Slipping back into ED

Still in starvation mode diet. I keep a food journal. I find myself lying about what i eat and if i ate at all. Food starts to scare me if its high in calories. I hate it but love it at the same time. Im not even anywhere near underweight at least not yet. Im just sooooo tired of being fat and this pudge, I cant stand it. I sooo love to be at work, even though i work at subway around food im never tempted to eat it. I got excited over having a coffee machine at work so i can drink coffee all day and not eat. Its pathetic. I duno that theres anything anyone can say much to help, but i did want to share with everyone here whats been going on with me since ive been on this forum for a while now.

I think you should concentrate on your kids and eat. You know if you don't eat you will die, why would you want to do that? I'm pretty sure you want to see your kids graduate and have grandbabies. Think about them. Go to a nutrionits to help you with a diet so that you eat healthy and you know you are not going to gain weight if you eat healthy. So think about your kids. Eat for them.

Hey ED's are so easy to slipt back into. You mus tknow how much pain they cause and the fact you have 2 children should show you that their more important things than image. i was never ready to get help, tbh nobody is you need to come clean and get help. And your husband/children could of even picked up on your habits already.

good luck xx

hiyya,

im concerned at the fact that you have such a serious eatingdisorder and are also acting as a role model for two children. Your children will look up to you and will learn from you.

Imagine how you would feel if one of your children presented the symptoms of an eating disorder. You wouldnt know what to do because you would also be in the same situation. Please do get yourself some support. It is for you and your children.

If i put it in a different light...would you want your children to grow up without a mother because she had died. It's what you are doing to yourself...literally killing yourself each week you put your body through the routine of not eating, you shorten your life dramatically.

Im sorry that is harsh but its the truth and I think you need to listen and understand it.

Yours hopefully,

Natalie .x.

In response to Natalie, not to scare you or anything, but my mom is anorexic..and works out like crazy. She has been off and on since before i was born. I'm a senior in highschool and started having anorexic behaviours around 8th and 9th grade. Having my mom be taller and skinnier than i am doesn't help, she deson't know that i am / was anorexic because i dont plan on ever telling her. She hasnt' told me, it's just obvious. So pleasee, think of your kids and how it could effect them..do you really want them to go through what you did?