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Q: Sexual difficulties
asked by:
chibi
New User
Not sure if this is the right forum but what the hell.
Basically I'm dating a guy, we've been together for 6 months now and we've both said we love each other. He and I both have very different views on sex. I'm not sex-obsessed (since tbh it usually hurts me) but I do enjoy to have sex every now and again, whereas he doesn't really like it, he'd be happy to cut it out of his life completely.
He's a complicated person when it comes to sex. We both enjoy oral sex and mutual masturbation a lot and we're always up for experimenting because we're both very open people. But when it comes to sex he seems like he's not interested. It seems like whenever we have sex it's like he's doing it just to keep me happy, which I don't want, I want to have sex with someone who wants to as well. And sometimes he just doesn't seem to stay in the mood, he'll be very hard one minute and lifeless the next. Am I doing something wrong? In the rest of the relationship we seem good, it's just the sexual stuff that seems to go wrong.
Recently whenever we've started to get "in the mood" and we've started to have oral sex or something I'll usually please him for a while then we'll swap over but recently he's sort of started pleasing me, then he'll stop and we'll end up stopping everything after a while, like he's bored of it and then I'm pretty much left hanging.
Also, something else that confuses me greatly, he doesn't like to come when he's with me. He's only ever came once during me giving him a hj and that's only because I didn't stop. He won't come during sex even while wearing a condom because he thinks "it's weird". For me I personally like it when a guy does, and I think it gives quite a nice climax (in every sense) to the night, but he doesn't.
Any suggestions? Does any other couple have this problem??
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Replies(11)
marvel
Supporter
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chibi
New User
I've tried asking him about it and his reply is always "because it's horrible"
He just seems to have this problem with bodily fluids, he said to me "Bodily fluids are just wrong, blood is possibly the only one I don't mind, and I prefer it to stay inside my body."
I don't know, it probably is completely psychological but I know he genuinely isn't bothered about sex
He just seems to have this problem with bodily fluids, he said to me "Bodily fluids are just wrong, blood is possibly the only one I don't mind, and I prefer it to stay inside my body."
I don't know, it probably is completely psychological but I know he genuinely isn't bothered about sex
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Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User
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chibi
New User
He's bisexual, as am I, we both know that (no offence taken btw ^^). That's never been an issue though, in fact, I think we both enjoy being with each other more because we're both so open minded about things like that. We do try to talk about things like this but sometimes he's very contradicitve, he'll say something then try to explain more and then end up saying the opposite of what he's just said.
Well I don't know really, he hasn't had very much experience and before we went out he had been single for over 1.5 yrs But I asked him if he'd ever come inside someone before and he said no because he thought it was disgusting. I've tried telling him that it's silly for him to dismiss something before trying it (because he's not usually like that at all)
Well I don't know really, he hasn't had very much experience and before we went out he had been single for over 1.5 yrs
But I asked him if he'd ever come inside someone before and he said no because he thought it was disgusting. I've tried telling him that it's silly for him to dismiss something before trying it (because he's not usually like that at all)
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Keeba88
Experienced User
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chibi
New User
Believe me I've tried asking him and he can never give me a better answer than "because it's weird/gross/unnatural/etc" (which I think is rubbish personally, how can that be unnatural??)
He said that being scared of getting me pregnant is a given, but we've had sex without condoms before (I'm on the pill and we've both been checked) and it didn't bother him. It's just every time we have sex sometimes I'll finish, sometimes I won't, but he never does, even if he's very close he'll just stop.
Though albeit all this weirdness it is nice to date a guy who prefers to just snuggle up at night
He said that being scared of getting me pregnant is a given, but we've had sex without condoms before (I'm on the pill and we've both been checked) and it didn't bother him. It's just every time we have sex sometimes I'll finish, sometimes I won't, but he never does, even if he's very close he'll just stop.
Though albeit all this weirdness it is nice to date a guy who prefers to just snuggle up at night
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Keeba88
Experienced User
I agree snuggling is a must! it just makes us ladies feel so loved and so comforted. It just like sayig "i love you" and realy really meaning it! Well i'm glad that snuggling is going for you. GOOD LUCK HUN!
it just makes us ladies feel so loved and so comforted. It just like sayig "i love you" and realy really meaning it! Well i'm glad that snuggling is going for you. GOOD LUCK HUN!
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chibi
New User
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Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User
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marvel
Supporter
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Dreadmuse
New User
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