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Single and lonely (Page 1)

I am so lonely and unhappy I don't know what to do. I have been single for 4 years and all my friends are married/engaged/in a long term relationship. I have lots of interests and don't sit around doing nothing all the time, but I still come back to and empty house, I go to bed alone, wake up alone, cook alone, have nobody to make weekend plans with. It's even got to the point where seeing my friends upsets me because they are so happy in their relationships.

I have tried lots of things over the years - speed dating, asking friends to set me up (they don't have any more single friends), moving house, changing flat mates,taking up new hobbies,I've taken antidepressants, I've more recently moved jobs and moved cities in an attempt to meet new people. But nothing has worked. I cry myself to sleep most nights because I'm so unhappy and I don't know how to stop the unhappiness.

Does anybody have any advice? It would be much appreciated.

Thanks
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First Helper Lonely111
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replied January 12th, 2009
Supporter
Try arranged marrages they help allot speccially in my culture becuase you learn to love rather than try to love and it goes into peeses
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replied March 29th, 2011
I feel for you all and I hope that the TS found love. I feel lonely as well and I am single. My heart at the moment is overflowing with salt tears.So much that I typed in google Single and Lonely and I hoped to find advice and some relief. It hurts. It is the empty house, my empty arms. My unused voice because I can not talk. My house is so silent that it hurts my ears. Everything in me cries. Sometimes I try to be thankful for all that I have and my family and friends are still alive and quite healthy. It is just that there is no man who is there for me. When I get out of the office I fall into a deep gap and I have to quickly think of what I can do to fill up time between office and going to bed. Sometimes I try to make myself tired and just drive around, walk around, meet people, sports, dance, looking on the internet for the next party or concert. But when I am home I feel hurt. I feel guilt towards God who has given me so much, why would I still not be happy?
It is not logical. I am a very beatiful Arab woman, I am mid thirties, twenty years of dancing experience made me a good oriental I feel for you all and I hope that the TS found love. I feel lonely as well and I am single. My heart at the moment is overflowing with salt tears.So much that I typed in google Single and Lonely and I hoped to find advice and some relief. It hurts. It is the empty house, my empty arms. My unused voice because I can not talk. My house is so silent that it hurts my ears. Everything in me cries. Sometimes I try to be thankful for all that I have and my family and friends are still alive and quite healthy. It is just that there is no man who is there for me. When I get out of the office I fall into a deep gap and I have to quickly think of what I can do to fill up time between office and going to bed. Sometimes I try to make myself tired and just drive around, walk around, meet people, sports, dance, looking on the internet for the next party or concert. But when I am home I feel hurt. I feel guilt towards God who has given me so much, why would I still not be happy?and latin dancer, University degree, I speak 6 languages fluently, I have all the material things which I need to make me happy, I try to do good to people in order to get compensation from God (Allah). You would say that men are all around. No it is not. They do not call me. they do not invite me. they stay on their distance and only watch and pass by. I feel like there is a glass wall around me and I am in a cocoon and trying to call them but my throat gets dry and thick. I feel pain, real pain. I have to try to get myself to sleep. I can not call anyone, they have their partners with them at this hour. It is past midnight. Silence is yelling and crying in my ears.
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replied April 11th, 2011
Give all of that hurt and pain to God. Let Him take away those feelings and He be 1st in your life. Once He does I know then and only then will He allow a mate to come in your life. Once you realize you need God more than man. Believe me I know how you feel. Im dealing with the same issue. By me advising you this I'm taking a dose of it for myself. Time for me to put God before wanting a man to feel a void that only God can.
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replied December 9th, 2012
Hi,
Your tears are not unseen they're as rain drops in the garden. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for you (JESUS ) your rod and staff that comfort me. The word valley means lonely and depressed place, the word shadow means spiritual ignorance. When our loneliness consumes us our hearts weigh us down. A cheerful heart is good medicine! I pray the Shepard of the soul makes your heart dance and His light causes those tears to flourish. Sure it's nice to hear you're beautiful, you mean allot to me. Everyday God screams that from the rising of the son, to the birds singing, to the flowers and fresh breeze. I say these words as a single man. Because singleness is a place to find wholeness as a relationship is merely a compliment to our existence not the essence of our wholeness. Many get divorces as two broken people will not heal one and other! God bless you!
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replied June 8th, 2012
WTH? Why would you give that advice to ANYONE? let alone people who clearly just need to be loved?! Just so wrong.
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replied June 19th, 2012
God Helps
I feel better when I turn to god for love knowing that he is there for me and that I am never alone. I was married for thirteen years and I am now divorced for two years now, after my husband was using drugs and alcohol, I turned to god for answers he answered my prayers and moved me to another state away from all of the bad around me. Although, I am living alone and nights do get too quiet sometimes I forget, I am not alone. I open up my journal write and listen to god. Thank You for posting newdoors it reminded me:) I cannot rely on people for love I have to love myself first and god always loves me. I will never search for love in other places unless it is right and I will feel it when it is:)
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replied January 12th, 2009
Experienced User
HEY!

