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Single for 8 years. Very depressed.

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December 6th, 2011
Hi all, I have been single for 8 years now and have not had a girlfriend since I was 16 years old. Being 24 years old now.

I am very depressed but I do nothing to try and get a girlfriend. I don't try to pick up girls in bars. I have a few things going on in my life which I've actually now posted about on this site.

I worry about talking to girls, I worry they will like me. I worry about taking girls home with me because I know how weird and awkward with them I am. I try so hard to not get into a relationship with any girl because I know I will be weird and it won't last. That I just get too nervous.

Among this I am also a pre-mature ejaculator. This is a big reason as to why I don't try to pick up girls. But I am awkward around everyone anyway, even my family. I am a true freak.

I am constantly told I am very good looking, with a few girls I know when I was on holiday telling me how hot I looked and that I'd really "come of age". But I don't care, I tell them it's not about looks but they say I have the personality too, I don't know. I'd rather be someone else. Someone normal.

I am not suicidal, I want to live forever. I love the idea of being alive. Never would I ever contemplate suicide!! Just so you know :)

I just wonder when I'll get a girlfriend if ever. I don't think I can solve my premature ejaculation without a woman to help me through.

Please your thoughts. Am I a hopeless case? I think my family worry about the fact I have not had a girlfriend. They probably think I'm gay, which I'm not.

So please. Any advice?
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FadedRose
replied December 10th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi signle,

Make an appointment with a urologist to help you with the pre-ejaculation issue. Once you get that resolved, start saying, "I do want a girlfriend, I do want to befriend girls, I do want to be around girls. Change the mandra from I don't want to to I do want to.

Good Luck,

Faded Rose
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smile584
replied December 14th, 2011
Hi
Hey wwaarrddy!
Well I think the main problems that your facing it’s the lack of a girlfriend. It seems that after been alone for 8 years had hurt you mentally and physically. I don't think you need professional help at all just someone that could love you for the way you are. I wonder during those 8 years have you ever fallen in love at all? ...

Life is hard but it is also beautiful when we learn to see the imperfect things perfectly. You need to encourage yourself. Be more positive and open-minded.

All the answers are "inside of you". Take some time out look at the beauty of nature, birds etc. It could help you to see things differently.

Feeling awkward around people why?? ..You need to increase your self-esteem and look at yourself as the BEST assets that you own... Everyday when you wake up look at the mirror and say positive words to yourself.

Set yourself free of negative thoughts and learn to fight weakness so you can become a stronger person physically and mentally. Don't lock yourself and start interacting with girls your never know if you meet your soul mate. Hope this helped.
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wwaarrddy
replied December 16th, 2011
Thanks for your offers, I will certainly take up the help when I can. I have been in love before, I know it for a fact and I had to tell her even before.

I was always in love with her. Everything about her I loved. It didn't bother me about her imperfections because when I was just around her all my awkwardness would disappear and I could be the man I thought I could be around her.

This was a while ago and I've always kept in touch with her, but a few years ago she started seeing us (as in my group of friends) again cause she didn't see us all that much and was very distant. But she acted like she didn't even know me when all our friends were together, even though I'd kept in touch the most. I know I had, cause nobody ever invited her to Birthdays etc but I always did.

Anyway I couldn't take how little she seemed to know me, and I had to tell her how I felt. It didn't help and now she treats me even more distant than before. But I've moved on from her now, I don't want her anymore. But if I trusted this girl whom I knew all my life and she basically destroyed me, what will people who don't know me think.

We used to get on so well, and she was the only one who made me feel normal and ok. I don't want to see here again but I will have to cause she hangs with my friends now but I can't leave cause I can't make new friends.

I dunno, I don't think anyone can love me for how I am or the way I am. I'm a loner I think for life.
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