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So I'm confused. I care about them both deeply

I'm confused and coming to this forum for some unbiased truth. I have been with my bf for 7 years (call him Bob) and we own a condo together. He tells me loves me and I know that there is some truth to it. About 4 years ago a relationship with a friend (lets call him James) turned sexual which then turned to a fall on relationship where the word "love was used". For four years I carried on two relationships - yes I know this is is not right and horrible I have tremendous guilt about it. In January I ended my relationship with James as I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone involved. I am now with Bob only but I'm not sure its what I want. I'm realizing that James was so much more fun and that life with Bob life is passing me by. I'm 32, I want to get married, I want to have kids. I don't know where this relationship with Bob is going - days just seems to tick away. I mention marriage and he just saids he doesn't think about it. I was with James for so long I feel like I need to give the relationship with Bob a chance where there is no other distractions but I'm finding it very hard.

I will say that there has been NO sex with Bob since I broke it off with James and during the four years I cheated on him with James I can count on my hand how many times we had sex.

So I'm confused. I care about them both deeply and I have history with Bob that I don't want to leave but I miss James so much. I don't know what to do. I totally accept that I got myself into this situation. But I would love some advice thoughts. I'm sorry if this is scattered, my thoughts are sort of all over the place.
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replied April 10th, 2012
Experienced User
Well ask james if he wants to marry you and have kids then go for that relation. If bob don't want to marry then why is he carrying this relationship. Try this.
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