In my opinion, abortion is homicide. I agree with your mom and dad in this instance... I think that you should discuss this with your parents, and according to their reaction: keep the child. After all, even though it is simply a fetus at the moment, it will grow into a functioning being soon. It is a person no matter how small!
Think of this unborn child and its potential and right to life... it's time to think about him/her instead of yourself. After all, you're going to be a mom! Take responsibility even though you might not want to.
I know several women who've had abortions and they regret it sooo much they can't sleep at night. It's actually quite scary. :S I wish you all the best, and keep us updated!

this is a big decision.
and no one can tell you what is right or wrong but yourself.
You know what is best for you, be it keeping the baby or not.
It is expensive to raise a child though, my bf and i have a 9 month old son, and we had savings too...but it seems that what we thought would be alot of savings is not quite enough. Things get expensive as they grow up..new clothes, more diapers, different food etc.
if you and your fiancee think you two can handle this, you can make it work, but be prepared for the unexpected. i am 19 and what i thought i was prepared for, i was definately not. its completely different as soon as that child enters the world.
if you decide on abortion, i could just be between you and your fiancee, no outsiders need to know about it, thats just my thought on that.
but if you do decide to keep the child, you should tell your parents.
as a young parent, you will need all the help and support that you can get. i dont know what i would do if i did not have the help that i have.
you also have the option of adoption too if you do not want to go through with abortion or keeping the child.
You would be giving that child to a family who cannot reproduce on their own, would be giving them a wonderful gift, and could have open adoption, where you get updates on that baby every now and then.
Weigh out your options though, is there any other adult that you trust that you could tlak to about this/.
good luck.
if you need to talk, PM me anytime.

Tarimisu, raising a child is a hard thing to do.
and you should not force your belief on other people.
it is even more difficult, in my eyes, as a young parent.
Just because she has gotten pregnant, does not mean she is obligated to keep this child now.
its a hard job, a full time job with no breaks or days off. and i can speak from first hand experience.

She is thinking of this child, she is looking out for this child's best intrest here. not just thinking of herself.
She is still very young, she could if she wanted to abort or adopt the child and when the time comes that she is ready to have a child, can plan one out.
I really find it rude to preach your belief on to her.
this is her choice, no one elses.
Not every woman's abortion experience is a scary one. and You should read some of their experiences on the abortion forum here.
Everyone is different, every persons choice is different, and every child someone has is different and can be harder for others.

Tarimisu- I understand and have respect for what your saying, i've thought of the baby that way and others i realise that the unborn child is a life and i could be cutting it off. Also i do think i'm being a big wuss not being able to talk to my Dad at least but its something depending on my decsion i'd have to do, i know they'd be very dissapointed in me etc. I just don't want to live to regret or be left when the going gets tough and i know thats very selfish! I'm certainly not thinking its going to be easy because i don't want to fool myself. I know i need support i just don't know whether i will get it from those i love, family. I know my fiance will love and support me through thick and thin but as nasty or selfish as this sounds i don't know whether it'll be enough. Also what with us both wanting to go back into education in september, i've got a place too, is that selfish of us? ..or me? I have got a car and will be passing my test befor ethe baby will have been born !

Its just a really emotional and hard descion!

ProudMommy2008- I know it does rinse your pockets out well, as i was a 'live-in nanny' and i know the savings i've got aren't going to be enough, cos they grow very quickly in and out of clothes and as they grow up they vwant more etc.

I'm also adopted myself, selfish as this sounds i don't want my child being adopted .. Oh btw ProudMommy2008 the above bit some of the stuff i wrote to you got jumbled with the bit for Tarimisu x

hun, the bottom line, is you are young.
and you and your fiancee have plans that you want to fulfill still.
you are young and healthy, you could always try again if you dont think you can do it right now. and there is no shame guilt or pressure in doing that.
you should talk to a few people on the abortion forum, some of them have said it was the best thing for them to have done, it was hard, but the best thing for them, and some have gone on to have children as they got older and what not.
if you honestly dont think you can do it, i say talk it over with your fiancee, weigh out your options, keep in mind you can try again in a few years when you two are ready, you dont have to do something you are not ready for, you dont have to tell your parents if you choose abortion either it could be between youa nd your fiancee.
you have options if you do not want to adopt, abortion or keep.
either will be hard, but you should not feel guilty or selfish for either, you are doing what you think is best for you, your fiancee and this child.

