. That whole thing where "they can't help it" doesn't fly with me. Like I said, no one forced them to do it. they put themselves in that situation and allowed it to happen.