LOL I wish someone could arrange for me to be married..

Have you tried online dating? Even if you do the online dating thing atleast you will come home and be able to chat with someone online or on the phone even if its not 'long term' That way you will have the oppourtunity to figure out what you want Smile

I have actually given up on looking and hope maybe someone will find me someday.. LOL
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replied February 1st, 2009
Experienced User
Lonely111,
Loneliness is sometimes a self-perpetuating condition, that is to say, we are lonely, we stay alone and we don't stop being alone. But loneliness is many times considered like inertia meaning that if our social life is at rest it may tend to stay at rest, but if it is in motion it will stay in motion.

Just what the heck am I trying to say, you need to put aside that you are currently (note I said currently) alone and join clubs or groups or even the local gym to get out there and meet people. If you can meet folks through shared interests then this a great first step in getting some communication going and take it from there. No one is going to hand a partner over to you, you have to be out there so that a partner can gravitate to you and vice-versa.

Good luck and remember you are not alone if you have a friend, and when you communicate in this forum you have friends (me being one of them!)

Wendy
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replied March 25th, 2009
Single and lonely
I have had similar feelings, tried enough things...didn't work, including (in particular) online dating. The New Year's loneliness is something I experience each year, even when I had a girlfriend. There's just something about New Year's eve, the crowdedness, the fireworks, the cheering and forced happiness that make me want to throw up...

But I think there should be comfort in that one can still be happy and have a meaningful life without a mate. There's always these "research results" in the newspapers that tell that people with mate are happier. I think they do that because they get paid by dating sites (=big business)...and they forget to tell how many people are miserable in their relationship. Really I think it's the outside world that is always telling "get a mate, get a mate" and spending lots of attention to sex because it sells. I think we would be happier without the media. Of course we all have that internal desire too and as long as I'm not over 50 I intend to keep looking for love, but only every now and then.

Floris
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replied June 2nd, 2009
Supporter
i moved from philly to jacksonville, florida two years ago not knowing anyone. it's just me and my son.
i have a b/f, but that's about it.

i think you have to put yourself out there. for example a long time ago i met really nice guys on a dating hotline.
you should also subscribe to myspace. these two things ive mentioned you can meets friends from.
put yourself out there.

you have married people that feel alone, you have couples that feel alone. my b/f travels and he's always away, so i feel alone alot.

when your not looking for someone that's when your going to find someone.
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replied July 27th, 2009
Hey Lonely111,

I hope you are less lonely now than you were at the start of the year. I feel the same way as you do (did?) - I have tried everything to improve my chances of meeting someone who I can share my life with, but it's proved so difficult in my 30s.

