So I began a long distance relationship w/someone a while back. Yes, it originated online. It was fall of 2007, I think maybe October. Anywho, there was a 2000 mile difference; I'm in Phoenix, she is in Chicago. It started out as just somebody I'd talk to throughout the day. That turned into conversations that lasted all day long through instant messaging, emailing, texting, and phone calls, that would go until 3 or 4 in the morning. I developed a fantastic friendship with this girl, but also imagined what it'd be like to be 'with' her. They say the best relationships are w/someone you communicate with and can talk to, and we definitely had that, to say the least.

Anyways, this lasts about eight or nine months. I changed jobs, so the 4am calls were over, but there'd be about 100 exchanged emails throughout the day, and then phone calls all night. In June of 2008, her mother gave her $ for graduating college (at the time, she was 22, I was 27). She chose to spend that flying to Phoenix for four days to meet me. This thing I never intended to be more than just a simple online friendship to pass the time, turned out to be an absolutely amazing weekend. The communication connection was completely electric in person, in every aspect.

We continued to talk over the summer. She pushed for an "official" relationship. I tried to refrain, knowing it'd be tough and that she was young, but also knowing this girl was incredibly special. She came out again in October and the "official" tags were used. It got to the point where after the left back home that time, I'd be sitting there in my house on a Saturday, with my not even realizing I'd be talking to her for eight hours on the cell phone.

She comes out again for New Year Eve, for a week. Met all of my friends, and they absolutely adored this girl, basically telling me not to F it up, because they could all see "it" in us. A few weeks later, I sent her a text message while drinking that said, "Is it OK if I ask you to marry me now, and then do it the right way later?" She replied back with a "yes <3." A few days later, she was upset, thinking I had forgotten I'd said that, and only did it because I was drunk. I assured her, yes, I remember, yes, I was drinking, but it's something I am in no way afraid of.

I went to Chicago, for Valentines Day (also her bday) and met her family and friends. It went perfect. She was super excited because they all loved me, and that weekend she told me she wanted me to put a ring on her finger. I told her I promised I would.

A little more background - she was originally going to move to Phoenix in July, 2009. This became November, 2009 when a client (she got a fantastic job right out of college and it appears they're grooming her to sprint up the corporate ladder) requested her on a project. Then, it became June, 2010, and then 2-3 years until Phoenix, with a couple stops in other cities in between. I had always said, I didn't want to live somewhere cold, but when she said 2-3 years, I said, "Let's see what happens," meaning, with her job. I wanted to be with her, but needed to know where I'd be transferring and when. A few days later, this became 1-2 years more in Chicago, and then a few other cities, and 5 years until Phoenix. I told her immediately, I'd work on getting transferred to Chicago. A couple days later, she says she needs some time and space to figure things out.

A week goes back, a very tough week, w/out any communication with my girlfriend, my best friend. Around 3:15am, I hear a song that reminds me of her, and in the middle of a long text, I get one from her. Weird timing. I make the call, and she tells me she doesn't need space, she doesn't need time. She is in love with me, and wants to be with me, so if I can move, she'd be thrilled. This was about mid-March.

In mid April, she tells me she's had a very hard time, working about 90 hours/week, trying to find time to study for her CPA exams, and having no free time to work out or do anything personal. She was crying at work late one night, and her boss (34 year old divorcee) was her "shoulder to cry on." She said they had gone out a few times after that, but there was no sex. I was shocked, but asked her, do you still love me? What do you want? She said she was still in love w/me and didn't want to lose me. I asked her to end it with this guy, and I'd try to see just how quickly I could move. The next day she tells me she's ended it with the guy, and over the next few weeks, she's helping me find a place to live, excited about moving in together in a few months when her lease ends, etc.

May 9.... I get an email saying the other guy is still around, she's uncomfortable about me moving there. Shes still in love with me, she still I'm the greatest, still as feelings, but also has feelings for this other guy. May 20, I get offered the job in Chicago. She says all the same things, but that she is still seeing the boss, and he will not allow her to see me or speak to me if I move.......... I turn down the offer I worked so hard to get.

Here is where I'm at now: I've dated A LOT of girls and am an excellent judge of character. I've been in love a couple times before and been crushed by them. I understand what happened here, with the way this all began. She is an emotional girl, and was completely overwhelmed. She needed someone to physically be there, told hold, hug, etc. And being 2000 miles away, I couldn't be that guy. But i also know this cheating/deception thing is NOT her. I've spoken w/one of her friends, and they say the same thing, that a month ago, she was head over heels and couldn't wait for me to move. The only thing I can think of, is that this recently divorced 34 yr old guy is manipulating the hell out of her, but there's nothing I can do.

I have no doubt in my mind that she was the 'one.' Been in love before, like I said, but nothing has EVER felt so right. Nobody has ever treated me as well or made me feel as good. I have never had anyone I've been able to talk to so easily and for so long, nor had as much in common. All I want to do is go to Chicago on the next flight with a bouquet of sunflowers and show up at her apartment, but at this point, I think it's a bad idea. Her friend says she was confused for a couple months, always crying and upset, not knowing what to do, basically, "leaving the one you love for the one you like." But the friend also thinks she's made a mistake with this older guy. With a company of this size, there will be major reprocussions (sp?) if they are found out.

I'm doing my best to not contact her, trying to keep myself occupied doing other things, but nothing works. I've gone to work, gone to work out, gone out for guys' nights, had poker night at the house, family get togethers, and I cannot for the life of me, get her out of my head.

Do I really just do it, go for broke, and randomly fly out there? Do I continue to give it my best and try to steer clear for a month or so, and maybe talk to the friend again, see how things are going, and then give her a call?

The last 18 months has been without a doubt been the happiest time of my life, and these last 15 days have been the most miserable and depressing I have ever experienced.