im gonna try to be as honest as i can. but when your kids have seperate fathers no guy is gonna respect you. yes you have a right to be happy and be in a loving relationship..but respect yourself too. your 19 with 2 kids! why arent you on birthcontrol? and now your gonna have a 3rd. the way your life is right now is by your actions girl. you could have taken better care of your self. you guys didnt protect yourself and now your prego again. im not saying its your fault, but after 2 kids from different fathers you should have been more cautious. and the guy should have worn a condom. but as a woman its your respocability to take care of your body, the guy isnt gonna be the one taking the birthcontrol.

yes you should fight for child support but you cant go blaming everything on the guys that got you pregnant, one little pill could have prevented this. theres not much you can do but decide if your going to keep it. much luck to you girl..

Excuse me LadyT02 I don't believe uniquemommy came on here and wrote that to be judged. You are not aware of her situation I got pregnant on birth control and my boyfriend of 4 years up and left me. I am 21 years old with a newborn and if anyone dared to say that to me .... She may of gotten pregnant on contraception, she may of been in a loving relationship with a guy and they may have both decided to go ahead with the pregnancy and then he may of left and then she may of met someone else and had the same thing happen. I don't believe it is anyone's right to judge. Yeah uniquemommy I know it is hard, and sometimes it feels like when you can't get much lower you take another dip in life. Hang in there things will brighten ... well that is what I keep telling myself. I don't know how you managed to have two babies ... I'm pulling my hair out trying to work around my darling little newborns lack of sleep patterns. If you managed the other two then you'l do fine with the third ... but maybe you should stop trusting men? I have come to realise that they are all butt heads and my way of life is trust no one ... that way you can't get hurt. I hope things go better for you ...

no i dont dare tell you cause SHE asked the queston and said any input would be greatly appreciated rite? its not all butterflies and rainbows whe it comes to relationships. as an older member of the site, to read that shes just 19 with 2 children frm different fathers, even if it was just one guy too.. first thing i said to myself " if it happened twice already, she could have been more careful". if she was on birthcontrol like you suggest then after the first two she could have switched to something a lil stronger?
and yea your right...i dont know her situation and neither does anyone else i based my reply on what little she gave.

the most important people right now are the kids, they are 2 and 3 barely babies. their not going to get alot of that critical interaction they need from their mom at that age. my mom worked 11 hour days, she thouht she was doing a good thing for me andmy lil bro by providing for us...but we wanted the interaction with our mother instead. now that were older it took us a wile to establish that bond that should have been there naturally. now with 3 kids its going to be super hard and shes going to need help, and not necesseraly from the baby daddys. so shes going to have to trust just a little in people.


i didnt say those things to be mean...i said them because im realistic and honest. and she did ask for any input or advice shes going to get good critisism, and bad critisism. its better to see things frm both perspectives cause it helps you establish your own and what you should do. sometimes you have to hear the things you dont want to but believe you me it helps a whole lot to keep an open mind about it.

as for ALL guys being butt heads? i understand why you despise them. weve all been screwed over before and we all naturally avert the things that can cause us pain. but just cause one did it...doesnt mean you can treat others the same. and yea you can think im defending men if you want lol im not sexist is all. girls do it to. she can keep trusting men if she wants...thats her choice. but think of your kids first..no man is above your kids

Have you thought about adoption. You have a lot going on right now and maybe this would be a good choice. Contrary to what some may believe, unwed parents who place their children for adoption are not taking “the easy way out” or abandoning their responsibility. Instead, they are placing the needs of their children before their own feelings and desires—the essence of true parenthood. Such a decision is deserving of the highest commendation and respect.
Best of luck in whatever you decide.

Why does it have to be so hard??? why do the fathers think its ok to abandon their children??? any insight feel free to reply.. I will give you my insight to your question..... First, I want to congradulate you on going to school and for making such a great choice for your profession. As a single mom I know how difficult that can be...

To answer your first question from my perspective.. Life is very very hard, but the harder it gets the stronger we are. Look at each baby as a miracle! Your babies are lucky to have such a strong smart mom. You are a great role model which makes me believe your children will admire you for this, and it will give them strength!! In the 'mean' time now I am sure life may seem very hard, but you're getting through it one day at a time. It should pay off in the future when you have finished school and are working full time and you look back and wonder.. HOW DID I DO IT!? But you did!