I have no magic advice, I just wanted to say that I empathise

veebs x
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replied February 4th, 2010
Im often noticing attractive people, men and women... And think to myself, how lucky are you that you have never had to go through the pain of finding a partner to spend a great life with... Sure the agrument may be double edged sword of stating it's hard to find true love, because they are often seemed for their looks rather than their hearts, but as any lonely man such as myself can testify that it's (comparibly to a rich man saying money isn't everything when you have it) one of the worst feelngs in life. I'm 35 now, losing all hope of having someone to spend my life with, and it's becoming a consuming feeling. My last girlfriend (when I was 30) was ten years younger... As beautiful as she was, the premise of starting a famlily was too much for her to fathom... I digress, 5 years later, I try to fill the void with toys, gadgets, things I do not need, anything to boost my morale because I'm facing a life of loneliness... The quick judgemental reaction from most is, your too picky, or... You don't get out enough... I wish that was the case, I inturn feel thAT because of the bs media society, I'm faced with women that would need to be either very handsome, rich, or be the funniest man alive... Though exadurating m point... The facts are, I'm not ugly, nor poor, nor the man who will make you laugh all day... I'm an average looking Joe that has enough money to get by and have enough humour in me to make any one have a giggle... Ok, life story over, I wish you and me a miracle... In these days, I believe we'll need it
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replied February 22nd, 2010
lonely
looks don't mean that much .. I have been told that I am above average .. even beautiful but I am still lonely and alone.. just me and my dog. I just got out of a failed marriage and all the great looks in the world do not help when you are sleeping alone at night and feel like you are at the end of the world. I would give anything for a soulmate, a friend, companion. I have friends but it is not the same as having that special someone in your life. I thought I had that for over 10 years but I was wrong. The minute I had a problem he ran so fast from me that it made my head spin. I stuck by him when he had cancer .. jobs problems and other things. I feel so deep in a hole I don't know what to do. I feel for you all out there, I really, really do.
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replied May 16th, 2010
Wow cabokes I am similar to you. The few men I really cared for and stood by ditched me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Maybe my Knight in Shining Armor will come rescue me one day. lol Until then I have a son and 3 dogs that keep me smiling. =) It's nice to know I'm not alone in this.
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replied May 31st, 2010
I feel the same way
I have to agree with cabokees...looks don't mean that much. I am 29 and well on my way to 30. I've been told I'm beautiful, I've been told I look 24. I've been told I'm such a sweet, kind person. I've been told I'm a great catch. But I'm still by myself, with just my cats. I have only had 3 very short relationships (two were 2 months long, one was 6 months) in 3 1/2 years, and prior to that I was married and cheated on. I've been alone for the last year and a half.

It's really hard watching people go in and out of relationships, or seeing people find someone, or listening to my happily married friends...and then knowing I may not ever find that. I wish I knew what the answer was. And I wish I knew what was wrong with me. A lot of days I feel like there just has to be something wrong with me. I'm just as worthy as everyone else, but yet it never happens for me. I don't know why. Sad
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replied September 12th, 2010
i have the same problem, in addition to that i often lie about my own feelings, saying i don't really care or just come what may...but i think there is something wrong with me, maybe the way i dress, my personality or whatever. Is it wrong to think that if there is someone "for" me, shouldn't he love me for what I am?
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replied January 3rd, 2012
I know right??
I'm think same as you do. I tell people that I don't really care and I am thankful for the way I am, but I am not. I am not at all thankful nor happy. Maybe it is the way I dress. Maybe it's my personality that a girl feels comfortable to have as a friend and nothing more. Every girl I tend to like / love, tells me that I am a great guy and a great friend and that she has not had any romantic feelings for me. I am tired. I am only 25 and I am tired.. All I want is to be in love with someone and grow old with her.

Too much to ask??
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replied November 10th, 2010
Im not sure if this is depressing or helpfull.I myself dont want to be alone anymore and I wont settle for just anyone.I felt that I did that when I got married made many mistaks,I was not happy with myself so I figure thats my problem Im fifty now.
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replied January 22nd, 2011
lonely and hating every minute of it...
I feel all of you guys' pain, I wish we could all be friends and hang out and comfort one another, be each other's own support group. In my situation, I have been single for about 10 years and I haven't had a long lasting relationship when i did have someone in my life. I've never been able to get past 5 months, and now just about all of my buddies are married and or are parents. I come from a two parent home and my parents are still married(over 40 years) and my siblings are 10 years older than me so i've had some advantages to growing up and maturing in ways that i probably wouldn't if I didn't have them in my life. Yet, they(my siblings) have kids, though neither of them married and I have nothing and no one. I live in an apartment and I don't necessarily want a pet in an apartment but I see how it could combat some of the loneliness for a while. I've got two friends who live with each other and they don't seem to understand me when i say that i'm lonely, they think because i'm a guy that i should simply "get over it" or "you'll be alright". Between Lonelyheart and the creator of this post, i feel you guys the most because I have put myself out there, I am not rich, i'm not uber handsome and i'm not omg hilarious. Funny thing is that I get told that all the time by women, that i'm hilarious or that I'm extremely funny but it gets me nowhere. I can't go backwards and all of the sudden start behaving like the jerk that women went for to a guy in his 20's. I've been the nice guy my whole life and for me to be 30 and try to be a jerk just to get women makes me look immature and bitter, of which i am neither. I'm average and I can't even find average women, they are all "creeped out" so easily about anything and everything and they want those things that men were condemned for wanting. They want arm and eye candy, they want associated status, they want surface and nothing more. All the women i've met want to be rescued but none will allow for a regular fireman/policeman to save them. The savior has to be shirtless and washboard abs and dam near look like ryan reynolds(not hating on reynolds, i think homeboy is cool)
my loneliness has me praying empty prayers to God who i wonder if He listens and says to Himself, "Son, free will is free" thus if a mate for me doesn't freely will herself to be with me, then i'm alone bound and then what? I want kids, i want a family, a house turned into a home and i don't want to have to be on millionaire matchmaker for that to happen.

