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Sex Problems with Wife

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Sex Problems with Husband
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November 24th, 2009
Hi,
I am quite a bit frustrated, as it seems my wife's sex drive is much lower than mine. I would like to have it 2-3 times a week, but she only wants 2-3 times a month. Also, she refuses to pleasure me when she is having her pd. Cumulatively, it is driving me crazy.

When we were first married, I practically had to fight her off. She really put me to work (to get pregnant). She even counciled a girlfriend's husband that it is important to have sex often.

We make love and I give her complete satisfaction, and it is a great experience, then - nothing. I just don't get it that she can go and not even care after great experiences. She is very tired at the end of the day, taking care of the children, but I'm not sure if it's not an excuse. The tiredness happens really fast - as soon as the children are asleep.

She loves me a lot, I know, but has a very severe temper. She often drops comments which infer she is smarter than I am, a lot of little things that are borderline verbal abuse. I love her and the kids and don't want to leave. I have an opportunity to hook up with this nice, very curvaceous woman who has told me I am a really sweet person. It is too tempting to bear. Any suggestions?
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starship33
replied November 24th, 2009
Supporter
on a good day you have to tell your wife how you feel about the verbal abuse and sex issue. you have to tell her that you are not happy, if she loves you she should try to compromise.
as a women i know how hard her role is. another part of your conversation should be about when to make time for each other. i m sure she would be heart broken if you look else where.
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W0LF
replied November 24th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Well obviously you don't want to destroy the things you've accomplished in life by breaking your marital vows. Avoid contact with this woman who's hitting on you.
What is your wife telling you when you calmly discuss the differences in your sex drive and how to resolve how you can work together to solve the problem?
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CarolineEF
replied November 24th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Frequent sex begets frequent sex...This is the lesson that she has forgot...This alone is the reason for so many affairs....We women often forget to remember this part of married life where we started out...How we made love and that a man is a man....Talk with her....Tell her of your needs...Don't be bashful as you are right in what you are saying....There is nothing as hot as morning sex before you get up for the day...Set the alarm a bit early...Makes each of you smile all day long...Settle this now before the problem grows....I wish you well....

Caroline
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happy1234
replied November 25th, 2009
Thanks for your help. I have discussed this issue so many times with her. Her response is "sorry, but something has to give, and this is it." We have 3 children, and her mother and brother live with us. She said she knows it's a problem, but I am making it into a much bigger problem than it is. I am very reluctant to keep bringing it up anymore. It's personally embarrasing to me. I'm suffering in silence a lot. She always tells me "you know how much I love you, right?" I feel the same. I'd be willing to compromise to 2x per week. I am thinking of hooking up with this girl at work and keeping it as a deep, dark secret. She is very sexy, I am thinking of doing it for the good of the marriage. I know it sound pretty bad and feel bad about it. If wife found out, it would be very bad.
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W0LF
replied November 25th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
How can you imagine an affair in any way being good for the marriage. Seriously, follow down that line of logic and find some kind of scenario. Be up front with your wife about what's going on. Tell her you sympathise with her limitations and you don't want her to have to make love to you if she isn't into it. Tell her you want to have an open marriage and there's a girl you've met that's probably interested. Get permission in writing from her. If she's fine with this then you're not cheating. If for some reason she sees this as a problem maybe it will look like a bigger problem once she realizes what you're willing to do to meet your needs.
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