Depression Forum - Social anxiety ?

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Q: Social anxiety ?

asked by: sadsuzi on July 13th, 2009

New User

I am a stay at home mum and a year ago moved to a new house, i was not keen on how the other mums who i got friendly with where with there children, for example, four year olds out on the street at 11pm at night playing in the road an falling asleep on sofa, and feeding them junk food all of the time . That didn't effect my life at first until they started to become close friends, they tried to push their lifestyle onto me an my little girl even when id say no they would over ride my wishes, for example, i would say she could have one choc and they would go against me and give the her a big packet and id also have children knocking on my door asking if my two year old could play out in the street. I started to back of seeing them as much as there where many comments they would make that i would go home feeling upset. Anyway to try an cut the story short, they got angry with me for not going around as much and told all the neighbours stories about me, which mad the neighbours who has once smiled in the street snarl insted (making me very uncomfortable) The neighbours have also tried to pick arguments with me and have shouted at me about silly things like trellice at the front of my own house saying it is stupid and they are going to rip it down. There is about 4 families now who are 'ganging together' and being what id call mean to me. But the problem is i can't ever get them off my mind, i think that they are looking into my house constantly and talking about me, i feel ill with it, i have started to not want to go home, i dread it if i've been out for the day. I am poping calm tablets just to be able to stay in my house and i wont walk down the street. My husband works 60 hours a week so i'm on my own alot which doesnt help. Do you think i have social anxiety or would most people feel this way. I feel so ill with it all.

Replies(6)

loupie

replied on July 13th, 2009

New User

You are being a responsible mum. Not as many of these around as use to be so you will feel in the minority. There's probably a certain amount of jealousy going round if you have a caring husband (cares enough to go out and earn to help the family) and if you dont get your kicks from slagging others off you may seem different -you'd probably find some of the other mums want to be like you too but are too afraid to be left out of the group. Best policy is to stay away, these groups usually end up about oneanother in turn, can be just as hurtful even when you think you're in the 'in' crowd. Dont let your 2yr old play on the street - unless you could cope with her being a statistic, but look to yourself for strength-you dont really need the pills do you? what about joining some differnt groups-maybe mums and toddlers or something like that -meet like minded people-it's ok to be different, in fact compared to those you describe you need to different!
Stay strong - you're an ok person, don't let them bring you down x

loupie

replied on July 13th, 2009

New User

the health forum bit is cos i used a word relating to female dogs! I understand the pop-up msg i got now! sorry folks. x

sandraceenc

replied on July 14th, 2009

New User

No I wouldn't say you were suffering from SAD at all. Your dealing with a simple case of misery loves company sorta people that are now jealous and hate you because you don't want to be as miserable as they are and you are doing the right thing by not associating with them and cutting your ties with them. If I were you ,I wouldn't worry about it too much. Especially if these people all have kids, I"m sure they don't want to go to jail for harassing you which will and can happen if they go to far with all this. They are simply trying their best to intimidate you. Don't let them do that, stand up for yourself and gain the respect you so rightly deserve. Your a human being and you have rights. Stand up for yourself and your family and I guarantee you they will leave you alone. People like that or them, rather only feed on the weak, it's even popular within the animal kingdom. Let them know enough is enough and you do things your way and nobody elses. I"m sure they aren't that crazy. If they are, do what you have to do to protect yourself and your family. The human instinct to protect itself and those around it that it loves is a very , very strong and powerful instinct. You will know when they have pushed you too far. If the law doesn't get involved and help you , then take matters into your own hands. You have every right as a human to protect yourself and the life of your child or children. Don't worry k?

sadsuzi

replied on July 15th, 2009

New User

Thankyou to you all for your kind answers xxx

missgoody

replied on September 21st, 2009

New User

your not on your own, im also a stay at home mum.my partner goes to work.And i moved to a new house. Neighbours seemed friendly at first. then started picking on my children for no reason what so ever, ie telling them to go indoors, even swearing at them. im a shy sort of person and am a bit anxious sort, but there was no way i was going to put up with anyone upsetting my children. so one night it come to a head, again they continued to upset the kids in their own garden, i just angrily shouted at tham to leave my kids alone as it was not exceptable behaviour and it was harrasment. from then on we,v had no more bother.why other mums clan together on the street gossiping i prefer to keep myself to myself, although i,ll say, hello ,thats how im going to stay as im very weary now, as this sort of things happened before.If this harrasment continued id have wrote it down in a diary , when, what happened etc, and brought it to the attention of the local council or police as no one should be suspected to that!! . best wishes carol x

alicat123

replied on November 6th, 2009

New User

your doing the right thing by staying away there just another form of bullies, they see you as different and they dont like it cause youve stepped away from them and they can see you living an ordinary life with your husband and daughter and wish they had the same.
Walk proud down the road with your head up high because youve doing nothing wrong, they will soon get bored if they dont see a reaction. Oh and no youve not got social anxiety because you would not have sat with them in the first place, maybe you just feel intimidated by them i know i would if that was me in that situation.
look at them and laugh inside because there th ones with the issues

take care and enjoy you life x

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