God be with us all in the search for unified bliss.
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replied February 12th, 2011
IS EVERYONE BROKEN??

I'm a single, 35 yr old man who's recently divorced after six years of marriage. I'm feeling completely isolated even though I fare much better than most with women. I find casual sex to be depressing, often dislike dating, and feel chronically uninspired by the women I meet, or even see from a distance. One problem is that my ex wife, though mentally ill (borderline personality disorder), is/was supermodel gorgeous, brilliant, sparkly, funny as hell, and oh yeah, a gold record winning musician; pretty impressive gal, ie my expectations are through-the-roof. I know this senario may not invoke much sympathy (just lower your expectations buddy) but you can't change who you're attracted to. Therefore I find myself at a buffet with little appetite.
More to the point though, I've come across a really disturbing observation - my apparent dating pool (27-34, unusually attractive, intelligent, talented, well-educated) has an extremely high incidence of emotional trauma and disfunction, severe enough to be apparent on the first date. Now I know men have the tendency to lable all their ex's as 'crazy', but I'm actually a professional therapist and I swear I'm not jumping the gun on these judgements. Here's my experience thus far:
- Four self-identified Borderlines (sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder)
- Five very beautiful and intelligent women who show nearly all the symptoms associated with Borderline PD
- A beautiful and highly successful artist who cuts herself to distract from the pain of childhood sexual abuse
- Three very attractive women with serious addictions to drugs and/or alcohol
- Six very attractive and intelligent women who are so emotionally frail, afraid of rejection, and who admitted to be so terrified by the thought of intimacy that they haven't been able to sustain a relationship beyond a month for the past several years.
- A Brazilian model and brilliant artist and chef who is so terrified of rejection and certain of betrayal that she'd fly into a fury every time another woman so much as 'Liked' something I posted on Facebook. Oh and she also admitted to being terrified by intimacy.
- A beautiful soap opera actress who is addicted to an ex who beats her and calls her a wh*re
- A beautiful and successful musician who is addicted to an ex who beats her and calls her a wh*re
- A beautiful, classy, and intelligent lawyer who is addicted to an ex who beats her and calls her a wh*re

There are more too. So yes, I've been very fortunate in being able to attract women who other men (at least initially) desire, but am quickly faced with overwhelming emotional problems which make a successful relationship near-impossible. Through this all, I am left with this question: Is everybody broken?
I realize the more likely explanation is that:
-In my dating pool, it is the emotionally-unbalanced who will make up the largest percentage (severe emotional problems tend to lead to chronic single-ness)
-The more beautiful a woman is, the more likely she is to have severe emotional problems (being sexualized since puberty [or sadly, and increasingly it seems well-prior to puberty] takes its toll)
-The unusually talented, intelligent and creative ststistically tend to have more emotional/psychiatric problems
So, this leaves me with a multi-part problem: I am only attracted to unusually attractive, intelligent, and talented women; most of whom will statistically tend to be so emotionally damaged as to be impossible options for long-term relationships. And no, before you say it, I am not meeting these women at 'Loonies 'R Us' : ) In fact I've met them in various ways ranging from introductions, work associations, out in public and dating sites, to occasional clubs/bars

So, even though you might feel:
"Oh poor guy, he dates hot women who are crazy"
"Just lower your standards"
"We all have problems, don't be so judgemental"

I still have a problem here which is causing me real pain and in need of a solution. Did I mention that I'm so lonely it's killing me? I want connection, true love, family, marriage, forever. How am I ever going to find it? Are my experiences shared by other men? Am I looking at all this wrong?
(Please-please, no quippy responses Smile
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replied June 22nd, 2011
Hi Disconnected,

I am a woman. Smile

I think you are generalizing. I could make the same statements about the men I have dated. However, I know all to well that there are fabulously mentally stable people out there too, both men and women.

