I am 31 years old. I have a valid DL. I have a car that I own (no payments) and this laptop. I have no job. I have been trying for months but I have a problem when I get a job. I typically destroy it within a few months with my Bi_polar or anxiety whatever it is. I have never been diagnosed but I had a major panic attack in 2009 and I was put on Xanax for a couple weeks and told to go speak to someone. I never did. I felt better. it's when things go bad that I start losing it. Like anyone but I should not even be considering hurting myself which I am.
Last week I thought I had a grasp on it. I was ready to go. I made brand new emails and a facebook account and was waiting on my cousin to make my resume. I was all fired up for last Monday because that is when she said she would have it ready for me. So I waited a week and made a Facebook wall post on that Monday that read, "I love my cousin for being so awesome with resumes! I can't wait". She replied and called me a "stalker" and told me to "chill" publicly. This was a week after our last communication. My mother and father will be the first to tell you my cousin is a jerk but why did her comments completely destroy me and make me not want to do anything? I was really counting on her and I have never asked her for anything EVER! I even waited two more days to see if she would turn up with it and she didn't so when I asked her about it she told me how I need to grow up and blah blah blah. The whole situation was the last wake up call I needed because it was obvious I wasn't ready to enter the work force again if her comment could bother me that much and take all of my energy.
Where can I go? Who can I call? To take the first step to talking to the right person and figuring out what is wrong with my brain? I have no Health Insurance and I have been telling everyone for years that I am fine and I usually am when I have a job, money in my pocket and a car to drive. Even when I have those things I tend to destroy relationships at work and elsewhere that get me fired and I am sick of it. Most people say I am bi-polar but others say it's anxiety but whatever it is it isn't getting any better. Who has 16 years of bad luck with jobs? I'm starting to realize it's me lol. What can I do? I am not going back into the work force until I get myself straightened out, it's not fair to anyone including me. Please what can I do?
Being 31 most of my friends and family have given up on even talking to me on the phone or hanging out with me in general because I cannot get my life together and they've been hearing the same stuff since I've been young. I can't handle a job interview right now. I can't even handle getting to the interview because I have no fuel in my vehicle and $3 cash on me. What options do I have here? I am so messed up I need help so bad please. Without insurance...and money what do I do? Where can I go? I've searched the internet and ended up here.
I feel for you, and the fact that you have no Health care. I am a 58 year old woman and was just recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I also am Canadian, so I can have easy access to good health care.
Your anxiety is part of the package of Bi-polar disorder. When I was in high school I was a nervous wreck. I learned how to meditate using an autogenic training method, and this helped me manage my anxiety, so it was bearable, and also helped me concentrate and be on the ball. It really works.
You really should be put on an anti-depressant. It will help get you on an even keel, and you will find your life much easier. A good one is effexor, and you can get it in a generic brand. Are there any free clinics where you live where you could talk to someone and get on some medication right away? Stay away from drugs and go online and read all you can about by-polar disorder. Hope this helps, I will post a link to the autogenic training site, if you would like. Take care
I am 37 yrs. Old and was diagnosed this year with bipolar. I too
Have struggled with jobs for over 17 years. I am extremely bright
And charming so getting a job is easy. What happens during my job
Is anxiety and irritability created by lazy co workers. I have learned that
This is my problem and I have to chill out because it is in every workplace
I was put on an antidepressant 7 years ago, but that caused hypomania
I had no idea what was happening until I had a full on breakdown this year
I lost a 60k a yr job because I hadn't been there long enough to take
A leave. I too had no insurance and without my income my family went negative
Cash flow really quick. My husband got my parents involved and I now
See a great psychologist. I am on Lithium, wellbutrin, lamictal, and 1000 mg of omega 3
It has been 6 months and it wasn't easy. I felt worse before I got better
Now I feel Bettee and more clear minded than ever. My advise to you
Is get help. Who cares about the insurance or lack of money. Walk in
To a local bipolar institute or psychologist and tell them. Don't worry about anything
Accept getting help. You can always pay someone back. Your mind and your
Health is #1. I believe you are a wonderful human being reaching out.
You owe to yourself and all those you can help once you feel better
Know that you must stay on meds and see a doctor every month. That is a
Small price to pay for getting your life back. You can do it. Hope that helps.
Check out National Alliance for Mental Illness website www.NAMI.com and find a local chapter/meeting where you live. There are usually two meetings - one for consumers (meaning consuming services) and one for family members. At the consumer meeting they will tell you about support services near where you live. I am sure there are services available for those without income near where you live. And the family meeting will give your parents and other loved ones information and support they need. It is a struggle, but you can live with mental illness. Half the battle is just accepting the problem. It strikes 10 percent of the population. You have a broken brain, you did nothing wrong and help is available. Please give this a try. Your cousin was mean and do not judge everyone by her immature attitude. Facebook seems to bring out the worst in alot of people. Everyone gets old but not everyone grows up unfortunately. People at NAMI care and can help.