Oh god...I dunno.

How is your husband reacting to this? Have you talked to him about how this is making you feel? Do you KNOW it's his? I mean...not to make her seem like the scum of the Earth, but how do you even know?

Honestly...you need to talk with your husband. This is not something you need to be dealing with alone. Don't make it into a guilt session...just explain to him how you are currently feeling.

I cannot even begin to pretend I know how you're feeling. My deepest sympathies go out to you. This is entirely unfair for someone to go through. Talk to him, but not make yourself crazy. If you've had enough...maybe you need to separate for awhile. Not completely divorce...but, just take some "time out" from one another.

I would also suggest, if you have the money, go to counselling. They won't tell you what to do...but they'll help you discover what maybe you need to do.

Good luck, :: hugs ::

honestly i don´t know for sure if she is bs-ing or not cause i actually think she wants him to suffer now and ruin his /our life.
today she called me though and suddenly i doubt that i can doubt that she is not pregnant. i guess i just wish she was. he is completely stressed out but doesn´t talk much.
i wish i could get some counselling or so but i just feel like i need someone right now. it feels like my life is completely ruined but yet i just can´t leave....

i agree with sydney...you need to think about your happiness...

also..this directed to sydney...homewreckers are scum on the eart ...they are...i'm sorry..to get involved with another womans man is sooooo wrong...whether she knew or not i have no idea..i'm just saying if she did...yea..scum...o...and karmas a you know what

yeah she knows and she knew. it was "just" supposed to be an affair i guess.
my biggest problem is that i love where i live and everything here. i can´t go back home. when i think about my happiness: it would be here if "it" hadn´t happened. so am i screwed?

well why cant you stay where you are without him if it comes to it???
maybe you two do need some time apart...? i just know if it were me I probably would...cuz i know if i looked at him id either want to break down in tears or beat the crap out of him(or maybe both haha)...you need some time to think for yourself about what you want..dont think about him..think about YOUR happiness...and if that includes him..then it does..if it doesnt..then think about what the next step for you would be...in a relationship you're supposed to live and make decisions that will affect you and your significant other in a positive way...clearly he didn't do that...so why should you take him into consideration right now? Live for YOU...go somewhere to clear your head or just go out with girlfriends or something

problem is i can´t really leave cause i don´t even have a regular job.... i mean we are good together when it comes to finances but i couldn´t live by myself right now. thing is- i don´t want to live by myself. i just don´t know i f i am crazy for saying i still want to be with him. i don´t know if i can handle the whole "the other one is having a baby" situation. and the more i think about it the less i think i can stay with him which makes me even more sad....
it´s completely messed up.

do you have family or a friend you can turn to right now? do you really see this relationship working out or not? If you still want to be with him no one on here can change what you want...but it seems like right now you're unsure of what you want...can you see yourself walking away from this entire situation and moving forward with your life or do you want to stay with him...obviously this is going to be a problem that just wont go away given the fact that she is pregnant...are you willing to deal with that?
Is he going to be involved in the childs life? Its one thing that the guy had an affair...IF you two could make it through that then...props to you...but the fact that the guy is having a kid by this woman...is like a knife to the heart..its not something that can just be talked about and simply forgotten...i dont know that I'd personally be able to deal with that...but given the financial situation youre in right now it seems nothing is easy for you..you cant walk out due to your situation, you dont seem to be fully commited to working things out with him.....like I said earlier..is there not a family or friend you can turn to right now? You really need to clear your head

Yeah- find some place that you can just take a time-out. Honestly, this is just ripping you apart.

Counselling doesn't mean you leave him or you don't have someone. It means you have an unbiased figure to talk to. This is extremely beneficial for a lot of people, and I encourage you to explore this option.

Worrywart- I didn't want to stereotype this woman as just wanting to blackmail him. I just watched a thing on WE last night interviewing some women who are "the other woman." Totally disgusting. This woman will get her up-and-comings...I promise.

first of all thank you guys so much for all your responses.
i am still completely messed up - actually it´s getting worse.
i don´t have any one here, i just came to the u.s. in oct. and i only know a few people, not good enough though that i could stay with them....
what´s killing me is that i am not 100% confinced that "she " is really pregnant. again: maybe it´s only because i wish she wasn´t and then u start doubting and seeing little signs why she couldn´t be and stuff.
i really really need to talk to s.o., i just don´t know where to go.
the really weirdest part is: i do not want to leave him. so am i crazy or what? or am i just used to being with him?
i don´t know what to do

your husband should definitely demand a paternity test if she is indeed pregnant...and if she isn't then great! Maybe you two could be able to move on and get through this...i really have absolutely no idea what I'd do either so I can see why you're so torn...you WANT things to work out and go back to normal between the two of you but in the back of your mind you know things will never be the same...you're in a difficult time in your life I really hope things work out for the best for you with or without him and you can always come here if you're feeling down and need to rant!
I agree with sydney as well..talking to someone about this can be really beneficial just to get things off your chest

HERE IS A LIST OF SOME COUNSELLING SERVICES THAT YOU CAN START ONLINE.

It's a list of 115 counsellors that you can initially contact via email. It seems like this might be a start. You can contact these people and see if there is any way they can help you begin the process of sorting things out. Just be careful with a few...it seems like they involve money at times so just go through some of the links, ok?

Yes- demand a paternity test. I'm very skeptical of this woman. I'm assuming you only have a greencard...not a citizen? Is this correct?

Have you spoken with your husband at all recently about this? I know it's tearing you up inside, but you need to get some ideas of what he's thinking also.

I agree with WorryWart...I think you want to desperately for things to go back to normal, that you may cheat yourself of proper healing. If you want the relationship to be "okay", you need to work through things...individually and as a couple.

Keep letting us know how you're doing, ok?

gurl you tell him that that is his prblem you will not have ne thing to do with that bby

he will definatley do the paternity test and then we´ll see i guess. i think my prob is that i don´t wanna leave him and in the end i find out she wasn´t really pregnant or it isn´t his. but if she does have it then i don´t know if i can handle that. so it just feels kind of weird acting normal but i really don´t know what´s going on.
he basically says that we will have to see and he´s happy that i am here. and i mean: what else can he say: after doing all this and i am still here?!he probably feels like the king of the world, i don´t know.
thing is: we are actually good togethere. that´s why i don´t really wanna give it up. i guess only time can tell now what´s gonna happen cause as always it all depends....
and i hate having to be patient!
i´ll try to get in touvh with s.o., thank you all for the help! i really really appreciate it.