I am one of those women who have been called "crazy" by my ex. Well, he was abusive to me. Count that as a possible reason why some men might call their exes crazy, because they are deflecting blame and/or projecting. Not all men are abusive, of course, just some.

I would also call my ex "crazy", although I never actually did that to his face because it's verbal abuse. I thought to myself he was crazy because he really did very "crazy" things, both to himself and to me, some of which were physically hurtful.

I think correlating beauty to insanity is pretty insane. Again, generalizing. I know beautiful people who are perfectly stable, both genders.

It's actually insulting.

As a therapist, you should know better -you are GENERALIZING -a common cognitive distortion on your part because you've been hit by bad experiences in your dating life and keep meeting these dysfunctional women.

What you should be looking at is your propensity to attract "craziness" in your life. Maybe it's exciting for you? You are drama-addicted, you like traumatic bonding? Perhaps you are trying to resolve childhood conflicts in your current relationships?

I would recommend a good psychoanalyst for you. Therapy rocks! You must know that.

And you must believe that you can change your patterns of attraction and fall in love with someone a little more "boring". Smile I mean, stable. Yes, there are women who are stable out there. Who take care of their mental health, invest in learning about self-awareness, etc. etc. AND who are intelligent, attractive, etc. etc..

PS I am lonely too btw, and it's killing me too. So, I still keep trucking. As one of the posters said on here, HAVE FAITH! Smile Love will come if you are patient and do not lose faith. Easier said than done. Stay in the present. Vent. Do what it takes. Get support from friends and family. But most of all, DO NOT GENERALIZE!
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replied July 18th, 2011
Alone and lonely . . . .
You need an "older" woman . . . . . . One with "morals" . . . . . . I too am terribly lonely.
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replied June 8th, 2012
lmao!!!!!!!!!
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replied September 14th, 2011
Try finding what you want at fifty.Its worse. You have the onset of monopause and all the baggage that comes with age. Plus most women have left them self go by then. Any women that looks good over 50 is being well kept by some one with money and they just want security and they still won't be happy ! I do not have any answers but cintinue to search for the answer. I crave be in a Loving relationship but just can't find. One question I have is a 90% of my friends that are married are miserable and unhappy. They all want to be single and tell me I have it made. I am sorry I don't have an answer for you but I feel your pain...
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replied June 14th, 2012
Professional Analyzer
All of us carry some degree of flaw and none are perfect. Are you able to just date someone and enjoy the moment without all of the analyzing?
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replied July 2nd, 2012
Re; Disconnected
Hi Disconnected,

Maybe you already found that someone by now, and yes maybe you are generalising... but I truly agree with pretty women and being sexualised at an early aged, because I was one of them. I am pretty short but told every other time about how beautiful I am, and I never have a man look at me not more than once.

I had men get attracted to me when I was still very young, and in all my school life I always dated the most popular guy. I was sexually abused as a child and its a trauma I have to live with every day. To reduce the attraction, I did all sort of self image destruction things as a teenager, I ate tooth paste so now I suffer from fluorisis(though might veneer later), I rubbed my eyes so hard so they would be red, but I only ended up with small dark spots in every eye and one is dissappearing, I picked on my skin, ate average 10 cookies a day(dental carries) but still skinny to wade attention, somehow even with my now not so attractive features, I still hear it from people but I dont believe it so bad, that when a guy tells me that I say that he is drunk.

I am lonely all my friends have their lives going on with their super sweet boyfriends and fiancees. I was in a relationship that made me so unhappy as the guy reduced my esteem to 0, as I was never good enough, I loved him massively. Maybe the failure of this relationship did contribute to my sense of Rejectionphobia. I feel like just that kind of woman who men just want to sleep with and not be in a relationship, sometimes I wonder, what do those women have that I dont?

