Although important sex is only a part of a relationship. There are other ways to satisfy her: toys.
It's between you two what happens next,only you two know how strong your relationship is.Good luck!

You shouldn't leave your wife. Sex is important but it's not what builds the whole marriage. It's good that she opened up to you and told you. Many others would have just cheated and that's not right either. Some advice would be to find some new toys, try some new things, places, positions, and maybe see a sex therapist to help. Good-luck

You understand her problem or read sex tips don't leave your wife because marriage relation are to god gift

Sex is important to most men. It's normal and healthy to question the validity of your marital satisfaction without sex. You should be more concerned that she waited 12 years to tell you that she's been lying about this and that the first solution she suggested is extramarital sex. That points to some serious trust and communication problems. Coincidentally these things tend to be much larger obstacles for the female orgasm than any anatomical problem. As folks have pointed out there are whole worlds of things that can be done about size and stamina, however none of them are likely to work unless you can build an open communication.

So don't ask us if you should leave your wife. Ask her, Seriously and in just the some frame you posted this question. Be honest and vulnerable about what you're feeling and ask her if she's willing to do whatever needs to be done to rebuild your marriage. If she's committed to the marriage I strongly recommence couples counseling as a way to establish that foundation of trust and communication. It sounds like you care about one another very deeply. Leaving her won't restore your confidence sexually, if anything it will only make you doubt yourself more but a marriage that isn't fulfilling to you isn't worth the work or sacrifice of remaining in it.

i appreciate all the feedback...i feel like i have not given all the info though. i dont feel like she's done anything wrong and i do respect her honesty. however, i dont think its fair to her to make her go the rest of her life sexless, which i really dont think is feasible anyway. i am UNABLE to approach her sexually and she is not into toys. some of the things she said was that she was tired of "working", meaning givin head to get me hard. she wants to get worked by someone with exceptional size. i dont think this feeling is gonna go away for her. she also stated that she is not interested in making love anymore, she just wants to f&*%. not concerned with kissing or any kind of foreplay. i feel like she is a free spirit because of what she is willing to do to do this...meaning meet some random man at a club and go to a hotel. i dont really want my wife to be open to being some dudes jump off like that

I understand you problem but first you try to way her all this thing

tried everything right after she told me. tried viagra, penis rings, massage, and even tried to find her gspot with my finger. she said it felt like she was at the doctor. i also banged her for about 40 min, asked her if we had continued for another hr would it have made any difference and she said no.

She is ready to leave

thats what i thought but she swears she doesnt want a divorce and she loves me. she breaks down crying at the thought of us not being together. she says she can separate sex from love so she wants to keep our family but just get her sex life elsewhere

This situation is a nightmare. There is no way she is going to go outside the marriage for sex, and end up staying in the marriage with you. Sooner or later you will divorce. This is no way to live a life. You have to find out why you are not satisfying her, then correct the problem. MOST women do not have orgams vaginally. Tell her that. It's not that you are doing anything wrong. It's that she is not able to have a vaginal orgasm and she is blaming you. You need to get more familiar with her parts down there, find that G-spot and see if you can do anything with it. She might get an orgasm that way, she might not. It's a very common problem for women, but most women are ok with being stimulated clitorally. Hey, orgasms are orgasms. They're all good!

thats what I thought raven53. i can give her oral and she cums all the time,no problem. the only problem is after that it makes her wanna get smashed even more, it makes her more horny. the real problem of why i cant satisfy her is size and stamin (what she said). its like she's insatiable unless you have a giant porn penis and bang her till she cant do it anymore...and you're right, it is a nightmare

Do you really want to live like this? It's not going to be easy. What about a huge dildo? Can't you get one of those and use it on her? But then what about YOUR satisfaction? Don't you have to have YOUR needs met?

you tell she loves you. You find actual problem is love or only sex. sex is not main purpose life do forget it.

i asked her about a huge dildo and we even went to look at some. i got a look at what she's lookin for, 9inches and it was like a beer can. she's not into toys though, she is not really interested in fake penises...as far as my satisfaction, she is very good at what she does, gives unbelievable head and works me real good with the hips also. my satisfaction is not an issue (sexually).

i know she does love me, no doubt about that and i know sex isnt everything but in my opinion sex is a third of a marriage. along with love and respect being the other 2 thirds

Only you can decide whether you will be able to live with your wife cheating on you with other men. I can tell you right now, I don't think it will work, because men do NOT want to be compared with other men in the love-making department. It will always be on your mind, and always bother you. How could it not, if you know some stranger is satisfying your wife and you can't? You have some tough decisions to make concerning this marriage. Myself, I could not live like this, but each to his own.

im definitely not gonna do the open marriage thing. the options are divorce or sexless marriage basically. to make matters more difficult we have a 4 yr old

Living in a sexless marriage is harder for a man than a woman I feel. And you should not have to live this way. Instead of worrying about how she feels, your wife should be concerned with how YOU feel. She has damaged your self-esteem in telling her you don't satisfy her. That is the kiss of death to a man. Even if you live in a sexless marriage, there will always be a ghost between you...the ghost of other partners, because it is obvious your wife wants the sex. So what are you supposed to do? It will cause nothing but lies, and uncertaintly. I feel for you tyrone, I really do, and for your child, but also you wife might benefit from getting some therapy. Maybe there is a doctor out there that can help her. I somehow get the feeling there is more to this story than we are hearing. Has she already had an affair? She might be comparing your performance to someone else's? Just asking..

you seem like a really nice guy....maybe too nice for your own good....she sounds controlling to me....is she? if you banged her, as you referred to it, for 40 minutes and she said it would have made no difference if you did it longer.....sounds like she is definitely the one with the problem...not you....could she be dealing with any past issues? in my opinion, she's not very much of a mother to sleep with someone outside her marriage...sounds like you would not expose your daughter to that situation....if you don't attend a good church already, make that a priority and that will help get your home in line....if she still chooses to stray, at least you'll be headed in the right direction for you and your daughter.....

I really feel for you Tyronne. I think she is already having an affair. This woman sounds like she is torn between a loving safe husband and a great lover. She wants to have her cake and eat it too and it just doesn't work that way. I think it is so mean what she is putting you through. She sounds very selfish. You shouldn't have to live without sex and especially if she is out getting it from someone else. You have a big decision to make. Yes, sex is not everything in a marriage but this situation is way more than a couple just losing some passion or sexual drive with each other. This is a wife who has insulted you to the point where she is taking away all of your self-confidence and manhood wanting to go outside the marriage because you don't satisfy her. Remember, a child is better off growing up in two happy homes rather than one miserable home.