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Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum > Should I leave my boyfriend/baby's father and how?
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Q: Should I leave my boyfriend/baby's father and how?
asked by: jenjeng on August 4th, 2009
New User
Most people would say I have it made. I am a stay at home mother and have things pretty much made. My boyfriend is 14 years older then me. I gave him his only child who is now 3. We got pregnant 6 months into dating and we kind of just went from there. Today after 4 years I am severely depressed and not happy at all. He has started treating me very badly and degrading me even in front of our daughter. He makes all the decisions in our relationship and I have no say. I thought I wanted to marry him one day but now I can't even see why I'm still with him. In the past when I would bring up marriage or just a ring he would get defensive and start auguring with me over something completely off subject. I'm 25 I want another child and when I bring that up he tells me "well go have fun". I feel like I'm up against a wall and I can't get out. I don't want to take my daughter away from the only home she knows... but I can't see us spending or wasting anymore time here. Please help me. I know what I need to do; I just don't know how to go about it. Please consider my daughter who I have a feeling he is going to fight for if I try to leave him.
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MyrahU
replied on August 4th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy (online)
A home where your mother is degraded, emotionally and verbally abused, is no home a child wants to be in. Do you want your daughter to grow up learning that this is how men are supposed to treat women? She will repeat this pattern when she grows up if you don't do something.

Unfortunately, it sounds like he went for someone so much younger so he could have someone to control. Do you have family or close friends you can stay with? Maybe you two can work things out in counseling, but until then, you need to get yourself and your daughter to a different environment. Nothing is going to get better while he has control over you. If you are afraid of him, then you really need to get out.

As for custody, he can't take your daughter away from you completely. Yes, he can have joint custody, but unless you are an unfit mother, the courts will not take her away. Just make sure to get yourself a good lawyer.

Please write back and tell us how you are doing. Good luck.
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richland12
replied on August 6th, 2009
New User
i agree
you dont want your daughter in front of all the yelling and carrying on. because thats how it was in my house . My mom then found out my poppy was cheatin on her and had had a bby on her. i qrew up not trusting men . ikno you love him but your child doesnt deserve to be in front of it all. he should at least have the most up respect for his daugter. if not, he doesnt have respect for you. you and your daughter deserves better mommy !
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xomollyxo7
replied on August 21st, 2009
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Get out of there fast! You do not want your child to grow up thinking it is right for her husband to put her down, and yell at her do you? You can find better for you and your child, and I believe if he really loved you he wouldn't say things like that.
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