I really are greatful for your help because its helping me to think more about it in depth and really get down to it. I don't know whether i could move on and forget, i know i will, never, forget. My fiance always says that he wants our first child to be our first and i love that he cares because alot of men his age wouldn't think twice about becoming a father, they just wouldn't be as into it as him, i really do appreciate that. I would feel shame in myself because i hjaven't given it my all etc i know i might feel like a head case to you! I'm just really stuck in the middle, if i go through with it i will need all the support i can get and for that i need to reach my hand out to my parents and hope they grab it. I've heard the college i am going to has facilities for moms with children so i'm going to check it out etc and really get advice and information before i make a final descion because i want my child whenever i do have one to be proud to call me mommy and to my fiance, daddy. x

whatever you choose, it is your choice, and that choice will be the right one because you made it.
you could call like..planned parenthood, or something like that, im sure there is something listen in a phone book where you could get help or advice there too.
seeing as your fiancee is very supportive in you, i would think that if you said abortion, he would be very supportive in getting through this with you.
i would call your doctor and ask if there is anyone you can call to seek out helpful advice with.
good luck hun

Thank youu you've beeen really really really helpful and i'm greatful someone has views that really help! I don't mind what other peoples views or advice are i'm very greatful to have it given to me and helps me work out whats the best thing to do for myself and my partner and our unborn child, so thank you ! x

Okay, I'm sorry if I've offended either one of you... Please forgive me if I have. I just believe that abortion isn't the option...I realize that pregnancy is difficult and emotional, and very tough--trust me, I do. And, I appreciate that you are giving this thought. That shows that you're mature; once again, I apologize for any conflict I may have caused...

ProudMommy2008: I don't think I was pushing my belief on Lexandra... I think I was just stating my opinion. After all, that's what she was asking for, wasn't it? Advice and opinion? She's going to get diversity because this world is a diverse place. We're all different, but in some cases there is only one right answer.

yes that is true, but your opinion just was a little forceful or rude to me.
i mean i i was asking this question id feel like i got a punch in the face when someone says that abortion is homicide.
although abortion may not be the best choice in the world, it is a choice nonetheless. and one that even though it may not be right for you, it could be right for others to make. and in saying that, i am sure it would not be an easy choice, but one that they made thinking about what is in the best intrest of the whole picture here.
if someone cannot afford a child, does not want to give away a child, does that mean she is obligated to keep the child and raise it knowing that they cannot afford to do so?
i know for me personally, if at the 12week and up screening, if there was a deformity or disability that an unborn child will have, i would abort because i believe it is not fair to let a child knowingly grow up that way. but that is just my choice, i know others would feel differently.

it just sounded as though you were shunning her choice of thinking of abortion to me, and sounded offensive.
no one should be made to feel bad about the decisions or options that they are thinking of.

It sounds like you've already made your decision, even before you asked.

Haha it does when i read it back, god no i didn't know what to do!! .. I'm still stlightly in two minds i'm jsut greatful for people giving me advice that are more experienced than i am, it really does help. I mean whether someones advice is abortions out the question or another saying its the way forward.. etc.. i mean whatever it is it gives me more things to think about before making the descion (:
x

Lexandra, its quite refreshing for a young mother to refer to her baby as "an unborn child". You have been a nanny and you know the work that is ahead of you. Sweetie dont put your self down so hard. No one is judging as to why you are in your situation, the forum is used for support. I do have my beliefs and it is not my place to burden you with my personal choice. However, the only thing I ask of all young mothers is tell a parent or an adult. It just seemed as if you were defending your imposition and you dont need to. Whatever decision you make you alone have to live with that. I do not feel your heart is leaning towards abortion. I do feel you are really torn. Research your options. An open adoption would allow you to give your unborn child an environment with the best of both worlds. You could pick the adoptive parents and you and your fiance can choose how much apart of your unborn child life you will take part in.