As far as the men leaving.. All I have to say is ARG! I don't know what is wrong with some men. You sound like such a smart lady and you make good choices. Yes you will have three children.. I know what you mean about feeling lonely and wanting to meet someone else. I am single too mom too, but right now I am focusing on my child and loving her and trying not to do any male searching till later and no sex till I think I could have another baby (cause it happens).. Maybe someday, but I am going to be veryy careful. The last guy I was with was for 4 years and he left when I got pregnant. So now move forward with what you have..

JUST THINK YOU GET ALL OF THE HUGS ALL OF THE KISSES ALL OF THE I LOVE YOU MOMS and you don't have to share them!

Where are you from? Are there support groups? Do you have family and friend support?

christa.. is this the only adivce you have.. its the same post everytime. is that really all you have to say to people? give your kids up? Shes asking why men are jerks and cant take responsibility.

o please stop judging her life people what's wrong with people in the world always want to have diggs ? Please dont give up your children you are doing really well going back to school i really admire you, life is what you make of it and sometimes life throws things at you beyond your control but the little miracles are what gets you up in the morning they are your babies they will love you no matter what just be there for them and keep up the wonderful job your doing as a mum, as for the kids fathers just think ur kids will have a better bond when they are older they won't know any different they are siblings through and through..xx

Men can be jerks, especially when they are forced into fatherhood. That is why you have to wait until one commits to you and wants to have a baby with you before you have a child.

I am sorry but the blame falls primarily on this mother. She is the one who allowed herself to become pregnant by three different fathers. Where is her common sense? When you have that many kids by different fathers, you are going to get judged by other men as being fast and loose. I have to agree with worriedauzzi on this one. She has obviously had the third child since she posted. Let's hope she has learned her lesson now and doesn't get pregnant again, but at her age, she still hasn't even found the man she will marry, and having three kids won't make that much easier for her. I hope she starts taking responsibility for her body, her kids, and goes after the fathers for their share of the support. I would hardly call her a good role model for her children at this point. I don't know too many mothers who want this for their daughters. But she can take steps now to change things, and make sure this never happens again. It's going to be a long hard road from here on, but it's a road she chose for herself. You can't totally blame the men. If you offer it up, they are going to take it...PERIOD.

I live in a 30 unit building for single mom's, (no men alowd to live here). Alot of us have had second and third children since moving here, none have moved out with a dad and few have contact. What is the reason, maybe we have patterens in the guy's we choose, maybe few people are mature enough to step up to the plate. I am thankful my daughter has one good parent. With my disfunctional family I had none. You are on the rite path going to school, (so am I). And I am not afraid of a hand out. I have spent summers on welfair, (Canadian)just to keep my stress from making me crazy and for giving me time to bond, a luxury!Having them close together will tax you now, but later they will entertain each other and comfort each other. I often wish I had more children after my daughter. I aborted one child because the dad was getting abusive and he wanted be too involved, and it turned out a great partner is not always a good father, I wouldn't change a thing if I had to do that again.

I have to reply to my own above. I am trying to be quick and it shows. My post is scatter brained and has mistakes.
Correction I aborted a fetus, just to be accurate and I would make *that* choice again if I was in that situation. He went crazy when I said I was pregnant violent and abusive, and I left.I had knowen him ten years before we began dating, he was my friend.
I personaly don't want to marry any one. It is silly, expencif and garentees nothing! The same level of commitment can be agreed on other ways and in marriage the same problems arise. People change their minds and forget to be faithful or nice.

theres no need to be rude esp. if you arent the original poster or lacked in reading the original post. she asked for any and ALL insight not just the ones that are going to make her feel better. if she gets offended by what others say its between HER and the other person.no one is here to be judged so remember that when you speak.

I was not being rude and that poster was judging her and its obvious that you too are judging her otherwise you wouldn't of told me off for putting in my two cents about how people reply purely for argument sake and not to help the person out who is in need of guidance. I do not see a problem in standing up for a young girl who posts about her feelings of emptyness and great sadness who then gets degraded by fellow poster's on this site designed to help people not judge people.