Hello. I'm 17 years old, and I've suffered from a social phobia and an anxiety disorder all of my life. But I'm also very paranoid, and lately it's been getting really bad. The paranoia has always been around, I've just never realized it's this bad, I've always thought it's connected to my other disorders but I'm not sure it is. I've been too embarrassed to bring it up with my family.

The paranoia started coming when I was 8-9, I've always been terrified of being kidnapped, pedophiles, etc. This is something that still sticks, back then when I was home alone I had to check all windows and doors to see if it was locked, even if my parents were just out walking for half an hour. Now that's gotten better, but it's gotten worse in other ways, as soon as I walk out of the door I get thoughts that people are following me, that a car will turn up any second and take me away, I've started shaking and sweating when I'm walking alone in the dark. Now the thoughts are in my everyday-life aswell, I have thoughts of my family and friends conspiring, talking and planning things behind my back.

Lately I've had the strangest thoughts, which I really can't find any logic in, but it's haunting me something terrible. I masturbate, which is probably not a surprise, but half of the time it doesn't work, cause I think my family has put up hidden cameras in my room, as soon as I hear a laughter, or someone speaking outside of my door while I'm doing it, I have to stop, and search the room. It's like an impulse thing, I think it's crazy myself, but whenever it happens I just have to do it, cause it feels like I'm being watched, as if they're talking/laughing about me, watching me through a camera hidden somewhere in the room..

I've also had other thoughts, the craziest one is that I sometimes think people hear my thoughts, as if I'm saying my thoughs out loud without knowing it. I start getting these negative thoughts about people whenever I'm around them, and I have to force myself to stop cause I think they can see it on me or hear it. I try to force a static sound in my head, and I can't keep focused on anything else but that, I try extremely hard not to think any negative thoughts around people cause I think they can hear me.

I've also had thoughts that I actually do think out loud, like people around me know that I think out loud and don't respond/act like it never happened whenever I do it, as if they've been warned I'm like that, messed up in the head, etc.

Another thing that's been bothering me is that I have a tendency to converse with myself, with thoughts of course, I can spend 20~ minutes talking to myself in my head, without being aware of it. It's like me and my mind are two seperate people.

I think I've started to lose grip of reality aswell, sometimes I can suddenly notice that this is actually happening, this is real-life and I can be completely stunned, and get a strange feeling of anxiety through my body. This has started happening a few times per month, it happened as early as yesterday aswell.. It's like "Poff, this is actually happening". It feels like I'm living in my head sometimes, just like I said above, about the conversing.

I've no idea where all of this has come from, these extreme thoughts of paranoia have evolved the last 2 years or so, before that I just thought people were laughing about me or talking about me whenever I heard a whisper or a laughter in another room or close to me. But now it's this bad, I really have to get some kind of help.. What do you recommend I should do?

Sorry for the "wall of text", so much at once, I just want some answers.

Thanks.