I feel and understand the pain of everyone, but just as comfort, and as a person who was in a very depressive relationship, we d rather be single than be with someone who makes us cry Smile
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replied July 25th, 2012
not a package
How silly. You should be looking for women you can talk to, women you feel physical chemistry with, women you feel comfortable around, can laugh with, can spend hours with talking to and cuddling and saying nothing at all. A woman doesn't have to be "unusually attractive and intelligent and talented" for that. If you're drawn to attractive, intelligent, talented women, fine. I'm attracted to the same in men. But I have no problem dating a man who's ten or fifteen or twenty pounds overweight, etc. I mean, come on. How many people are 10's in EVERY AREA of their lives? You haven't mentioned dating a single woman who was homely but "talented". You should be looking for someone who's your match, not for a "package".

The Satisfied Single (TM)

thesatisfiedsingle.blogspot.com
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replied February 12th, 2011
broken...yes and completely unattached, the people are.
disconnected, if you haven't already, you should write a book and let me get in on that with you. Your post was hilariously entertaining but not at your expense, i don't jest at your pain, but at your perception because you have done what, as you stated, i only can dream of but i have seen it in the lower average man level, meaning a fairly beautiful woman falling victim to her own attractiveness due to no one telling her how to be a woman who is beautiful woman and thus sexualized way earlier than what would have happened naturally as she bloomed and blossomed. I agree with you 100 percent because most women don't see that men, with our tough rough exteriors, we fight to keep our insecurities secure enough to not run a woman away with our worries of, "is she going to leave me" every man isn't an alpha male and dog gone it, that metephore is really getting on my nerves. If animals were as humans mentally then they would have no need for alpha male dominance because there would be choice and preferrences but to continue the bloodline of these animals for continued strength survival, that alpha dom is put into practice. Believe in Him or not, God knew what He was doing with animals and the same with mankind. Now how is it that we as a species of elevated level of intelligence, adopt a mantra of lower thought level to where women respond to "alpha male" behavior and unfortunately for all omega males, it works for them(the alphas) and the omega men are left waiting for their omega turn. Have I lost any of you yet? I'm just saying now that disconnect has brought it to the light, i agree, and it could be stated on both genders. The most gorgeous of men can be considered "dumb" or highly shallow and vain or "douchey" lol. A problem that I have is that our society is massively mind controlled by media projections of what's acceptable and desirable. I like connection as well and it seems that people just want to look at your face and if you don't look like exhibit a b or c then d is none of the above option and most choose that one. I hope i make sense but "disconnected" dude i freaking love you, your post was extemely wondeful to read and inspired me to respond...which i have...now i must go and be a geek in silence Very Happy
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replied March 13th, 2011
I'm in my late thirties and is losing hope to find a nice guy. I've broken up with my bf for many years, a major decision because of my age I should have clung to him, but something has made me decide to do it.
I'm happy with the way I am, I have a fulfilling job, though not a stable one. But sometimes I can't help to think of what will become of me when the time comes that I'm all alone (I'm still living with my elderly parents).
I don't know you guys, but in Asia, a lot of pressure is on the shoulder of single women. They kind of pity you when you're single.
Lucky you guys who are still young, you still have enough time to look for Mr. Right.
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replied March 22nd, 2011
IMO, better to be single albeit lonely, yet true to yourself and not succumbing to having to settle for its own sake, than to settle for someone you don't really love then have to hardsell yourself that exact situation.

Insatiabilities will always be there either way i guess. Although most people will agree having someone is better than having no one, nothing wrong in believing the alternative either.

My perspective is that whether married or not, true bliss evades the greater majority. Many married couples feel lonely and empty even after marriage (think 7 year itch) sometimes having children sealing the marriage doesn't really change things too. Do you know anyone who feels empty after making out, or empty after they have achieved socially defined rungs of happiness? I do.

Do i offer any solutions? Not really. I guess thats when chemistry comes into play. The want to go the extra mile for someone else... Some people turn to religion, others turn to physical activity like gymming or rock climbing or some other sport or activity some other someplace.

Too many permutations to fully statistify them all tbh...

