Have you ever read the book "He's just not that into you' ? Its a good book. It tells the truth. You should really check it out That way you can see the signs as to if he is or if he isn't..

How long were you together?

thats irrelevant I think and besides its a long and complicated story. I just want to know some definiate signs a male may show that he's still holding on.

I know this is guy's chat, but no one else seems to care either

Larlen, do you want to be back with this guy? I get what you're going through, but you need to ask yourself if you really want to get with this guy or not. Once you decide for yourself that this is really best for you, then you should take whatever you decide to your guy. If you want to get back together then ask what he thinks. If he says no, then you've got your answer and if you can't move on with him acting all drunk and in your face then you're going to have to avoid him for awhile until you're ready to deal with that.

As for signals, guys can send just as messed up signals as girls.

the problem is I did that right after the break-up - the whole begging and pleading. And then I let go and ignored him but he kept in contact. If I were to do what you say, this will be the 2nd time I'd get shot down not to mention totally embaressed and ashamed.

Begging and pleading?

Goodness did I say that? No, you make him make the decision. Friends or more than friends-- Not friends-who-mess-around-when-he-wants.

Again, this isn't begging and pleading. It's you saying that either the two of you stay together or he keeps his hands off.

Please do not post threads in the Men's Chat unless you are a male. Though it is true that I assumed you were a female from the start due to the name and the way you label "male".

Can you answer, what are some definite signs that a female shows that she is holding on?

I think you seek for an answer that nobody can give you a definite answer to. If reading people was that easy, and there was a definite answer to all this, there wouldn't be so much confusion in relationships now would it?

It is especially difficult for anybody to answer your question without the details, you are asking us to tap into the psychological mind of what, a "average" male? We know nothing about this man, so perhaps you should tell us this long and complicated story so we have a better idea of what he is like.

just because he is keeping contact doesn't mean he's still holding on to the previous relationship..maybe hes working towards a relationship as friends...you were both in each others lives and were there for each other, its hard to just cut contact with someone completely

however I do agree with Maddie...you need ask him whats going on because you keep getting mixed signals...ask him what he wants because it isnt fair to you for him to come along whenever he wants to mess around..tell him you cant do that bc you do still have feelings for him and unless he wants a relationship it'll have to stop....unless you're ok with your current situation...i know it would probably just cause more pain for me

If you're asking the question.. He probably isn't