Hi. First of all i want to thank all the ppl that do share the same idea of getting someone back because you simply believe this is the right thing to do.
First of all I want to introduce myself. My name is Jim. And my story (making it from long short... is this):
I was 24 at the 2nd year of merchant navy academy. I met her in WoW (yes the PC game and no we are not nerds ahaha). She has studies on piano (same as I) we listen similar kind of music and she is 2.5 years older than me. Her name: Kate. We flirt in a high level of humor leaving small windows to show to each other that this wasnt all humor but maybe somthing more. So... after 2 years... *i had some family issues and i was closed to myself... letting my relationship go on its own... She thought that she wasnt on my plans... (you know... 28-29... single girl... Bells are ringing "when am i gonna make a family... and is he the right one?" etc etc). She never ofc mentioned anything but I figured it out in some point (after break up). so at Xmas she asked me in tears to end it there cause she couldnt stand the fact that i might be gone to sea for a period. (that was the finishing blow since I didnt cared for our relationship for like 5 months or so). I went to my home city for Xmas and when i came back to the city the academy was... i came to find out that she moved on with someone else. What i have done from there... Is mistake after mistake. But since I want your opinion there they are:
-I called her repeatedly to ask her out to see each other at least to see how we doing...She replied to 3% of my calls only to tell me that it was over etc...
-I bought her 2 presents (1 for birthday excuse 1 for valentines day) and when she asked me why am i doing this i said because i like it and no more.
-I DID cried and some times she did as well. (when we were together she used to cry on my arms all the time..."you ll go to sea and i ll be here alone" etc etc
-I told her that we could make things right...
-I wrote her things... that made her emotional etc... (she did came to sleep one night in my house *no we didnt do anything else)
-Then we were start seing each other 1 time / week or something for like...20-30minutes... and she was all kisses and love and everything.
-Next day she didnt answer the calls and when she did it was only to tell me that i m tellin her the same things over and over again... etc...
-So... I came down to fight it on my own. Sadly i have no friends here and the last 2 months have been a bit hard. But I ll survive i think ahahah.
-So... after a call... i never called her back... and she did after 5 days... I Asked here if anything bad happened... and she said "why something bad has to happen for me to call you"...
I have to say that our "relationship" after we broke up was 2 sided. The call on phone side which was... "ok since you are fine hang up i dont wanna see you" and the face to face one where "Why you didnt told me things before... Why not this and that... and touch me all the time and kiss"
She was getting what she wanted. A piece of me... to fill the void in her.
I went NC and she called 5 days after... and then at my birthday. the first call i was talkin lots makin jokes and sayin stuff lasted 17minutes.
Second phone call she called to say Happy birthday... wish me what i want (i told her in a funny way i cant have what i want *yet) laughing. Call lasted 1.5minutes (yes one and a half). Strange thing is that she put this comment on her skype that day *lyrics from nickelback song: I m trying not to love you only goes so far... Tryin not to need you is tearing me apart...
She hasnt called since. and me neither. I put a comment that delete time has come in general... and i m gonna ask for my laptop in few days... meet with her and tell her couple of things (2-3mins max with a sad but smily face) and then delete her from my life.
What you guys think. Please if you share some thoughts explain yourselves so i get to see your point of view.
Heartache is tough. I wish you the best in your healing process. I have been through a lot of heartache in my life also. One thing you should do is avoid any contact with her for a while, at least a month. I know that is very difficult to think about but you both need time to really sort out your thoughts and feelings. One of the biggest mistakes, especially if you want to eventually get her back is to chase after her or constantly call or text. Don't text her, don't call or send presents. Here is a really good video to watch.
Give yourself some time to just be alone. Reconnect with family or friends, maybe read a good book, learn a new skill. If things are meant to be, they will be.