Womens Chat Forum - sex or no ?

Womens Health > Womens Chat Forum > sex or no ?

Q: sex or no ?

asked by: Aunt WeeWee on April 25th, 2008

Experienced User

ok, imma make this short as possiable. I go to prom in about a month & Im taking a guy friend. We have been good friends for about 2 yrs & we are no more then friends. Well today we were talking about prom night & he was talking about having sex after prom. I was so shocked cause i didn't even have that in mind! Idk what to tell him. I told him i didnt know. It kinda creeps me out, cause like i said we are just friends. He even said that he had bought some "freaky Stuff" like handcuffs & he bought me loangrie. (not sure how to spell) My mind is just blown!

What would you girls do in my situation?
What would you tell him?

Thanks in advance!

Replies(17)

Rosie H

replied on April 25th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

Well he just sounds like he got sucked into the idea of sex on prom night and since you are the girl...well you get the picture.

Honestly I would just tell him that all you are is his friend and only his friend and just cause its prom does not mean you will fall into bed with him. And if sex is what hes looking for then he better go with someone else.

Just be honest and tell him exactly how you feel.

Maddie34

replied on April 25th, 2008

Moderator

Uh, if I didn't want to have sex or do anything with him then I wouldn't. Just because you're going to prom with someone doesn't make you obligated to have sex with them.

Marianne0558

replied on April 25th, 2008

Supporter

Obviously he thinks of you as more than a friend. Don't lead him on, tell him straight up it's not happening.

Sex is not obligatory because he bought you a corsage and escorted you to a dance. Otherwise, that would be called prostitution. Smile

j/k

Be honest with him. If he is really the good friend you think he is, he will understand.

PenguinsRus

replied on April 25th, 2008

Supporter

I'd definitely just straight up tell him how you feel. If you don't want to have sex, tell him that. If you just want to stay friends, tell him that. He may be a little embarrassed but its better than having to face it when he whips the handcuffs out after the last dance. Good luck!

Aunt WeeWee

replied on April 28th, 2008

Experienced User

Thanks for all the replys! Yesterday on the phone he brought it up again & i told him that just because we were going to prom together dosnt mean we have to have sex prom night. I told him the thought hadnt even came to my mind until he brought it up & since we were jus friends i realli didnt feel comfortable. He sounded a lil dissapointed but he said he understood, but then he asked me to atleast think about it.......
Awys Thanks for all your guys help!
<3 christina

Rosie H

replied on April 28th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

sounds like he just wants some....since hes already a friend maybe he thinks it will be easier for him....i dont really know. I experienced some of the same pressures in high school too....hes just young.

mominashoe

replied on April 28th, 2008

Supporter

Yeah I think so too...besides, having sex can ruin some really good "just friends" relationships!

PlacidIntricacy

replied on May 7th, 2008

Experienced User

Uhh yeah...

That's actually crazy. weird he'd think that you wanted to so much that he went out and bought stuff for it. I am going to assume you confused him in some way. (as a guy i get confused with girls because they tend to not say what they want... "i hate you" means you are such a good boyfriend, "i hate sex" means give it to me NOW, "i want sex means" i want to get attention or feel sexy? "you look cute" means never wear that again) why cant things just be simple?

yeah sex should be saved for someone you truely love, not just a friend. someone you can picture yourself being with for the rest of you life (just an opinion).

Maddie34

replied on May 7th, 2008

Moderator

hehe, thanks for the input PlacidIntricacy, but this is a women's chat. You're posts may get reported.

Feel free to post as much as you want in women's sexual health forum Very Happy

And I just realized you're new, welcome to the forum!

PlacidIntricacy

replied on May 8th, 2008

Experienced User

yeah.

Thank you, and i am sorry... but yea, i am new! Very Happy

it's okay, i just wanted to give my input. ill stay out of here for a little bit Smile

CASTEW03

replied on May 8th, 2008

New User

SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE A GUYS POINT OF VIEW AS LONG AS IT IS IN GOOD TASTE.

PenguinsRus

replied on May 8th, 2008

Supporter

Re: yeah.

PlacidIntricacy wrote:

Thank you, and i am sorry... but yea, i am new! Very Happy

it's okay, i just wanted to give my input. ill stay out of here for a little bit Smile

Maddie is right; there is no male posting aloud in the women's general chat. However, you can post in all of the other womens forums if you want to (sexual health, vaginal health, breasts, etc). Thank you for your input either way though, and welcome to ehealth.

Aunt WeeWee

replied on May 9th, 2008

Experienced User

Re: Uhh yeah...

PlacidIntricacy wrote:

I totally agree with you, sex should be with someone you truely love! If I did confuse him, i dont know how. He knows were just friends. Actually last year, we tried being more then friends, but it only lasted about 2 wks, cause it was just too weird and we both decided to just stick with being friends. we never did anything thou. Some people say that he acts like he has stronger feelings for me then just friends. I just dont see him as more then a friend. I actually have a boyfriend too. Aywys, thanks for tha reply!

Aunt WeeWee

replied on May 9th, 2008

Experienced User

Re: yeah.

PlacidIntricacy wrote:

Thank you, and i am sorry... but yea, i am new! Very Happy

it's okay, i just wanted to give my input. ill stay out of here for a little bit Smile

By the way, i didnt mind you replying on a womans chat, but it is for women. Thanks thou! Welcome to ehealth!

PlacidIntricacy

replied on May 9th, 2008

Experienced User

Ahh

yeah, you're welcome. and thank you all for being so nice and responding to anything i said.

and to respond to what you said Aunt WeeWee Very Happy

you have a boyfriend. you definatly should go to prom with him! i wouldnt go with anyone but my girlfriend even if she couldn't go. prom just doesn't seem right without the right guy (or girl).

just a thought based on my prom experiences Very Happy

Aunt WeeWee

replied on May 12th, 2008

Experienced User

Re: Ahh

PlacidIntricacy wrote:

yeah, you're welcome. and thank you all for being so nice and responding to anything i said.

and to respond to what you said Aunt WeeWee Very Happy

Well see the thing is, I told my friend that I would take him to prom, before I got with my bf, so i really couldn't go and tell him he cant go. I would feel too terriable about it.. Plus my bf is not a prom person and he's a junior and dosnt want to go to prom til his senior year.

Thanks again!

worrywart01

replied on May 16th, 2008

Extremely eHealthy

maybe i'm late on this subject but unless you're dating the guy and serious i wouldn't..which honestly how common is it for high school relationships to go past high school...giving it up on prom night is so cliche and causes way more stress than it should..i'm SO glad I had a good guy friend with no expectations afterwards and i'm definitely glad i waited until i was in love, don't be pressured into anything especially if you're just friends

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