Just be jovial and good natured. It'll come when it comes. And get a cuddle cushion to wait for that eventuality in the mean time...

Cheers and Good luck!
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replied April 13th, 2011
Single and Lonely
Let me tell you all that being lonely in a relationship is the worst loneliness of all. I choose to leave a longterm relationship because I wasn't happy. I find it hard at the minute being on my own but at least all opportunities are open for me, and for you, to find true and lasting love. You will meet someone....hang in there!
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replied March 22nd, 2011
You are lonely is not because you are simply lonely (need normal friends). It is because you have a medical condition - you are depressed.

One's depression can impact his/her companion psychologically. Mood, just like the virus, can be transmitted from one to another during the interaction between companions or friends in their daily life for long period of time. A lot of the psychiatrists/psychologists they need their peers to take care of themselves.

I feel sorry for my spouse because of me.

You can do the following instead:

1. seeking for medical professional help.
2. Self meditation.

I take medicines when it becomes ready bad. I do meditation before sleep, during commute, or at work.

Good luck.
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replied March 29th, 2011
Salt rubbed into my wounded heart
I feel for you all and I hope that the TS found love. I feel lonely as well and I am single. My heart at the moment is overflowing with salt tears.So much that I typed in google Single and Lonely and I hoped to find advice and some relief. It hurts. It is the empty house, my empty arms. My unused voice because I can not talk. My house is so silent that it hurts my ears. Everything in me cries. Sometimes I try to be thankful for all that I have and my family and friends are still alive and quite healthy. It is just that there is no man who is there for me. When I get out of the office I fall into a deep gap and I have to quickly think of what I can do to fill up time between office and going to bed. Sometimes I try to make myself tired and just drive around, walk around, meet people, sports, dance, looking on the internet for the next party or concert. But when I am home I feel hurt. I feel guilt towards God who has given me so much, why would I still not be happy?
It is not logical. I am a very beatiful Arab woman, I am mid thirties, twenty years of dancing experience made me a good oriental I feel for you all and I hope that the TS found love. I feel lonely as well and I am single. My heart at the moment is overflowing with salt tears.So much that I typed in google Single and Lonely and I hoped to find advice and some relief. It hurts. It is the empty house, my empty arms. My unused voice because I can not talk. My house is so silent that it hurts my ears. Everything in me cries. Sometimes I try to be thankful for all that I have and my family and friends are still alive and quite healthy. It is just that there is no man who is there for me. When I get out of the office I fall into a deep gap and I have to quickly think of what I can do to fill up time between office and going to bed. Sometimes I try to make myself tired and just drive around, walk around, meet people, sports, dance, looking on the internet for the next party or concert. But when I am home I feel hurt. I feel guilt towards God who has given me so much, why would I still not be happy?and latin dancer, University degree, I speak 6 languages fluently, I have all the material things which I need to make me happy, I try to do good to people in order to get compensation from God (Allah). You would say that men are all around. No it is not. They do not call me. they do not invite me. they stay on their distance and only watch and pass by. I feel like there is a glass wall around me and I am in a cocoon and trying to call them but my throat gets dry and thick. I feel pain, real pain. I have to try to get myself to sleep. I can not call anyone, they have their partners with them at this hour. It is past midnight. Silence is yelling and crying in my ears.
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replied April 29th, 2011
My fiancée (she) broke up with me (called off the engagement) 2 months ago...a few weeks before that she even suggested a wedding date (coming summer). She said she was not ready, and she didn't deserve a guy like me....I knew she had issues, but she started noticing them herself....anyways bla bla bla.

I am thankful she called it off, cause our marriage would have been a nightmare, at the same time hurt and kind of depressed...I dont know what is actually worse, a break up or the feeling of loneliness.

Now I have started to find myself again, setting goals in life, becoming closer to God. I believe there is someone for everyone out there....you have to change yourself, learn to love yourself....and than others will love you. I know it is easier said than done, but this is how I see it. You have to broaden your mind, become a more easier person, less complex.....at the same time maintaining dignity and goals in your life.

Find anything that will give you hope!!! and build on it.
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replied May 6th, 2013
I went speed dating last month. That really helped me out. I feel lonely also, a lot... with speed dating you meet so many new people in one night, it just makes you feel different.
You should try it out.
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