To me i don't like some of the phrases used for unborn children i don't know why i don't feel they get enough dignity hah (: Yeah i enjoyed every bit of it, i know it can be hard i've had the sleepless nights, the midnight feeds, the tired feeling etc I know its not easy. I just feel that if i do go through with it am i being selfish into still wanting to go and finish my education, i want my child to call me mommy and be proud and i don't know by myself and my fiance carrying/going back into education is selfish as a mother?.. There is a nursery from 6 weeks -5years, across the road from the college where i've got in for, so i could visit at lunch and break etc.. I've got a car and will be well into driving by the time my baby is born. My mother knows now and she wants me to do another pregnancy test just i think for her benifit as she keeps telling herself i'm not pregnant, i know this must be a huge shock to her but its one step closer. I don't know whether i could do it but the whole education thing makes me feel selfish but i want to show my child i can do it.. you can do anything you put your mind too! I am torn into two bloomin pieces!
I know alot about adoption but i'm afraid i know that from my heart i couldn't do it, one because i'm adopted and i just don't know it wouldn't feel right, i would hate to think that my child resented me etc it would break my heart and my fiances. Abortion is not out of the question but i knwo i'll never forget or would i benifit?! I'm soo stuck :/
xxxx

no you are not.
going back to school to get a higher source is not a selfish thing to do on your part hun.
if you want to keep this child a nd still go back to school, you guys can make it work.
alot of young mothers do this either by getting baby sitters or placing their child in day care or having family members who are wanting to babysit their grankids, while the mother goes off to college for the day.
it would be difficult juggling homework and a baby but you can do it, and you would be doing this to help your family in the end, i mean a college degree means a career down the road specializing in something you want to pursue even further and get even more recognition and experience in it.
it would not be selfish at all.
if you want something bad enough you can work at getting it.
are you in high school still?
i would suggest talking with a school counsellor about this, they might have like, brouchures for college/young parents and how they still managed to do both at once.
just have support if youa re going to go ahead with this, i dont know what i would od if i didnt have the help and support that i have. its a big change once you have your own child instead of caring for others.

one plan of mine is, since i had my son at 19, i am planning on going to college when my son gets into school full-time. but seeing as i used up my college savings and combined it with my bf's, im debating that, because i would rather start saving now for my son's college fund instead of my own, ill work something out, but if i choose to go to college, it would be when my son is in school for the whole day.

talk to your mom about this hun, explain to her that you need someone to respect YOUR choice, and not make you feel bad about what one you make. you know yourself best, and seem to havve a good head on your shoulders.
not all girls your age would weigh out all their options.

I'm just really worried that it could be selfish because if i do have this child i want it to be brought up in stability in me knowing what and where i'm going! I'm not in school, i left a year ago and worked for a year, as a waitress, bar, expo, host, live in nanny, elderly caarer, so i've done alot and built up my cv (: My fiance is doing his a levels in september, and then going into the police force. Which i'm very happy about as thats what i want to do and maybe later in life when if i have this child i'll go to uni to study criminology!! .. I really want to do this but be positive its the right choice!! I just want to have enough money and be able financially be able to support the unborn child when he or she starts wanting and growing quicker etc!
I'm going to give her a little space and let her take it in and relax, well i am weighing them out because i don't want to make the wrong decsion for myself or my unborn child because i don't want the baby to resent me i'm just so scared of not being the best parent i can be, i know i will love this child no matter what and fight to get everything he/she wants and to cherish and nurish.
But is that enough?! .. I sound like a right head case! xxx

Lexandra, first may I ask are you harboring feelings toward your birth parents? All situations are different but one of the most selfless acts of love is giving a baby up for adoption. I know you are torn and you feel you cannot do it........YOU CAN! Being scared that you will not be the best parent you can be? That describes all parents. Everyone feels that way at some point. You alone know what you can live with. You can finish school and make a career. Its not be selfish to finish education, thats being smart! I was 15 when I became pregnant with my first child. It was a result from a date rape. Finishing high school, raising a baby, dealing with everything else, I was overwhelmed! I did it! My oldest will be 22 in August. Everyday I wonder how in the world I survived? I finished college a little slower than some but I finished it as well. Talk to your mother. Would she be willing to help you? I will say this....LOVE is the most important thing. Materialistic things do not matter if a child is not cared for and loved.

i also have to ask, do you have negative feelings towards your birth mother? do you know who she is or why she put you up for adoption?
thismay be a touchy subjecy so dont feel pressured to answer if you dont want to.
i only ask because, maybe like brek08 said, this would be a good thing to do. you have worries all parents to be and parents have. i wonder if i am doing the right thing for my son everyday.
but since you have so many cons and pros, maybe adoption could be a good thing.
and like someone said above, you could have open adoption, pick the adoptive parents and interview them, and decide how involved you would like to be in this child's life.
it would not be a terrible thing, you could later on explain to that child why you did it.
your young,you have a plan as to how you want things to go, you should not shun that plan now because of a bump in the road. maybe you could look into this, with your mom or fiancee.
but again, you know yourself best, and you know what you can handle.